[Anonymous]

My girlfriend is on holiday right now in malia. I saw on her facebook page that she and her friends have added three guys that they have met over there and I'm a bit concerned, and I don't know whether to ask her about this when she returns.

I completely trusted her to go on holiday and have a great time with her friends. She even said herself that she wouldn't even be looking for other guys as she would be thinking about me constantly. So I trusted her not to do anything silly, yet now she has obviously been hanging out with other guys there and I'm getting worried.

I have been cheated on in the past and it took alot for me to trust her as much as I have done bit I feel like she has thrown it back in my face. I trusted her to go and have a good time with her friends, not to go and make friends with other guys. Have I got any reason to be concerned here or am I over reacting? And should I say anything to her about this when she gets back? Thanks.

[little_wizard123]

If she was cheating, I doubt she'd add them on Facebook as she's doing it. It's probably a good sign.

[arbitrary]

overreacting. i would probably be paranoid in that situation too, its natural. but yes youre probably overreacting. if she's on holiday, she is bound to meet people. she will have guys on her facebook friends list anyway. women meet guys and it doesnt have to mean anything. but, if she's attractive, they almost certainly will try it on with her. but that doesnt mean to say she wont punch them in the nose and say she has a bf. if you trust her, then everything's fine.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by arbitrary)
overreacting. i would probably be paranoid in that situation too, its natural. but yes youre probably overreacting. if she's on holiday, she is bound to meet people. she will have guys on her facebook friends list anyway. women meet guys and it doesnt have to mean anything. but, if she's attractive, they almost certainly will try it on with her. but that doesnt mean to say she wont punch them in the nose and say she has a bf. if you trust her, then everything's fine.

So do you think I should at least ask her who those guys were, or should I just ignore it all together? It's the fact that she promised me that she wasn't going to be talking to/meeting/dancing with other guys when she was there. But she obviously is. If I was on holiday and I had a girlfriend back home I wouldn't be talking to other girls whilst I'm away, I would have no reason to. So I just find it stragnge that they are now "friends" on facebook. They must have been out with each other for a while as you don't add someone on fb 5 minutes after meeting them.

I just don't see the need for her to be doing this.

Yeah I do tend to over react to some things (probably this included) but it just doesn't seem like her to be doing this, which is partly what's worrying me. Thanks for your reply.

[tehFrance]

(Original post by little_wizard123)
If she was cheating, I doubt she'd add them on Facebook as she's doing it. It's probably a good sign.

Please I know women that cheat on their BF and add the guy to FB... and the guys doing the same, it is more common than people think tbh.

[sharp910sh]

She may be cheating. I know. My girl did the same thing. came back saying loads of dudes flirted with her, made her feel good.

[King Kebab]

Why would she add them if she was cheating. That would be stupid as she would no you would find out. This is why I think you are overreacting.

[SweetsAndSugar]

There are people on here saying it's a good sign that she's added them on fb and that it's an indication she's not / isn't planning to cheat, others saying the opposite.
Imo I don't think a girl is any more or less likely to be cheating just because she's added a guy on fb, however I don't think it's unreasonable for you to feel a little uncomfortable with the idea.
She may be the kind of person that just accepts and sends friend requests from anyone she's met a couple of times before without thinking about whether she'll care much about speaking to them again or whatever.

[Wilfred Little]

(Original post by Anonymous)
My girlfriend is on holiday right now in malia.

I'd be more concerned about her being on holiday with her "girlies" on a party island than the activity on her Facebook account, tbh.

[Wilfred Little]

(Original post by arbitrary)
overreacting. i would probably be paranoid in that situation too, its natural. but yes youre probably overreacting. if she's on holiday, she is bound to meet people. she will have guys on her facebook friends list anyway. women meet guys and it doesnt have to mean anything. but, if she's attractive, they almost certainly will try it on with her. but that doesnt mean to say she wont punch them in the nose and say she has a bf. if you trust her, then everything's fine.

This is the biggest relationship myth of all time.

Please elaborate.

[dgeorge]

(Original post by Anonymous)
My girlfriend is on holiday right now in malia. I saw on her facebook page that she and her friends have added three guys that they have met over there and I'm a bit concerned, and I don't know whether to ask her about this when she returns.

I completely trusted her to go on holiday and have a great time with her friends. She even said herself that she wouldn't even be looking for other guys as she would be thinking about me constantly. So I trusted her not to do anything silly, yet now she has obviously been hanging out with other guys there and I'm getting worried.

I have been cheated on in the past and it took alot for me to trust her as much as I have done bit I feel like she has thrown it back in my face. I trusted her to go and have a good time with her friends, not to go and make friends with other guys. Have I got any reason to be concerned here or am I over reacting? And should I say anything to her about this when she gets back? Thanks.

How long have you known said gf? Is she a "party girl?"

There may or may not be anything to worry about. However, I personally wouldn't make a big deal about it - you can't expect her and her friends not to meet ANY guys while she's away. And FYI, there's nothing wrong with hanging out with other guys(within reason) or adding guys to facebook. Doesn't mean she's opening her legs for everyone who's friended her

[Anonymous]

(Original post by SweetsAndSugar)
I don't think it's unreasonable for you to feel a little uncomfortable with the idea.
She may be the kind of person that just accepts and sends friend requests from anyone she's met a couple of times before ...

