[Anonymous]

I broke up with my boyfriend few months ago. We had some moments together few weeks ago but now we don't talk anymore at all. Any ways to forget or spend my time and not remember him? I can't stand it and i think of him every day, stuff we used to do together and i always wonder what he could be doing right now... And the hardest part is that i don't talk about it to anyone 'cause i dont have close friends to talk about this and i feel so alone... it's more like silent pain and it feels like i'm going crazy. What can i do to forget him?

[superduper9]

Getting over a long term boyfriend/girlfriend is really difficult. I found it very tough when I broke up with my girlfriend too and like you, I used to keep thinking about her for ages, wondering what she may be up to. The fact that she lived quite close to me didn't help either. So I would be afraid of running into her and not knowing what to say.

But with time it gets better and easier. It is good to talk to someone. This took me a while to do, a good few months infact. But when I got it off my chest, it felt a whole lot better. It doesn't matter who you tell, as long as its someone who is listening! Trust me, you will get over him and meet someone really nice very soon. When you do, these memories won't keep coming back and you'll move on. Best thing to do is to distract yourself for the time being - take up something new or do something you really like that doesn't remind him of you. Important thing is to be patient and give it time. Best of luck and keep smiling!

[Anonymous]

(Original post by superduper9)
Getting over a long term boyfriend/girlfriend is really difficult. I found it very tough when I broke up with my girlfriend too and like you, I used to keep thinking about her for ages, wondering what she may be up to. The fact that she lived quite close to me didn't help either. So I would be afraid of running into her and not knowing what to say.

But with time it gets better and easier. It is good to talk to someone. This took me a while to do, a good few months infact. But when I got it off my chest, it felt a whole lot better. It doesn't matter who you tell, as long as its someone who is listening! Trust me, you will get over him and meet someone really nice very soon. When you do, these memories won't keep coming back and you'll move on. Best thing to do is to distract yourself for the time being - take up something new or do something you really like that doesn't remind him of you. Important thing is to be patient and give it time. Best of luck and keep smiling!

Thanks for your help! That's what i do i'm trying to distract myself but it's really weird because we did so many stuff together that everything i do or wherever i go reminds me of him. Sometimes it's hard to just forget it because he lives far away and we have no common friends so i have no way to see if he's ok. And this is what i care about the most i want him to be ok and it's like torture not to know. Thanks though that's why i made this post because i have no one to talk to so it's nice to know other people understand

[LavenderBlueSky88]

It's gonna take longer than a few months. Set yourself some sort of goal (when I broke up with my ex I decided to knit a scarf - wtf - and liked the fact that by the time I would have finished the scarf I probably wouldn't be so sad). Could you get involved in anything sociable? Maybe learn a new skill? I found that small life changes helped me to move on, as I was becoming a 'new' person...not the person my ex used to be with.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by LavenderBlueSky88)
It's gonna take longer than a few months. Set yourself some sort of goal (when I broke up with my ex I decided to knit a scarf - wtf - and liked the fact that by the time I would have finished the scarf I probably wouldn't be so sad). Could you get involved in anything sociable? Maybe learn a new skill? I found that small life changes helped me to move on, as I was becoming a 'new' person...not the person my ex used to be with.

Yeah i've thought about trying to do new stuff. I already started.. i'm gonna work on the radio which i've never done b4 and i'll go and start rowing in few weeks. Hopefully it's gonna work

[Anonymous]

It just takes time and you'll slowly feel better. I went through the same thing and it did get easier as time went on, maybe do what she said ^ ? learn new skills?

It took me a few months to start feeling better but in the end I realised I couldn't get fully over him and tried to get him back. But time did make it easier!

anon or delete please, he is on TSR

[superduper9]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for your help! That's what i do i'm trying to distract myself but it's really weird because we did so many stuff together that everything i do or wherever i go reminds me of him. Sometimes it's hard to just forget it because he lives far away and we have no common friends so i have no way to see if he's ok. And this is what i care about the most i want him to be ok and it's like torture not to know. Thanks though that's why i made this post because i have no one to talk to so it's nice to know other people understand

I know how you feel. Its perhaps good in a way that you can't get in touch easily because if they're close, there is a temptation to contact them, start talking to them again and then it becomes really difficult if they start moving on, i.e. start seeing other people. (Have to say thats what kinda happened initially in my case). He's probably finding it tough like you but the best thing right now is to just focus on you - make sure you're happy, healthy and feeling well! The radio thing sounds really cool! It will definitely give you an opportunity to start having fun and get involved in a new environment! You're most welcome! I'm glad my heart ache from couple of years ago could help someone! If you want to talk, you can pm me anytime

[Anonymous]

