My gf is jelous of me??

Seems like my gf (we are together for 3 months) she is jelous of things that I am good at. For example I have been accepted by Oxford for postgraduate studies, I am first in my class and her whole behaviour shows to me that she is jelous of that! I cannot understand why this is happening, since it's not like I brag to her or I say to her that she is not good enough. In fact, she is also a good student in a very good university (same as mine), she is pretty, she has friends and a good life in general, so no real problems or reasons that should make her feel inferior to me. In addition, I have told her a lot of times that I like her as she is, and that I am proud of her and that I love her (which is the sincere truth). However whenever I do something good (like the example I gave, or other things as well) she is like she feels sad/angry(!)/jelous instead of happy, although she says "congratulations" to me but she seems like she doesn't really mean it. Another example is that when she found out that I am a person that likes things to be tidy, she told me that her things are too messy and she feel like may she can't be with me. Once, I even made my room way too messy, so she can feel more comfortable! For me this is insane, because, at least from my point of view, I would be happy to be with someone who succeeds at his job, or that he is good at something. I would be proud of them and also feeling like I am lucky that I am with them. Furthermore, when sometimes she does something good (at an area I am not good at), I am happy about her, and I try to congratulate her, but I have a feeling (from the meaning of the words that she says) that she is like: "I did that. You cannot do that. I am better than you", not in a way to show she is also good at some things, but in a way like we are opponents (!) . For me this is a serious relationship and I like her and love her, I even hope that one day we can get married and be together for ever, but I cannot stand the feeling that I will be going back home with good news and instead of sharing them with my her and be happy and celebrate about it, that she won't like the news and that they will bring some distance to us.

Reply 1

A is for Alice

5

Jealousy is something that is nearly impossible to control and it really does sound like your girlfriend is feeling jealous of you at the moment. Firstly, there isn't much you can do to control this situation, as I've already said being jealous is natural and most people feel it at some point in their life.
You said that this is a really serious relationship for you so the best thing you can really do is be honest with her, tell her how seriously you regard your relationship and make sure that she feels the same way. If she does then try and find out why she's feeling jealous. Has she always acted a little jealous about your achievements? If not then it is possible that she's just feeling down about herself at the moment and taking it out on you, the best thing to do is be there for her and just remind her how much you care for her; if it's just a phase, remember it will pass. If she has always been like this then you should tell her being jealous makes you feel, you're allowed to do well and you should feel good about doing well. If she cares about you then she'll listen.

I hope everything goes well :smile:

Reply 2

username114658

12

I bet she's not 'jelous' of your spelling or grammar.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by scott202

I bet she's not 'jelous' of your spelling or grammar.

Haha, indeed I may be good at maths but I am very bad at english grammar

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by A is for Alice

Jealousy is something that is nearly impossible to control and it really does sound like your girlfriend is feeling jealous of you at the moment. Firstly, there isn't much you can do to control this situation, as I've already said being jealous is natural and most people feel it at some point in their life.
You said that this is a really serious relationship for you so the best thing you can really do is be honest with her, tell her how seriously you regard your relationship and make sure that she feels the same way. If she does then try and find out why she's feeling jealous. Has she always acted a little jealous about your achievements? If not then it is possible that she's just feeling down about herself at the moment and taking it out on you, the best thing to do is be there for her and just remind her how much you care for her; if it's just a phase, remember it will pass. If she has always been like this then you should tell her being jealous makes you feel, you're allowed to do well and you should feel good about doing well. If she cares about you then she'll listen.

I hope everything goes well :smile:

Thank you for your advice!!

Reply 5

Donnellya

It does sound like she's jealous, but she might actually just be worried about what's going to happen next. If you're heading off to Oxford to start a dphil she should be really happy for you, but I bet at the same time she's really worried about how she's going to fit into your life.
It sounds like you're going to go really far, I bet she's just worried she's going to be left behind.

My gf is jelous of me??

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