[Waterwings101]

So I really just wanted to get some outside opinions on what to do.

Basically, I've been studying in Huddersfield for four years, originally from London. During this time I met my now boyfriend, who is from Huddersfield, and we've been together over a year and are very happy together. I'd go as far as to say that I'm pretty sure I want to be with him forever

My course finally finished in June and my student accommodation runs out next month. I have no money and i'm trying desperately to find a job to stay up here!

However, all my friends and family at home want me to move back, constantly say they miss me (and I miss them too!). My best friend is having a baby and my other best friend is getting married and I really want to be there for them! My dad has also been ill recently and has had heart surgery, which is very worrying.

My plan was always to stay up North, but I can't help but feel that I should just go home and find a job there, as it seems to be what everyone wants and would certainly be the easier option. But I know that if i do, I will miss my boyfriend terribly and it would be problematic for both of us/possibly end us as things always seem to go wrong when we're apart for long periods of time. I can't see how we would ever end up being together, with the distance and him working nights and irregular shift patters, we would rarely be able to talk/visit.

I can't ask my friends/family because they are biased and just want me to come home lol.

So what do you think the best thing to do would be? Be selfish and try to stay up north with my boyfriend and feel really guilty, or move home to be there for friends/family but then risk losing my boyfriend? :/

Thanks for the help

[I love shopping]

This sounds like a tough situation.

Is your boyfriend the only reason you want to stay up North? If so, you need to think very hard and decide whether or not he is worth giving up being close to your family and friends. Would you be willing to give up all that for him? It's ultimately up to you, so don't let anyone pressure you into making a decision.

Good luck!

[Bee3011]

Awww... thats really bad...
Just sit down and try to relax and think things through and choose your priorities...
So if your bf is your priority then stay up north but if you feel like you want to be with your family then go to them...
You can also go to LOndon to your family for a couple of months while still looking for a job in Huddersfield and then move back when you have spent some time with your family.
and if your BF loves you as much as you do... he wouldnt mind if you spent a couple of months with your family and if you guys stayed in touch at all times...

Hope it gets sorted <3

[Juichiro]

(Original post by Waterwings101)
So I really just wanted to get some outside opinions on what to do.

Basically, I've been studying in Huddersfield for four years, originally from London. During this time I met my now boyfriend, who is from Huddersfield, and we've been together over a year and are very happy together. I'd go as far as to say that I'm pretty sure I want to be with him forever

My course finally finished in June and my student accommodation runs out next month. I have no money and i'm trying desperately to find a job to stay up here!

However, all my friends and family at home want me to move back, constantly say they miss me (and I miss them too!). My best friend is having a baby and my other best friend is getting married and I really want to be there for them! My dad has also been ill recently and has had heart surgery, which is very worrying.

My plan was always to stay up North, but I can't help but feel that I should just go home and find a job there, as it seems to be what everyone wants and would certainly be the easier option. But I know that if i do, I will miss my boyfriend terribly and it would be problematic for both of us/possibly end us as things always seem to go wrong when we're apart for long periods of time. I can't see how we would ever end up being together, with the distance and him working nights and irregular shift patters, we would rarely be able to talk/visit.

I can't ask my friends/family because they are biased and just want me to come home lol.

So what do you think the best thing to do would be? Be selfish and try to stay up north with my boyfriend and feel really guilty, or move home to be there for friends/family but then risk losing my boyfriend? :/

Thanks for the help

You mean until either you or him dies, right?

[pinkthing85]

Even if you stay up nortin Huddersfield you can still visit your family they in the same country lol plus am a Yorkshire pudding up north rocks ha ha

[Waterwings101]

Thanks for your comments guys!

My boyfriend isn't the only reason i'd stay in Hudds, i've got a few friends sticking around and I like the area and my independence but I feel like i'm being drawn more to the south, what with my family and friends down there having babies/getting married as it's stuff I really don't want to miss out on. I phoned my pregnant best friend from home yesterday and it made me really miss her and realise how much I want to be around to help out when the baby arrives. I guess I just wasn't expecting everyone to finish uni and move back home..I kinda thought they'd all disperse around the country but they haven't and in comparison to the home friends, I don't really have friends i'm that close to up here. They're more friends I would go on a night out/cinema with but not actually go and hang out round each others' houses and often I feel quite lonely up here because of that.

I made a pros/cons list today to try and decide and South won. Despite offering me to stay in his room for free until I find a job, my boyfriend is actually telling me now that he thinks i'd be happier and better off going home..which is really big of him because I know he doesn't want me to go :/

I've packed up half of my things and I have to be out of my flat by this weekend, but i'm still undecided as to whether i'm going home or just across to my bf's! I keep wavering!

[Bee3011]

(Original post by Waterwings101)
Thanks for your comments guys!

My boyfriend isn't the only reason i'd stay in Hudds, i've got a few friends sticking around and I like the area and my independence but I feel like i'm being drawn more to the south, what with my family and friends down there having babies/getting married as it's stuff I really don't want to miss out on. I phoned my pregnant best friend from home yesterday and it made me really miss her and realise how much I want to be around to help out when the baby arrives. I guess I just wasn't expecting everyone to finish uni and move back home..I kinda thought they'd all disperse around the country but they haven't and in comparison to the home friends, I don't really have friends i'm that close to up here. They're more friends I would go on a night out/cinema with but not actually go and hang out round each others' houses and often I feel quite lonely up here because of that.

I made a pros/cons list today to try and decide and South won. Despite offering me to stay in his room for free until I find a job, my boyfriend is actually telling me now that he thinks i'd be happier and better off going home..which is really big of him because I know he doesn't want me to go :/

I've packed up half of my things and I have to be out of my flat by this weekend, but i'm still undecided as to whether i'm going home or just across to my bf's! I keep wavering!

Now that you have packed and even your bf thinks that you will be happier down south then you shouldn't waver and just go :-)
Good luck

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my LT26i

[JoannaMilano]

Can your boyfriend not move down South, or is his career and life fixed in the North? London does have a lot of job opportunities in most fields. Have you raised that idea with him?