[AaronMusicLA]

Hi everyone I am Aaron im 14 I am posting on here because I'm really thinking I'm depressed filled out some forms online says I'm depressed I don't know. I just feel well I have been like this for about 2 years now I will explain how it started its a long story. So I will sort of bullied in middle school it got so bad I was scared of going to school. But no one was hitting me it was more verbal abuse! Anyway so middle school finished and it was the summer holidays i went on holiday that summer to turkey. I was so happy never sad really loved to have fun really social I talked to all the people their even made friends ha pictures taken with some Dutch guy there. it was really good and I was ok. I started ignoring all the people I used to talk to at school and I would not answere the door of they knocked. Most of them
Bullied me. Anyway by the time school came back around i was so scared of going back to see those people and more at highschool I had had death threats from people I just couldn't go so my mum took me up one day and I just cried and cried in the car park couldn't go in! So the teachers came out and Convinced me to go in and I was told I would have a seperate room to work in for a whole there to get used to it I worked there for about 3 months. problem was the teacher in there was a bitch she would say at break or lunch time just to go and walk around the school and hang out but I was clearly scared of going out so I used to just open the doors and run away and they would get angry because I'm their responsibility. The room was in the six form bit so all the older people made me nervous I would stand in the hallway before running away near the door and just watch them stare at me I couldn't do it! So time went by and i stopped going all together and for the next year i completely ignored any teenager anyway anyone who knocked on my door to find out why I didn't go to school all of them Then I started looking at myself in the mirror i had acne I looked like I had a fat face I braces but my teeth moved I hated myself i liked making YouTube videos before I was so attractive then I started getting dark circles under my eyes I hated the way I looked I would sit and stare in the mirror at myself crying and binge eating then starving myself I didn't really go outside ever! Then this year 2012 I started working out a bit got a home tutor and tanning in the sun to get vitamin d and brown skin but now I am again loosing interest in things I like and I want to kill myself I'm so ugly havnt talked to a teenager in 2 years I hate myself and the way I look I like eating healthy but I can't find the motivation to do anything at all ever! Nothing

[blu tack]

Obviously we can't diagnose you over the internet, but it sounds like there is something definitely going on. You really need to go to the doctors; in my experience they are very understanding about these things and really try to help. (And if yours isn't, don't be afraid to go to another one).

[Geoism]

Really sounds like you have alot of anxieties. I've had an eating disorder and have also been diagnosed with depression. The best I've ever done is get help. Go to your gp, and get the help you deserve. Hope this helps!



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