[Matt999]

Is this a good idea? I'm wondering because a girls gone cold on me after she seemed really interested. I may have slightly scared her off by saying I liked her but I didn't intend to. Just after some fun at this stage like I think she is but it might of come across as me wanting more. Shall I text or call her? Maybe ask her in person instead? Cheers

[scott202]

Just leave her alone for a while.. If she's interested she'll come to you.

[Millie228]

What do you mean by "gone cold"? Has she turned you down?
If she hasn't, ask her out again. She will say yes or no.

[Matt999]

No she hasnt turned me down. Met her 3 weeks ago. We were getting very intimate on our first meeting where she came back to mine. Second meeting had meal out and a drink. we slept together and she stayed at mine. She works right next to where I live. She seemed to have high interest by saying things we could do on future dates. I made her dinner the other night at my place. Her body language seemed more closed but think she was waiting for me to initiate a move I.e a kiss. Ended up making out and half sleeping together. I eventually couldn't perform nerves etc. she said she wasn't bothered and that there's plenty of time. Here I said I liked her and it had nothing to do with her. She suggested going cinema in the week. Asked her and she now had plans and was working late. Started taking ages to text back. Playing hard to get maybe. Didn't text for a day. Text her today saying hope you're enjoying your weekend and she replied saying how are you. Might be over analysing too much. Should i ask her want she wants and where she wants it to go? Any advice.

[Foo.mp3]

Rule #1: Never ask

[hali0112]

(Original post by Matt999)
No she hasnt turned me down. Met her 3 weeks ago. We were getting very intimate on our first meeting where she came back to mine. Second meeting had meal out and a drink. we slept together and she stayed at mine. She works right next to where I live. She seemed to have high interest by saying things we could do on future dates. I made her dinner the other night at my place. Her body language seemed more closed but think she was waiting for me to initiate a move I.e a kiss. Ended up making out and half sleeping together. I eventually couldn't perform nerves etc. she said she wasn't bothered and that there's plenty of time. Here I said I liked her and it had nothing to do with her. She suggested going cinema in the week. Asked her and she now had plans and was working late. Started taking ages to text back. Playing hard to get maybe. Didn't text for a day. Text her today saying hope you're enjoying your weekend and she replied saying how are you. Might be over analysing too much. Should i ask her want she wants and where she wants it to go? Any advice.

When she said she has plans, did she try and suggest another time to meet? Are her texts shorter than they were before? You said you didn't text for a day, was that normal before you said how you felt? The fact that she said how are you is a positive sign. she won't have been trying to maintain a conversation if she wasn't interested. Don't ask her what she wants. It is still too early. That could be seen as pushy and she might feel cornered and uncomfortable and pressured. It's still early days and at this point you should just see what happens and take it each day at a time. Give her space. Maybe she has been busy and had work. Maybe she has other things going on that have kept her from replying promptly. You've asked her once already. Maybe just keep your texts light, casual and conversational and not pressure her into another date and see what happens.

[Matt999]

Well we did end up going to the cinema like she suggested. I text her a bit at the weekend which she replied to I replied and she never replied. The next day she text me saying sorry for the late and asked when I was free this week. We arranged to go cinema like she suggested so she didnt go back on it. Had a meal before at it went well. She was acting interested again. We held hands after the cinema for a bit. She had to go home after the film because it was late and had an early start. Text me later saying sorry I couldn't come back to yours it was just that I'm up early and tired. Said she would defo catch me again.

Now she's gone cold again! For example the next day she text me asking how my day is I would reply and I would get no reply. Why is she doing this? Is she just keeping me on my toes. She's just confusing me a bit. I think she does like me but she is giving me these mixed signals.