(Original post by superduper9)
I know how you feel. Its perhaps good in a way that you can't get in touch easily because if they're close, there is a temptation to contact them, start talking to them again and then it becomes really difficult if they start moving on, i.e. start seeing other people. (Have to say thats what kinda happened initially in my case). He's probably finding it tough like you but the best thing right now is to just focus on you - make sure you're happy, healthy and feeling well! The radio thing sounds really cool! It will definitely give you an opportunity to start having fun and get involved in a new environment! You're most welcome! I'm glad my heart ache from couple of years ago could help someone! If you want to talk, you can pm me anytime

I don't really know if he finds it difficult.. but i'm DYING to know... i'm tempted every day to talk to him again but i know i shouldn't and it makes me go crazy.. i guess you're right maybe it's good he's not here.. Him missing was always a problem.. maybe now it works for the good thing.. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

This is probably going to sound weird but when I was going through a bad break up, I spent A LOT of time reading about serial killers/wars/murderers on Wikipedia. It really took my mind off things and as I didn't want to read about anything that would remotely involve love or romance, reading about that stuff was a pretty safe bet. Plus I found it really interesting.

Ok I realise how weird this sounds now so I'm gonna post anon.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Anonymous)
This is probably going to sound weird but when I was going through a bad break up, I spent A LOT of time reading about serial killers/wars/murderers on Wikipedia. It really took my mind off things and as I didn't want to read about anything that would remotely involve love or romance, reading about that stuff was a pretty safe bet. Plus I found it really interesting.

Ok I realise how weird this sounds now so I'm gonna post anon.

Reading helps... lately i read a lot of comics.. like donald and scrooge and stuff... It's not that weird! As long as it kept your mind busy..

[LavenderBlueSky88]

(Original post by Anonymous)
This is probably going to sound weird but when I was going through a bad break up, I spent A LOT of time reading about serial killers/wars/murderers on Wikipedia. It really took my mind off things and as I didn't want to read about anything that would remotely involve love or romance, reading about that stuff was a pretty safe bet. Plus I found it really interesting.

Ok I realise how weird this sounds now so I'm gonna post anon.

Haha, it's not weird - I do this from time to time and I'm not going through a bad anything! Or maybe that makes me really weird...I don't know.

[SillyMilly]

I feel sososo much for you it is the most painful long winded process you will ever go for. But I promise YOU WILL get through it although it doesnt feel like it. For me when my ex left me It was all tears and sleepless nights for the first few weeks and if im honest thats not When its bad because it hasnt really sunk in, I had my friends taking me out keeping me occupied telling me he wasnt worth it, I had my family trying to cheer me up and people were willing to listen to me talk about him and be a shoulder to cry on and made a massive effort with me.


What was the worst and most painful point was when my friends and family got fed up of me still being heartbroken and I was told to snap out of it that was when I felt most alone and my heaed went into overdrive, Id cry myself to sleep every night Id think of all the good bits like when he took me to my favourite film, when he cooked me dinner when he told me he loved me when he asked me out blah blah you need to try think of all the bad points. Everything would remind me of him songs, food it was absurd even if a guy walked past with the same afershave as him I wanted to cry. I too felt like I was going absoloutly bonkers I was on the verge of going to the doctors and saying I think something is wrong with me because 6 months down the line I was heartbrokne.

However there were 2 reasons I virtually could not get over him

1) I kept in contact, for me it was the last line I had for him it was the only connection i had and I was to scared to let go, I kept him on facebook because stupidly when I went out I wanted him too see to like show him I moved on, of course it was obvious I was doing it for show and thus hadnt moved on. Even worse was I had to see photos of him dating and being happy with the women he left me for. I spoke to him becuase I thought it would make him miss me or want me back, of course it didnt it only made me feel more rejected, he also text me and sometimes told me he missed me and in my darkest moments I held on to that but actually he just wanted some no strings sex

2) I wouldnt let myself get over him, obviously be sad, cry be angry , miss him be in despair this is alll all normal but once yove had your few months of these emotions you jusst have to let go. I wouldnt get on with my life I wouldnt date or like guys I literally dumped my self in a hole of self pity and sorrorw and refused to get out of it, I thought I would be alone froever. As soon as I was proactive and thought why should i waste my life over somebody who clearly couldnt care if I was dead or aliv, my best revenge was to be better than him in every single aspect of life im not saying do that but thats what I threw myself into to get me over him, whether its sports, going out with friends working longer hours



After nearly a whole entire year im over him, it wont take you this long but there must be a time when you tell yourself you must get over him and go and make something of yourself. Its bloody hard and reading this advice wont seem to help now but I hope in 3 months time you can not care about him or what he thinks, keep him out of your life.; Sometimes my ex tries to ring me and I can happily reject the call without batting an eylid or even caring what it was he had to say, I feel upset sometimes but it doesnt rule my life and I would feel upset for r5 minutes the rest of the time I finally feel free and rid of the horrible breakup feeling

[Anonymous]

(Original post by SillyMilly)
I feel sososo much for you it is the most painful long winded process you will ever go for. But I promise YOU WILL get through it although it doesnt feel like it. For me when my ex left me It was all tears and sleepless nights for the first few weeks and if im honest thats not When its bad because it hasnt really sunk in, I had my friends taking me out keeping me occupied telling me he wasnt worth it, I had my family trying to cheer me up and people were willing to listen to me talk about him and be a shoulder to cry on and made a massive effort with me.