Exactly. So she must have met up with them more than once, or spent a considerable amount of time with them one night. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of these boyfriends that forbids her from speaking to any other guy, but on holiday in a place like that guys are only after one thing. I don't see any reasonable excuse for hanging out with other guys while she's on holiday there, especially since she said she wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Wilfred Little)
I'd be more concerned about her being on holiday with her "girlies" on a party island than the activity on her Facebook account, tbh.

To be fair, this holiday was booked a year ago before we even met each other. And even her going on holiday doesn't bother me as I completely trust ..... Or trusted her.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by dgeorge)
How long have you known said gf? Is she a "party girl?"

There may or may not be anything to worry about. However, I personally wouldn't make a big deal about it - you can't expect her and her friends not to meet ANY guys while she's away. And FYI, there's nothing wrong with hanging out with other guys(within reason) or adding guys to facebook. Doesn't mean she's opening her legs for everyone who's friended her

We have been bf/gf for 5 months now, dated for a month before that. Why can't I expect that though? She is in a relationship with me so why would she want to meet other guys? If a girl came up to me I would tell her there and then I have a gf and I'm not interested, so why doesn't she do that? I'm pretty sure if it was me on holiday and I was adding girls that I had been meeting and hanging out with, my gf would be really pis$ed of! Like I said I'm not one of these boyfriends that forbids her to speak to guys, but while she's on holiday in a place like that where she KNOWS that guys are only interested in one thing and more to the point while I'm not there, is a bit suspicious to me.

[Pitt1988]

She might not want to meet other guys. What happened if her friends got talking to them, what would you expect her to do? Walk off on her own or just stand there and not open her mouth? For all you know she will have told them that she has a boyfriend and they are a laugh. Maybe they are staying in the same place. Maybe they were on the same flight and ended up at the same place. So many variables that could be the cause of the 'facebook add', just don't go jumping to any conclusions because that will only piss her off most likely.

Facebook is the end of so many relationships!

[Wilfred Little]

(Original post by Anonymous)
We have been bf/gf for 5 months now, dated for a month before that. Why can't I expect that though? She is in a relationship with me so why would she want to meet other guys? If a girl came up to me I would tell her there and then I have a gf and I'm not interested, so why doesn't she do that? I'm pretty sure if it was me on holiday and I was adding girls that I had been meeting and hanging out with, my gf would be really pis$ed of! Like I said I'm not one of these boyfriends that forbids her to speak to guys, but while she's on holiday in a place like that where she KNOWS that guys are only interested in one thing and more to the point while I'm not there, is a bit suspicious to me.

Like you say, if the tables were turned she wouldn't accept it.

For what it's worth, adding them could be completely innocent. She may just like the attention, that's a bad sign but irrelevant and another topic altogether.

I'm putting myself in the same situation in my head and I can't imagine me adding girls I've met on holiday while having a girlfriend. I'd have no reason to.

[dgeorge]

(Original post by Anonymous)
We have been bf/gf for 5 months now, dated for a month before that. Why can't I expect that though? She is in a relationship with me so why would she want to meet other guys? If a girl came up to me I would tell her there and then I have a gf and I'm not interested, so why doesn't she do that? I'm pretty sure if it was me on holiday and I was adding girls that I had been meeting and hanging out with, my gf would be really pis$ed of! Like I said I'm not one of these boyfriends that forbids her to speak to guys, but while she's on holiday in a place like that where she KNOWS that guys are only interested in one thing and more to the point while I'm not there, is a bit suspicious to me.

Because being in a relationship doesn't mean that you have to ignore 50% of the worlds population. If you want to totally ignore all women, then that's your perogative. However, I don't think it's reasonable of her to do so. I'm in a relationship, have a few female friends, and have added some myself. Doesn't MEAN I'm interested in them or that they're interested in me. While I won't disagree with you that they MAY be interested in her, its pure speculation at this point and there is also the chance that they may not be interested in her as well. Not every female I've added to my facebook I've wanted to have sex with

[ANARCHY__]

(Original post by Wilfred Little)
This is the biggest relationship myth of all time.

Please elaborate.

Here you are:

(Original post by Othello)
I had been happy, if the general camp,
Pioners and all, had tasted her sweet body,
So I had nothing known. O, now, for ever
Farewell the tranquil mind! farewell content!

[doughnut92]

I'd say you have a right to be concerned but you're kind of over-reacting too. It is possible, shock horror, that girls can make friends with guys and it be nothing more than that. Like someone else said, her friends could have got talking to them first hence her becoming friends with them.

Also, with regards to 'why would she want to hang out with other boys' - hanging out with other guys isn't an indication that she wants to jump into bed with one or get off with one.

For now, I'd just take it with a pinch of salt, it could be harmless.
If you want to mention it to her, do it casually, don't go in all guns blazing or she'll think you don't trust her at all.

Facebook is the worst.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by dgeorge)
Because being in a relationship doesn't mean that you have to ignore 50% of the worlds population. If you want to totally ignore all women, then that's your perogative. However, I don't think it's reasonable of her to do so. I'm in a relationship, have a few female friends, and have added some myself. Doesn't MEAN I'm interested in them or that they're interested in me. While I won't disagree with you that they MAY be interested in her, its pure speculation at this point and there is also the chance that they may not be interested in her as well. Not every female I've added to my facebook I've wanted to have sex with

I'm not forbidding her to have any male friends, she has plenty back here at home. What I'm annoyed about is that she is out with these guys KNOWING that they are only interested in one thing. Granted it's up to her whether she does anything or not, but drunken mistakes happen. It's the fact that she has met them on holiday that is bothering me.

Also there is another part of the story I have missed out (see below)