[Anonymous]

As the title says, sometimes when I read a book I might become attracted to one of the female characturs. This is really worrying me and causing me some distress. Its okay while I'm reading the book, but when I finish its awful because I can never know anything more about them and they can never respond to me. What can I do. It happens probably with 40% of the books I read, and its a real genuine feeling. Should I stop reading?

[Watch Key Phone]

No! Stopping reading is not the solution to things like this. All you can do is embrace the enjoyment you are getting from experiencing these characters, while reminding yourself that they are idealised people, and they do not really exist. In fact, no-one like them will exist, because book characters (no matter how well written) can never be as complicated as real people. It's common to have a period of adjustment after finishing a really good book, whether that's because the ending was a shock, or you miss the characters, or some other combination of reasons. It's just part of the experience of enjoying reading. Maybe you could join a book club, so you can talk to people about the characters you liked!

[Palatial Veranda]

Not trying to make light of your situation but that's really interesting. I haven't come across or heard of this phenomenon but a basis of such would probably make for a good surreal sketch.

[michaelhaych]

switch to redtube

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Amwazicles)
No! Stopping reading is not the solution to things like this. All you can do is embrace the enjoyment you are getting from experiencing these characters, while reminding yourself that they are idealised people, and they do not really exist. In fact, no-one like them will exist, because book characters (no matter how well written) can never be as complicated as real people. It's common to have a period of adjustment after finishing a really good book, whether that's because the ending was a shock, or you miss the characters, or some other combination of reasons. It's just part of the experience of enjoying reading. Maybe you could join a book club, so you can talk to people about the characters you liked!

Thanks! I really do love books, but its the wave of depression I dread after having finished them, thankfully it doesn't happen all the time.

(Original post by Palatial Veranda)
Not trying to make light of your situation but that's really interesting. I haven't come across or heard of this phenomenon but a basis of such would probably make for a good surreal sketch.

Yes, I can get really attracted to the personalities potrayed in the book. Its never the protagonist though, because the protagonist sort of becomes me (ish), and if the protagonist is female, this phenomenon occurs far less frequently as I don't see myself as the protagonist as much for that reason.

So yes, its usually secondary characters that interact strongly with the protagonist, and are painted by the author as attractive (though this is the least important aspect that determines it I find)

[Anonymous]

(Original post by michaelhaych)
switch to redtube

The appearance really isn't what causes it. I have never for example fallen in love with someone on a TV show.

[BritGirl]

There might be special websites dedicated to the books that allow you to read extra information about the characters (e.g. Pottermore for Harry Potter). Or forums where you can just talk about the characters with other members.
You could also write your own sequals to the books which might stop making you feel depressed

[Sir Fox]

Just out of interest: which characters have you already fallen in love with?

[Anonymous]

(Original post by BritGirl)
There might be special websites dedicated to the books that allow you to read extra information about the characters (e.g. Pottermore for Harry Potter). Or forums where you can just talk about the characters with other members.
You could also write your own sequals to the books which might stop making you feel depressed

Thanks, Ill give it a try

(Original post by Sir Fox)
Just out of interest: which characters have you already fallen in love with?

You see, thats how real it can feel to me. I could no more tell you that, then you could tell me who you fell in love with in real life.

[Sir Fox]

(Original post by Anonymous)
You see, thats how real it can feel to me. I could no more tell you that, then you could tell me who you fell in love with in real life.

Well, that's actually very interesting ... and worrying somehow. I thought as you are posting anonymously you could tell it (you see, curiousity is killing me ) but as this is quite private it's totally okay if you do not

[Pensivedore]

I often feel something similar to what you're describing, though not as intense as falling in love with them. I often feel sort of, in a way, attracted to some male characters in books especially when they're the protagonist, and especially when it's in a 1st person narrative. I vaguely compare them to some of the males in my life, which is stupid and creepy, cause it's like a completely different reality, but I really can't help it.

I'm not really sure how to help you, OP, but I think perhaps it might help if you try and separate the people you read about in books from your reality.