[Anonymous]

I don't really know what to do any more. My mother has just said that she is 'dissapointed with how I have used my education'. For the record, I am a Cambridge offer holder with 4 A* predictions.

I guess I used to be a very arrogant brat, but honestly, I feel that I have changed rather a lot. I have grown out of it and honestly learnt to be polite. Indeed, many recent school reports [moved school for 6th form] have made note of the fact that I am polite. Yet, my parents never hesitate to keep on bringing up times when I have been rude, bratty and really rather horrible. I just don't know how to make them change the way they think of me?

It's really getting to me and is causing more arguments than I ever want to deal with and it makes me feel as though there is something wrong with me.

Does anyone else get this? Also, how do I deal with it?

As with many children, I have always wanted to make my parents proud and happy with me, but it feels like no matter what I do, I just can't please them. I can get an offer the best university in the world (QS rankings), from the 'best' college (Tompkins table), I can make the (junior) England team for a ('small') sport, I can get grade 8 music... but still they are 'dissapointed'.

[Cressida]

This is really sad. Live for yourself and let go of the emotional or psychological reliance you have attached to their approval. You are intelligent, talented and hard working and that should all be something you take pride in, their approval is not necessary.

Their intentions are good and you will realise they have hopefully done more good than harm. It is pants when your parents don't appreciate you because you are stuck between justifying why you deserve appreciation and feeling as if as parents they deserve this right to behave so.

[Ladyliesel]

[QUOTE=Cressida;38739801]Live for yourself and let go of the emotional or psychological reliance you have attached to their approval.QUOTE]

This. Nobody can be really happy living their life for others. They probably just want the best for you and try to push you to fulfil your potential. We're only human. Whenever you feel bad just remind yourself all your strengths and accomplishments.

[katetaylor]

My parents are the same so I just stopped listening. I know myself, just as you know yourself, and I'm confident that I will be happy in my future. I'm sure with your offer you will too.

So when you are at Cambridge or whatever you end up doing you will know that they were wrong. I don't know why they are being that way with you but the most constructive thing that you can do is commit to proving them wrong. Dwelling will just drag you down.

You are the judge of your own success, not your parents. It's your life and your future, not theirs.

Chin up bro!


This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my HTC Desire C

[TDL]

They're probably proud of you and just want you to excel even more.

[boba]

my parents are happy with whatever I do as long as I'm happy with it. If I dropped out of uni tomorrow and got a job as a cleaner but was completely happy with my life they would be pleased that I was happy. I don't know how I would come with parents like yours to be honest.

I really think you should learn to live for yourself and not worry about pleasing them, but I realise that it is very easy for me to say that but not so much for you to do it. constantly remind yourself with how pleased you are of your accomplishments though and please try not to let them get to you.

[Em_Huong]

I've stopped trying to please my parents years ago, 'tis sad but true. Having Vietnamese parents, they are still (subtlety) comparing me to their friend's children. Unless I all of a sudden become a doctor or lawyer with a high flying career or my own business, with a mortgage on a house, and married with their grandchild on the way; I don't think they will ever be pleased.