he feels guilty all he time
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he feels guilty all he timeso my bf was dumped by his ex of 2 years. there was never really any chemistry between them, whereas we have great chemistry.
a year later he started going out with me.
he constantly brings up his ex in different contexts.
initially it would be to tell me that she was a person who has potential to become 'great' i.e save the world kind of a person and she had an inhuman capacity to be totally selfless, but naturally it irritates me and then he says he doesn't want to be with a messiah.
more often he tells me he feels guilty that she is an orphan and he wonders who will take care of her and what will become of her.
i've told him it's not his responsibility as she dumped him and i reassure him that she will be fine.
he has said he will stop bringing it up because it hurts me. yet he still brings up his guilt from time to time.
when i tell him not to, he says he doesn't want to be with her but he is sharing his feelings that bother him with me.
i don't know what to say to him or how to help him with his guilt. how many times and how many different ways are there of saying 'she will be fine'
sometimes i feel like he says this stuff to get a reaction out of me. i dunno. or maybe people do feel guilty about exes. i don't think about or bring up my exes so i don't really get it.
what do i do? -
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Re: he feels guilty all he timeI think it sounds like he still has a thing for her. Why else would he keep babbling on about her? The idea that he feels "guilty" is nonsense. It's probably more likely that he cares and think about her all the time because he still in love with her.
Even if I'm wrong, he needs to respect you and stop going on about her. -
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He still loves her, hence the guilt and the frequent thoughts about her. Sounds like he isn't ready to be in another relationship as he hadn't gotten over the previous one. You're going to have to decide whether you want to be in this kind of relationship.
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