Advice on first kiss?

I have never kissed anyone before but now I am in my first proper relationship and know I'm going to have to do it soon. I have put it off until now because I feel incredibly nervous about it. I know it's normal to feel a bit anxious but I genuinely feel sick with worry thinking about it. I am generally a really shy person and have no self-confidence whatsoever, hence why I am in my first relationship much later than usual. My boyfriend has been understanding and patient about this so far but I realise this is not normal as we have been together for weeks now and he has tried to kiss me before but I turned away because I panicked. It took me a while to even feel comfortable with him at all but he is bound to get fed up of me and give up if I don't do it soon. I know this sounds really stupid but I really feel like I don't know what to do and it's going to be completely awkward! Every time I think I'll do it I just can't and I don't know how to get over it. :frown:

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Reply 1

LavenderBlueSky88

Awww. Just relax. The build up and thinking about it is the worst, once you're doing it it just sort of flows...

Reply 2

581371

Firstly, if he gets fed up then he most likely isn't worth it anyway, he should be understanding. I had my first kiss at 17, it honestly just comes naturally and you just go with the flow...seriously, nothing to panic about. Sure with experience you'll learn to be a better kisser but your boyfriend should be understanding and it most likely won't bother him even if you are bad.

Reply 3

J@YZ

You know what they say, practice makes perfect...joking! My first kiss was in my 2nd year at uni and it was horrendous! I really hadn't been expecting it, because I was too naive to pick up on the signs. I mean, he was slightly drunk, we were in my room alone and I knew he liked me but somehow I never thought he would actually do anything about it. There was a pause in the conversation and he just leaned over and *mwah*! I was so shocked and upset! I withdrew and politely asked him to leave my room as it was getting late. The thing is, we chatted a few days after and we ended up going out for 8 months :smile:

He was a nice guy and very understanding when I told him I'd never ever kissed anyone before. He had kissed a few girls before but I was his first girlfriend, so he was a little nervous too. Even then, because I was shy, like yourself, it took us about two to three weeks before we kissed a second time. My advice is to start with kissing him on the cheek and once you are comfortable with that, you can progress to lips, if you want. I kiss my family on the cheek a lot, so I was comfortable with that. If you aren't, try just enjoying hand holding/hugging and then you can progress. Also, perhaps you should ask him not to try kissing you and say that you will make the move when you are ready? After I explained to my first bf that our first kiss had been scary, he didn't try again at all which made me feel more in control and took the fear out of it. However, if he isn't happy doing things at your speed, then maybe he isn't for you. There are plenty of people who will wait for you. Good luck Hun!

p.s. I guarantee if you look back at this post in 6 months, you will think, 'why did I get so stressed?' :smile:

Reply 4

TheDefiniteArticle

Just pretend you're a friendly dog and lick all over his face. The more saliva that goes everywhere, the better your technique.

Seriously, though, just do whatever feels natural because it's likely that's what is natural.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Thanks for all your replies. :smile:

We have actually been seeing each other since August, but to begin with it was just as friends to see how things went, then we started holding hands and cuddling and stuff and eventually he said I think we should just make it official. But that was weeks ago so I feel like I should really be taking things further by now. The first time he tried to kiss me was over a month ago and I just quickly cuddled him instead (really awkward). He said it was fine and he never tried to kiss me again until the other day he said he wanted to kiss me but I just said I was still too nervous. But then when we discussed it the day after, he said he is disappointed that I'm still not ready and that it feels like there is something between us now. It does feel a bit like there is tension between us now and also he has been contacting me slightly less than usual. I don't blame him, most people would get fed up if their girlfriend didn't kiss them within the first week or something. I kissed him on the cheek once, I don't mind that but I just feel a bit silly. But the thing is, I feel like if we waited even longer I still wouldn't be ready because I think the main issue is not that I'm uncomfortable with him, but to do with my self-confidence and the fact I am clueless about kissing whereas he has had much more experience. Would it be ok to just kiss him very quickly on the lips to begin with like I would on the cheek or would that be awkward and I should either do it properly or not at all?

Reply 6

beckaroo7

Do you WANT to kiss him? If you do then just go for it :smile:

He should be pretty understanding and will just be glad to be kissing you. Things will get better and you'll get more confident about the whole thing

Reply 7

Apocrypha

Ahh first kiss, its actually true, it just happens, neither person really thinks about it when it actually happens.

Reply 8

Hellz_Bellz!

Mmmm kissing is amazing. You'll be glad you did it once you have :smile:

Don't be nervous!

Reply 9

sheepy18

You're really over thinking this. Go with the flow! If you're having a cuddle and looking at eachother and find your lips gravitating, just go with it! You're building it up into something huge and you'll just make him reluctant to try kissing you and it'll never happen. Its not sex!

Reply 10

J@YZ

Original post by Anonymous

Would it be ok to just kiss him very quickly on the lips to begin with like I would on the cheek or would that be awkward and I should either do it properly or not at all?

Why not? Once the first kiss is over, it will be much easier. If you are really worried about it, you could ask him to close his eyes and wait for you to kiss him. It might make you less nervous when you actually go in for the kiss. Sheepy18 has a point when they say to go with the flow. However I have always been one for militant planning :tongue:

Remember, only do what you are comfortable with (wow I sound like my mum). Do you mind my asking how old you are? If you are at school then you have all the time in world. :biggrin:

Reply 11

So Instinct

Think of it as you're trying to eat his lips. ..... And face. :yy:

Reply 12

edwinemanuelposse

always eat peanut butter befor u go out with lover and planning to make out !!!!

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by J@YZ

Remember, only do what you are comfortable with (wow I sound like my mum). Do you mind my asking how old you are? If you are at school then you have all the time in world. :biggrin:

Might be hard to believe but I am actually 20. I am so shy that I've never even had a boyfriend until now.

Reply 14

J@YZ

Original post by Anonymous

Might be hard to believe but I am actually 20. I am so shy that I've never even had a boyfriend until now.

I was the same. Went to an all-girls school so didn't really have the opportunity until university...I'm quite glad it took me so long to have a relationship. I don't think I could have coped with the distraction at school! Made any progress yet?

Reply 15

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Ha! Had to sign in just to reply to this post, only because it hits home so well and it's such a silly thing to worry about. I was just like you a part from I'm a guy so probably makes it worst, you get anxious to the point of butterflies and you perpetually play out scenarios in your head of it being awkward or going wrong!

But believe me when I say it's so natural you don't even think about it, it's our nature to kiss and so it really does come naturally. Just kind of 'let you self go' don't think about it too much. Trust me you'll be fine :cute:

Reply 16

username1278869

Just go with the flow...

Reply 17

ilikeballoons

I was like you before my first kiss. In my head it was such a massive deal and I had scrutinised it so much...in the end, my boyfriend took me completely by surprise and by the time I had realised what was happening, it was over ^.^