[Coco-Berry Drop]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and he means a lot to me but there are some aspects that I don't like. Obviously I know there will always be some things that aren't to your preference, I'm sure he doesn't like some things about me either.

But for me these are pretty big things I think and I'm a little puzzled about what to do, because ideally the person I'm with wouldn't have these things.

The main problem is he is too competitive in everything, he doesn't care about being alpha male but when it comes to anything that involves an element of competition he turns into a different person. Even things like academics at uni, obviously sports, but also trivial stuff like gaming or winning insignificant debates.

He just takes it and himself too seriously in those times and if he ever doesn't win he just gets really angry. He's not a bad loser but he just feels disappointed in himself and his mood is ruined for the day.

Is this normal for most guys nowadays? Has anybody been with somebody like that, how have you dealt with it?

[Chewyy]

I went out with my ex for 2 years and when we started going out he was a nice enough, average guy. Towards the end of the relationship, he started turning into a 'lad.' Everything became a competition for him, whether it was drinking, becoming 'built', academics. He even started objectifying me in front of his friends and slapping my arse to make himself seem 'manly.'

For him I honestly think it was a case of trying to overcompensate. He wasn't the most popular before, he was fat, went to an average school and he kind of decided 'I want to be something more.' For me, this wasn't the boy I fell in love with so I broke it off.

If it's just a phase I would say to try and stick it out, but if he's always been like that or you think he will be for a long time, talk to him about it because your feelings for it probably won't get better.

[Laomedeia]

Nothing wrong with being an athlete is there?

[Cephalus]

(Original post by Laomedeia)
Nothing wrong with being an athlete is there?

Listen to what she says before jumping in. It might help.

[Rationalist1]

Being competitive is normal to most guys, there is no harm done in a little competition... Besides am sure his competiveness doesn't really affect your relationship? Does it ?

[Aisha~~]

Can't really speak for every guy that's competitive, but personally, I ****ing hate the idea of being average. I can't find any positive in being "an average person". So it's pretty much in my blood to do well at anything in life. Mediocrity is boring.

[Krish4791]

I think this sounds pretty normal - it's not always good to be overly competitive in everything, but I can understand being competitive in academics and sports as most of us are. You'll find most men to be like that; it's just to do with the way we're 'wired', the kind of environment we're brought up in,etc. Personally,when it comes to academics and sports, I am not a fan of mediocrity at all (I have Asian relatives) and dislike coming anywhere outside the top 3 (just like the person above me) or "losing and mo". At the same time, one has to learn to accept losses when the happen and move on. Basically, I would say to let your man be competitive but point it out to him if he's gone overboard or is being unnecessarily silly and don't let this affect your relationship.

[FrostyLemon]

When lads are over competitive with each other I think it usually shows insecurity. When I go rock climbing, five or six guys will get around in a big circle and see how many push ups they can do. Then shout and congratulate each other on their manliness. None of them have gfs. All a bit cringe worthy, I just get on with the climbing.

[g36c]

being competitive is good in life. thats how we improve

dont listen to the modern idea that everyones a winner and equal..ffs

[amyshamblesxx]

I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that he's competitive, it shows he has determination and drive. There are much worse traits he could have, like being a woman-beater or a rapist.