What was the worst and most painful point was when my friends and family got fed up of me still being heartbroken and I was told to snap out of it that was when I felt most alone and my heaed went into overdrive, Id cry myself to sleep every night Id think of all the good bits like when he took me to my favourite film, when he cooked me dinner when he told me he loved me when he asked me out blah blah you need to try think of all the bad points. Everything would remind me of him songs, food it was absurd even if a guy walked past with the same afershave as him I wanted to cry. I too felt like I was going absoloutly bonkers I was on the verge of going to the doctors and saying I think something is wrong with me because 6 months down the line I was heartbrokne.

However there were 2 reasons I virtually could not get over him

1) I kept in contact, for me it was the last line I had for him it was the only connection i had and I was to scared to let go, I kept him on facebook because stupidly when I went out I wanted him too see to like show him I moved on, of course it was obvious I was doing it for show and thus hadnt moved on. Even worse was I had to see photos of him dating and being happy with the women he left me for. I spoke to him becuase I thought it would make him miss me or want me back, of course it didnt it only made me feel more rejected, he also text me and sometimes told me he missed me and in my darkest moments I held on to that but actually he just wanted some no strings sex

2) I wouldnt let myself get over him, obviously be sad, cry be angry , miss him be in despair this is alll all normal but once yove had your few months of these emotions you jusst have to let go. I wouldnt get on with my life I wouldnt date or like guys I literally dumped my self in a hole of self pity and sorrorw and refused to get out of it, I thought I would be alone froever. As soon as I was proactive and thought why should i waste my life over somebody who clearly couldnt care if I was dead or aliv, my best revenge was to be better than him in every single aspect of life im not saying do that but thats what I threw myself into to get me over him, whether its sports, going out with friends working longer hours



After nearly a whole entire year im over him, it wont take you this long but there must be a time when you tell yourself you must get over him and go and make something of yourself. Its bloody hard and reading this advice wont seem to help now but I hope in 3 months time you can not care about him or what he thinks, keep him out of your life.; Sometimes my ex tries to ring me and I can happily reject the call without batting an eylid or even caring what it was he had to say, I feel upset sometimes but it doesnt rule my life and I would feel upset for r5 minutes the rest of the time I finally feel free and rid of the horrible breakup feeling

i get what you're talking about. Surely the feeling of being dumped or rejected is really bad. And it seemed you really couldn't accept what happened. Maybe it was because you still had hopes you'd get him back or because you WANTED to stay there and wait for him. I think that everything happens based on what we really want. For example i feel like this for this guy because i kind of want to still love him because i think he's worth it. The bad thing though is that i broke up with him because i couldn't stand the distance.. he lives in another country and i lasted 1.5 years but i couldn't stand more.. and bad stuff had happened as well so i couldn't go on that motivated.. i didn't stop loving him though.. even though i know it's my fault and i know he hates me now! And it feels really really really bad to know that the one i love hates me! But i always say 'ok if i has to be someone's fault.. let it be mine..' From what you say i see that what you felt in the end was hate and the desire for revenge. I really don't wanna feel like that for him though... is it possible to avoid that?I

[JGMycroft]

Completely understand where you're coming from so here's a few things that I found has worked for my friends and I :

1). Get rid of ANYTHING that reminds you of him. Delete him as a contact from any social media or phone list. If you don't want to go that far yet, then block him. Box up everything that he might have given you and either donate it or put it somewhere you'll forget about. In order for you to get over this hump, he has to completely disappear from your life. When we go through breakups, we tend to fixate on only the good times and conveniently forget about all the fights and not so great times we had. This is the hardest step because all of us will want to hang on to stuff to remember but remembering is the worst thing you can do to yourself right now.

2). Talk to people. The more you talk about it, the more you will come to realize that maybe he wasn't as great as a person for you after all.

3). Get involved with other things. Hobbies, societies, communities, sport teams, anything as long as you get out there, put yourself in a new environment to interact with. The more people you meet, the less lonely you feel and the better off you'll be.

Last of all, take care of yourself! Go get your hair done, start working out to get that better body you've always wanted, go get yourself a new wardrobe. Show him EXACTLY what he's missing. It'll boost your confidence and make you feel secure with your body, your life, and your situation.

Good luck! The first months are hard and the next few months will be harder. Don't worry, you'll get through it and when you look back at this moment, you'll wonder why you were so upset in the first place.