(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, sorry if this is a bit rambly but I just need some help and advice. I've had depression for years and now i'm 20 and it's getting too much for me. I've been on and off medication since december and now I'm due to start Duloxetine this week, after 2 months antidepressant free. (any advice on Duloxetine would be awesome)
Ever since i've been off them i've had pretty bad anxiety and really sore heads (I thought it was maybe Mirtazapine withdrawal but it's gone on for over a month) and my anxiety is making it really difficult for me.
I feel sick, I can't leave the house some mornings and I keep forgetting things and I am very irritable. Tonight, I have to go out for a meal then drinks. This used to be one of my favourite things to do, to have a night out with my friends but I really really don't want to go. I'm panicking about it already and it's only the afternoon. I won't know many of the people going and I find it hard to make conversation anymore. I also hate eating in front of people and I'm worried about it. There's no way I can bail on it though. I've also been trying not to drink while depressed as it makes me feel 10x worse but I feel like I have to tonight.
This is all getting me down but it's not just tonight, it's always. I've not been at uni for about 5 months and haven't kept in touch with anyone. Cause it's summer, most people are at home and no-one's about as they're either home or working. I feel so alone. I've isolated myself too much and I feel like i've lost all my friends. No-one texts me unless I text them first or if they want something.
My parents get on at me because I have a flat in another town but I'm barely there atm cos i'd be on my own and panic too much. They always complain when i'm at home that i'm paying for a flat i'm not using. But I couldn't stay home for good, I need time to myself sometimes. And that gets me down, it's not like i'm asking them to pay for it and I don't complain about having no spare money or anything.
Sorry this is so long, I just feel horrible like i'm losing everyone I use to be friends with and panicking so much. Hopefully the Duloxetine will help because I have to wait another 6 weeks for my next CMHT appointment, I messed up the last one because I forgot to tell her a lot of stuff.
Any help would be majorly appreciated. Thanks!