[Anonymous]

Hi everyone! I'm a little confused at the moment and can't really talk to anyone about it so I thought starting a thread might be useful.

Ok, so I went to a private school and had high expectations, from my parents, teachers and myself. Until about a year ago roughly (I'm 22 now) I thought I was going to get a high flying career, highly paid bla bla bla. I went to a very good university studying history but I didn't enjoy a single moment there and last year, at the beginning of my second year, I decided to drop out. I didn't really have a plan so started looking for any old job and studying long distance.

Now I work full time at, lets face it, a dead end job but with people that I get on much more with than at uni, and I really enjoy playing guitar and developing my musical interests in my spare time. I am getting no where with studying with my long distance course and seriously want to stop doing it (I'm just sick of studying to be honest). However, I am very happy with my job and my hobby, which I hope to start performing my music in the near future.

However, I feel that I shouldn't be happy, that I should feel disappointed. I can tell my parents are perplexed at my seeming lack of direction and can't understand where my ambition has gone. Well, I do have ambition but just not for studying. My mum said that the reason she sent me to a private school was so I would avoid landing in the job that I'm doing now. She won't say that she's disappointed but I know she is. My parents keep saying 'yes but what do you want to do with your life' and I just don't feel that they understand.

I really want to move out as well, maybe houseshare, speak to a few work colleagues about it. I want my own space and feel that living at home is not helping (although it is financially cos I'm not spending as much money. So what should I do? Move out or stay put?

All I can say is that I'm not driven by financial success but have always thought that happiness is equal to financial reward. Can you be poor but happy, which is basically what I would be (poor that is) if I moved out?

Sorry for very long post but thoughts would be very much appreciated

[BethaneyJ]

If you've found your happiness elsewhere then good for you! You seem like you've got a plan going which is also good. Just make sure you've thought fully about what happens in the future if you do stop studying. When the people at work move jobs etc. If you are happy enough with the idea of that then go for it.

Parents only want what is best for you etc but they'll be happy as long as you are (and if not then screw them!).

[somethingbeautiful]

At the moment you sound happy but in 20 to 30 years from now you might wish you'd had a job at 22 which gave you opportunity for career progression. I'm 22 like you, I've just finished my degree and I'm trying to finally work out what I want to do in life. I'm trying to find something with the opportunity for progression so that in 30 years time I'll able to live comfortably. It's just something to bare in mind but obviously if you think you'll be happy this way for the rest of your life then carry on. We all live our lives differently.

[Anonymous]

Your situation is almost the same as mine, except I'm a bit older and I also went to uni and dropped out a few times.

The thing is, you already seem to be getting annoyed (although that may be too strong a word) at your parents for not understanding and thinking you work in a dead end job. As you get older, that will get worse. It won't just be parents, it will be customers (assuming it's retail), friends, new people you meet.

You also say you're happy now, but in a few years you might be fed up and if you've given up on your course you'll have fewer options. Don't drop out. At the very least, work towards some qualification - if you're with the OU, you can get Diplomas and things - and complete that so you have something to show for it and the chance to go back later if you choose to. You might be sick of studying now and need a rest, that's completely understandable, but need for a short term rest shouldn't ruin the rest of your life.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the advice peeps

There is a tension between me and my parents which is becoming worse and is very stiffling. It's a topic that crops up daily so I'm just finding myself working longer or staying in my room so I don't have to talk about it.

By the way I don't work in retail so I don't deal with customers, although its a very challenging job.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Your situation is almost the same as mine, except I'm a bit older and I also went to uni and dropped out a few times.

The thing is, you already seem to be getting annoyed (although that may be too strong a word) at your parents for not understanding and thinking you work in a dead end job. As you get older, that will get worse. It won't just be parents, it will be customers (assuming it's retail), friends, new people you meet.

You also say you're happy now, but in a few years you might be fed up and if you've given up on your course you'll have fewer options. Don't drop out. At the very least, work towards some qualification - if you're with the OU, you can get Diplomas and things - and complete that so you have something to show for it and the chance to go back later if you choose to. You might be sick of studying now and need a rest, that's completely understandable, but need for a short term rest shouldn't ruin the rest of your life.

Can I ask what you are doing now/what you would like to be doing?