In love with someone you can never have.

I'm a guy, and I'm in love with my best (female) friend who I can never have. She just doesn't feel the same way about me. What do I do? Moving on from it is so so hard :frown:

Reply 1

tohill

Well start by asking yourself why she doesnt feel the same and if its an integral personality problem or looks, then i would move on. If not, then i would distance myself from her for a few weeks and approach her in a way that she be receptive. (aka reinvent yourself)

only if she's worth it of course

Reply 2

username47781

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a guy, and I'm in love with my best (female) friend who I can never have. She just doesn't feel the same way about me. What do I do? Moving on from it is so so hard :frown:

It is hard I know, but unfortunately you will have to accept it, guess either you can continue to be friends or maybe just cut her out your life.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I used to be in the exact same position as you! Then we went on holiday together and he was extremely irritating and I realised we were too different... but I don't imagine that's a great solution for you. Have you ever asked her out? Are you certain she doesn't like you?

Reply 4

Aidn

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a guy, and I'm in love with my best (female) friend who I can never have. She just doesn't feel the same way about me. What do I do? Moving on from it is so so hard :frown:

I feel sometimes the responses you need are the ones who've truly been in your position. I had fallen in love with a girl at my school but then just when I was about to ask her out, she got a girlfriend.

The best advice is there is no advice. I don't like to say the negatives, but i'm going to be blunt with you. You will go under a serious amount of regret and pain for the next month and a bit, feeling there is nothing else to life from an obsession over the person you love. But I absolutely promise you, as someone who has gone under this, you will slowly get back on track over time.

Try and not beat yourself up about it. As they say, "the heart wants what the heart wants" and you'll just have to go through this period. If anything, try and find a distraction, take up a sport or an activity, something to take your mind off things :smile:

It may or may not help.

Reply 5

Type 052D

Do gym or practice papers for your future exams.

Reply 6

superduper9

Been there my friend. It takes time and lots of distractions - for me it was going for a long run every day, doing things that kept my mind off her and getting my head down at uni, focusing on work. In the end, I distanced myself from her, sort of unknowingly. I wish I hadn't done that because she's a great friend and I really valued her for that.

Now, we're friends again, but because I distanced myself, so has she. So, if I had a second chance, I'd try to cope with it some other way and not foolishly run away from her. I should have been a good friend first, then worried about everything else after, if at all. My advice to you is this: it may hurt initially and seem very difficult, but you can distract yourself. When you find a girlfriend, things will be a lot better. Be a good friend to her first and foremost. Best of luck!

Reply 7

Paul M

Work on improving your abilities and she may see you in a different light one day.

Reply 8

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Well, I've been in a similar situation and I went down the oh well, I'll just continue to be friends with her route. Have been for a number of years now. I'm not really sure if I'd recommend this though, I mean, it does hurt a lot, especially when she has a boyfriend. For me though, it was more super amazing good friends building towards romance which then suddenly didn't happen back to super good friends.
My point is OP, for me, we had an incredibly good friendship before anything happened and we mutually agreed it was worth keeping (understanding how each other felt and the consequences of this). So if you have a very strong super close friendship with her which you value over any hurt you will have then I would go down that route, anything else and I would attempt to move on. You have to balance this out and decide what is best for you, what will make you happiest in the long-run :smile:

For me, because we have such a strong friendship even though it can really hurt sometimes, the level of support we give each other (especially when I have quite a stressful lifestyle) is invaluable to me so overall the benefits out-weigh the hurt :smile:

Just my experience though. Everyone is on a different journey, everyone is a different story. No one here can make this decision for you, we can only share our experience.

If you go down the friendship route, it will only work if you have outstanding communication and respect for each other, without that, it will turn into a nightmare.

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