[systeric]

(Original post by Matt999)
Well we did end up going to the cinema like she suggested. I text her a bit at the weekend which she replied to I replied and she never replied. The next day she text me saying sorry for the late and asked when I was free this week. We arranged to go cinema like she suggested so she didnt go back on it. Had a meal before at it went well. She was acting interested again. We held hands after the cinema for a bit. She had to go home after the film because it was late and had an early start. Text me later saying sorry I couldn't come back to yours it was just that I'm up early and tired. Said she would defo catch me again.

Now she's gone cold again! For example the next day she text me asking how my day is I would reply and I would get no reply. Why is she doing this? Is she just keeping me on my toes. She's just confusing me a bit. I think she does like me but she is giving me these mixed signals.

She sounds really irritating mate. It does look like she is quite interested but still, you're putting in more here than she is. I'd cut that out if you can. Don't be afraid to ignore one or two of her messages or at least reply when it suits you. Hopefully she'll panic that she's losing you and then shape up a bit.

[Matt999]

Yeah it is a bit weird. She seemed to be quite distant last weekend and then all of a sudden wanted to see me and was saying she's missed cuddles from me lol. She even pre booked the film tickets. But now no texts at all. I know she's busy this weekend but surely she could at least text. She's either making me chase her to see how much I'm interested or just making me wait. Reckon I should ask her about this jokingly or just leave it?

[Rock Fan]

Surely no harm in asking on the next date, otherwise you won't know. Maybe she's feeling the same but just too scared to ask.

[PrincePauper]

Dont ask her if she wants marriage

[Matt999]

Lol prince pauper. Ok I won't haha. No but seriously don't know what she's doing. Not heard from her in 2 days. Ok she could be busy and i might be over thinking. I'm starting to think she could be seeing someone else anyway or still has feelings for an ex. Just that gut instinct that something isn't quite right.
I mean it's not hard to send a text. Maybe she doesn't want to seem to keen though but I'm not sure.

[Millie228]

Call more, text less. It's easier to spot someone's interest via voice and you don't have to wait for a reply. It also shows that you're a type of guy who is serious and not interested in wasting your time waiting around for a reply.
She might be unsure of your sincere interest or she might be drifting if she's lost interest herself. Either way, you probably need to take charge. If she is like me, and 90% of women, she wants a guy who takes lead. Who sets up a date, chooses the venue and time, takes her out and leans in to kiss her when he wants to. Whenever a guy is acting flaky, is texting but never calls, I question how serious he is about me. It's very easy to pretend to like someone over text - it requires little effort.

[Anonymous]

Yeah you're right and I totally agree. Just that it's not as if I haven't taken charge at all. I've arranged 3 of our dates. Maybe I need to be a bit more assertive with the kissing perhaps and just do it rather than think about it too much.
Ive read a lot of conflicting things about texting or calling. Some say calling is too intrusive while others say it's more personal.
So I should just call her more now?

I know she's been away for the weekend and shes probably busy but she text me the day after the cinema saying she's seen me working at work where I playfully called her a stalker. She asked me how I was and I asked if she was havin a busy day and I've not heard from her in 2 days.
Also sent her a quick text the day after saying enjoy your weekend and still nothing. Just don't understand it after she seems into me when we meet.

[sophieelis]

From what you've said, it sounds like she is weaning you off her gradually, as if she doesn't want to turn you down straight but she is doing it in a way where she makes herself seem not worthy of being chasing after because she doesn't want to hurt you perhaps.

[Anonymous]

She text me this morning saying her phones been playing up all weekend until now and said hope I catch you soon. Work that out. Could be true I suppose

[Matt999]

I'm not going to keep going on now but it does irritate me. My mate says she is messing me about now. I replied to her last night after I finished work. Asked how she was and hope she had a good weekend and hope her phone was sorted out. No response last night or today yet. She did say it was playing up until she text me earlier on so she could of replied.
However I did say when I last saw her that I would arrange our next meet so she could be waiting for me to initiate. She said to let her know when I'm free as well.
Think I will ditch her off though if shes not already trying to now if she can't reply. Messing me about haha