[Anonymous]

I've known this girl for a three months. I knew from conversation that she had a boyfriend so I never tried anything with her even though I was attracted to her almost instantly. We became really good friends, but I know she's having trouble in her relationship, and wants to break up with her boyfriend of five years, but they live together and are in the same tight social circle, and it seems like she's waiting until they both graduate later this year. I've met her boyfriend, and he's a really nice guy, and she only ever has positive things to say about him.

Turns out she slept with a mutual friend, most likely while high on drugs/alcohol. We've been having feelings for eachtother recently but I'm not sure if I should take it any further because it seems retarded to start anything with someone you know for sure cheated in the past.

She's 26. I've heard through the grapevine that he was her first boyfriend but this is not confirmed. They moved in with eachtother after two years and have lived together for three. Normally it would be a no-brainer, but she has such an amazing personality, I've never met anyone like her in all my 23 years. She's so much fun to be around, and comes off as such a genuine, nice, down to earth girl. I would never have figured she would be a cheater. I know for sure she's interested in me because she told a mutual friend with a big mouth, but it seems like a bad idea to get involved with someone like that. I went though a major break up last year and spent a good deal of it crying myself to sleep, I couldn't how much worse being cheated on would be.

What would you advise? Thanks for any advice!

[bloodtobleed]

Steer clear. I found out after I split with my ex that she'd cheated on her bf before me. We split because she cheated on me. They're bad news.

[ToastyCoke]

Boyfriend of 5 years and shags about? You high mate? Steer clear.

My ex of 2 years told me she'd broken up with her ex because he slept about loads - turns out it was the opposite. And that's the reason we broke up too.

If you want huge heartbreak in the future, go for it.

[Rock Fan]

I personally wouldn't go with a girl who has cheated in the past

[Teofilo]

I'll swim against the tide and say give her a chance.

It's easy to point blank dismiss anyone who has cheated or done something stupid, but without knowing the circumstances etc it seems a bit presumptuous to me.

[bloodtobleed]

(Original post by Teofilo)
It's easy to point blank dismiss anyone who has cheated or done something stupid, but without knowing the circumstances etc it seems a bit presumptuous to me.

True... maybe she slipped and fell on the other guys dick.

[yennibubs]

(Original post by Teofilo)
I'll swim against the tide and say give her a chance.

It's easy to point blank dismiss anyone who has cheated or done something stupid, but without knowing the circumstances etc it seems a bit presumptuous to me.

I agree.

Plus there are a lot of people who have cheated in the past... and some would decide to never tell you and make you think they've never cheated so you'll be with them. I believe the ones who lie about it are worse than the ones who are open about it to their partner before getting together and put effort into never cheating again. Sometimes you'll just never find out.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-I9300

[Rock Fan]

(Original post by bloodtobleed)
True... maybe she slipped and fell on the other guys dick.

or maybe she sat down not realised he was sat there as well and his dick accidently flopped out his shorts

[dgeorge]

I would. As another poster has said, it's EASY to point blank dismiss people. However, real life isn't that cut and dry. People make mistakes ALL THE TIME, people do dumb things ALL THE TIME, but that doesn't mean that they should not be given another chance in the future, provided they have shown clear intent not to repeat said behaviour or mistakes

[ct2k7]

(Original post by dgeorge)
I would. As another poster has said, it's EASY to point blank dismiss people. However, real life isn't that cut and dry. People make mistakes ALL THE TIME, people do dumb things ALL THE TIME, but that doesn't mean that they should not be given another chance in the future, provided they have shown clear intent not to repeat said behaviour or mistakes

I wouldn't say cheating is a mistake, it's a decision.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[superduper9]

Avoid this for 2 reasons: 1. despite what you may have heard etc, she STILL is with her current boyfriend and you cannot make a move or start to put ideas in her head while they are together. This would be wrong on your part and may make you feel guilty and the other guy miserable. 2. if she has cheated when with a long term bf, then its a not a good sign and although it may be a mistake / choice whatever you want to call it, it still is a break of trust. Well that would be my view anyway. Dont worry, shes not the only "genuine, nice, down to earth girl", there are many out there! Trust me, I've seen them! Just have to be patient!

