[emilie18]

I've worked in the same clothing store for about 10 months, and I have a feeling that my boss strongly dislikes me.

She's never said anything to my face confirm this feeling, but every now and again I see her giving me an irritated look, she often just looks really unimpressed with everything I do and raises her eyebrows in a way that just seems disapproving. I'm not the only one who finds her intimidating, but I do feel like she has something against me in some way.

I do my job well, I'm fairly intelligent and good with the customers, I sometimes make a mistake but no more than anyone else, I'm always extremely polite around her and work really hard... So I don't really understand.

Just an example - the other day I was standing in between two other staff members, we were all working, she went up to both of them, praised them on working really hard and generating positive customer comments, then looked at me pointedly at walked off. That seemed really bitchy to me!


Any advice or similar experiences?

[emilie18]

Any help greatly appreciated

[scotttb]

tell someone she molested you.

[Irrelevance]

Have sex with her partner. That'll teach the bitch.

But seriously, in the real world women are bitchy to other women and flirty with the male staff. Our old supervisor used to talk **** about how the girls dressed every day and how scruffy they were (the girls looked like they were ready for a night out) and then always said how smart we, the males, were.

People are dicks, basically.

[Millie228]

I knew as soon as I saw the title that you were a girl and your boss was female. This is SO common. I even read a study which showed that most young women reported having problem with a female boss. The problem is even more common if there is a large age gap. Firstly, there is the competition factor and jealousy. Secondly, she may belong to a generation of women who struggled more growing up (financially, or more so due to applying for jobs in a sexist environment). And a lot of these women have an attitude that young girls "must suffer the same way they did".

My first job, part-time in a luxury retail shop, was like that. She was overly critical and I realized that she though I was spoilt and a brat even though I hadn't done anything to prove it. She'd also give me criticism when we had our summer party, in front of all the other employees. I was from a wealthier part of town and she lived on the other end and she clearly had complexes. Her daughter had applied to the same school I went to, but didn't get accepted. I'm sure she talked negatively about me at home, because when her daughter came to work, she'd be all over the other girls working there, throwing hugs around, and ignore me.

It's entirely possible that you can't make her like you. My approach was just to go to work, finish, and go home. I gave up becoming good friends with her.

[hannah_dru]

Well, look at it this way- if she did have something against you, wouldn't she have told you off for something by now?

[scotttb]

(Original post by Junaid96)
Prepare to be negged by people who take a funny comment seriously

I am 154 pounds of serious

[Politricks]

Do you think your boss is jealous of you? Perhaps jealous about the way you look?

[jamboogy]

Take a **** in her breakfast bagel.

[JammyChoos]

She's just being bitchy. You cant do nothing cos she pays your wages however... Just to be on the safe side, start collecting evidence of any discrimination she may have against you, it will come in useful if she decideds to fire you for no reason.

[Dmon1Unlimited]

(Original post by emilie18)
I've worked in the same clothing store for about 10 months, and I have a feeling that my boss strongly dislikes me.

She's never said anything to my face confirm this feeling, but every now and again I see her giving me an irritated look, she often just looks really unimpressed with everything I do and raises her eyebrows in a way that just seems disapproving. I'm not the only one who finds her intimidating, but I do feel like she has something against me in some way.

I do my job well, I'm fairly intelligent and good with the customers, I sometimes make a mistake but no more than anyone else, I'm always extremely polite around her and work really hard... So I don't really understand.

Just an example - the other day I was standing in between two other staff members, we were all working, she went up to both of them, praised them on working really hard and generating positive customer comments, then looked at me pointedly at walked off. That seemed really bitchy to me!


Any advice or similar experiences?

Ask her in a calm, non attacking way?


E.g "hi erm, I was wondering if there was something im doing wrong? Is there anything I can improve on? Sorry, I got the impression you werent happy with my performance. "

[emilie18]

(Original post by Politricks)
Do you think your boss is jealous of you? Perhaps jealous about the way you look?

It's highly unlikely, I'm not really very pretty I actually thought it might be the opposite - as a clothing store we all need to look nice and wear the right clothes, I think maybe she thinks I don't look as good as some of the other girls? I try but I mean some of them could be models and I am really quite plain! But some of the other managers have said I looked nice before so I don't know

[Alex17595]

(Original post by scotttb)
tell someone she molested you.

It would be like the southpark episode

[monk_keys]

She is the manager of a clothes shop, she hates her life.

[BillyBongos]

just be nice and helpful. If you try being somewhat dismissive she will pick up on it, and use yet another thing to hold over you. You still have a job, I would grin and bear it, some people can be horrible. Being obstinate towards your employees just gets poor performance from them, and its a lose lose situation. I agree asking her in a non attacking way, if there is anything that you can improve upon may help, but unfortunately if the woman doesn't like you, there isn't any real thing that you can do about it.

If you are desperate for the job, or there is something in your character that could be considered a weakness then that will show itself to her, and put you in a weaker employee position. However, if you don't give two ****s, and are confident and happy go lucky, and even have other job offers, this will put you in a totally different psychological position, and you will conduct yourself accordingly. Remember that people will only treat you the way that you let them.

[Toaster Leavings]

In my experience of rubbish/incompetent/bullying managers they often tend to pick on quiet people who work the hardest and may lack confidence. They sense that they are conscientious and that they will do what they are told so they feel they can get away with pushing them around or even being insulting. I doubt it is anything to do with your appearance, probably a lack of confidence. Indeed, someone else in your situation, maybe even one of the other girls you work with, may be getting the same treatment but not care about it at all. So, even by posting this thread it suggests a certain desire to be praised and have your confidence lifted by your boss, which most people have but the lower your confidence is the more you are affected by praise or criticism.

I'm not suggesting you slack off as your work ethic will put you in good stead in the future. Instead use the job as an opportunity to learn about dickish behaviour in the workplace while you are young so you can learn how to manipulate and rise above office politics in the future. I highly doubt it is anything wrong with you so don't take it personally, instead just examine her behaviour for your own amusement and avoid feeling self-conscious and carry on working regardless of her weird moods. You're only there for the money, screw her lame attitude, right? If she ends up being really intimidating and bullying then quit or file a claim against her as no one deserves that.

[emilie18]

(Original post by Toaster Leavings)
In my experience of rubbish/incompetent/bullying managers they often tend to pick on quiet people who work the hardest and may lack confidence. They sense that they are conscientious and that they will do what they are told so they feel they can get away with pushing them around or even being insulting. I doubt it is anything to do with your appearance, probably a lack of confidence. Indeed, someone else in your situation, maybe even one of the other girls you work with, may be getting the same treatment but not care about it at all. So, even by posting this thread it suggests a certain desire to be praised and have your confidence lifted by your boss, which most people have but the lower your confidence is the more you are affected by praise or criticism.

I'm not suggesting you slack off as your work ethic will put you in good stead in the future. Instead use the job as an opportunity to learn about dickish behaviour in the workplace while you are young so you can learn how to manipulate and rise above office politics in the future. I highly doubt it is anything wrong with you so don't take it personally, instead just examine her behaviour for your own amusement and avoid feeling self-conscious and carry on working regardless of her weird moods. You're only there for the money, screw her lame attitude, right? If she ends up being really intimidating and bullying then quit or file a claim against her as no one deserves that.

This was so helpful, thank you!
The bit in bold was an eye-opener, I think that's probably how I appear at work, I'll try and be a bit more confidant, but keep my work standards high, hopefully that'll help...!