[Anonymous]

Okay, so for the past 6 months or so I've been sleeping with this guy. It wasn't like every week, more like every other week? Anyways, he was my first and cos of that I felt myself develop a real soft spot for him. So I'd happily go to his, to do the deed, and whilst doing so I found myself starting to like him, alot. He was very sweet to me and said things like how i'd make a good girlfriend and how i was a lot of fun and we'd always spoon and just fall asleep with each other.
I realised that we could never get into a relationship because I know he's just having fun at the moment and seeing as he wasn't affected by sleeping around, I decided to sleep with 2 other people to try and take my mind off him (dumb and sleazy, i know) but that didn't work, as I didn't feel the attachment to these other guys as I did to him.
I spoke to my friends about it and they said to stop sleeping with him before i get really hurt. Me being the stubborn thing that I am, I ignored the advice and slept with him once more... So after the 'fun' we just lay and chatted like we would every other time, he then brought up that he misses being in a relationship...and then the friendzone bombshell was dropped. He said that he couldn't go out with me because i'm just like one of his friends and it would be weird. Now, I don't know why, but hearing that crushed me. I knew fine well we could never get together but actually hearing it from him was, well, heartbreaking.
I haven't spoke to him since leaving his (we never text unless it's to arrange to go up his house) but since then I've been feeling really, really sad and down, i've cried quite a lot and i feel so stupid about that because it's not like he was ever mine. I've also started having panic attacks again which I haven't had for over a year.....
So in a nutshell, I'm just asking for some advice on how to get over a friend with benefits whom you've fallen for?

[abc101]

You need to tell him how you feel about him. Nothing will make you get over him, but him not knowing exactly how you feel about him will kill you.

[foolscap]

(Original post by Anonymous)
He said that he couldn't go out with me because i'm just like one of his friends and it would be weird.

Yes because you have sex with your friends don't you. I think the friend zone card shouldn't be played if you're having sex with them because you clearly already see them in a different light. Either way he didn't want to take things further so I guess it doesn't matter.

Anyway, it's really not your fault for becoming attached to him, it's very natural.

(Original post by abc101)
You need to tell him how you feel about him. Nothing will make you get over him, but him not knowing exactly how you feel about him will kill you.

Do this, tell him how you feel, if he says he doesn't feel the same, then you will know for certain that you have to move on and will simply need time.

Just don't go back and have sex with him ever again if he says he doesn't want a relationship with you otherwise you'll only dig yourself a bigger hole!

[Anonymous]

Okay, thank you... any ideas on how I can tell him though, like I said the only time we text is if i'm going round his house

[jtnf]

Ask to meet up?

[foolscap]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay, thank you... any ideas on how I can tell him though, like I said the only time we text is if i'm going round his house

Ask to see him, say you need to tell him something, then go round his house. Then just say that you kinda like him, and ask him if he truly see's you as a friend or potentially something more.

[Anonymous]

Okay....thank you!