[Foo.mp3]

With respect, seems pretty clear to me that guys that cry themselves to sleep over girls should avoid known cheats, especially where said cheat appears to cheat in a healthy relationship!

[Vikki1805]

I wouldn't date a cheater, it's almost asking for trouble.

[Studentus-anonymous]

(Original post by bloodtobleed)
True... maybe she slipped and fell on the other guys dick.

Lol this.

She is a cheat, sorry but you can't accidentally **** someone.


Really though I'm pretty forgiving but I'm against people trying to make cheating 'not a big deal' so give her a chance.

Cheating is a big deal, it is betrayal of the most respectless variety.

Cheating isn't a mistake it's intentional, like has been said, you cannot accidentally sleep with someone.


OP also take her off the pedestal and get your sense back mate, I know sometimes it's easy to lose perspective around a girl you fancy but you need to be stronger than that.

[Alpharius]

Definitely not.

I've been cheated on before, don't know if she'd cheated before me, but if I found out a girl had cheated on a previous boyfriend, I wouldn't touch them with a ****ty stick.

You'll just end up crying yourself to sleep in the near future when she cheats on you.

[Mockery]

I would but it'd remain completely casual, it'd be strictly on my own terms and there shall be none of these 'feelings' being thrown around.

Getting emotionally attached to someone who has cheated before is like trusting a thief to watch your bags for two minutes.

[dgeorge]

(Original post by ct2k7)
I wouldn't say cheating is a mistake, it's a decision.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Can say the same thing for any mistake.

People aren't perfect. Personally, I wouldn't hold it against them

[dgeorge]

(Original post by Mockery)
I would but it'd remain completely casual, it'd be strictly on my own terms and there shall be none of these 'feelings' being thrown around.

Getting emotionally attached to someone who has cheated before is like trusting a thief to watch your bags for two minutes.

See this is what I don't understand. How can you label someone for one act that they've committed?

I know lots of people who have nicked small things from the grocery shops. That doesn't make them a "thief"

Likewise, I know people who have been in fights. That doesn't make them aggressive lunkheads.

Labelling someone off of ONE action is ridiculous.

However, if you said to me that the person was a SERIAL cheater, or a SERIAL thief, then I would have a different opinion.

But to label someone after committing one act is simplistic and shallow, IMHO

[Mishmashmoo]

It depends if she just cheated because she couldn't say no. I'm of the opinion that in most cases cheating once doesn't always make you a cheater, there could have been mitigating circumstances.

[Dirac Delta Function]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I've known this girl for a three months. I knew from conversation that she had a boyfriend so I never tried anything with her even though I was attracted to her almost instantly. We became really good friends, but I know she's having trouble in her relationship, and wants to break up with her boyfriend of five years, but they live together and are in the same tight social circle, and it seems like she's waiting until they both graduate later this year. I've met her boyfriend, and he's a really nice guy, and she only ever has positive things to say about him.

Turns out she slept with a mutual friend, most likely while high on drugs/alcohol. We've been having feelings for eachtother recently but I'm not sure if I should take it any further because it seems retarded to start anything with someone you know for sure cheated in the past.

She's 26. I've heard through the grapevine that he was her first boyfriend but this is not confirmed. They moved in with eachtother after two years and have lived together for three. Normally it would be a no-brainer, but she has such an amazing personality, I've never met anyone like her in all my 23 years. She's so much fun to be around, and comes off as such a genuine, nice, down to earth girl. I would never have figured she would be a cheater. I know for sure she's interested in me because she told a mutual friend with a big mouth, but it seems like a bad idea to get involved with someone like that. I went though a major break up last year and spent a good deal of it crying myself to sleep, I couldn't how much worse being cheated on would be.

What would you advise? Thanks for any advice!

You cannot judge whether someone is a cheat based on how they come across. It's very typical for men whose partner cheated to have never thought it possible.

Avoid her like the plague.