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Reply 40
Then at the last moment, he told me he didn't want me to leave, he'd miss me, and he was sorry. We're still together, but sometimes I don't know for how long. I know he loves me and he's with me, but if he thinks i'm an idiot, is that really going to make him happy in the long-term? How can I change? Thanks so much.

You should never change who you are to please anyone. Because if you do then you will no longer be the person your partner fell in love with so if he accepted you at the start then he should not belittle you now.
When I first met my boyfriend I was working part time in McDonalds whilst I was on a gap year, he didn't know this initially and so made all of the usual jokes. Nearly two years later he is he best and most understanding boyfriend I could ask for! Tell him how you feel and give him a second chance :smile:
Reply 42
From that last post - He's totally abusive!
In any abusive relationship there is a system where folk go into roles: bully /victim, Authoritarian parent/'stupid' child.
Men like this will be chronically abusive - he will any be able to behave like this with someone who is supportive of this - endlessly apologetic /trying to please etc etc

Two points:

His behaviour is ridiculous.
Why are you apologising for buying him something nice, where you didn't successfully mind read his wants?? Any decent human would have be very pleased with the treat and not mention the items.

I suspect you have become so worn down by his bullying that much of your interaction is trying to placate him. This is not healthy for you is?

Also please think very clearly - what is it you live about him?

What is he doing to make you happy? (Btw why are you cleaning up after his messy bathroom???!- are you his domestic slave? I would be aiming all his mess in his direction).

How is he seeing to your emotional needs?

How is he contributing to your health as a couple?

I'm so sorry you're having to tolerate such unhappiness.

In the future when you look back at this horrid situation you will realise how strong you've been to pass thru this to find happiness with a decent man..


Good luck!
Reply 43
Don't change, see if he changes if not then dump him of whatever, you shouldn't live life trying to be perfect for somebody else, because life is to short.
Reply 44
He's lying to his work mates.....
This is horrid - it just shows he is treating you with complete disrespect...

Is he lying that you're a teacher...
A RG graduate??

Does he have a stellar career, brilliant degree, and musical talents?

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Reply 45
Original post by Anonymous


He jokes I'm rubbish at everything, and I go along with it, but it hurts. It's silly but now if we see a girl on TV singing, playing an instrument, or someone's art, etc. he always seems really impressed, and I feel a bit insecure.



I had the same problem with my ex gf's - thing is, when i joke at my gf, or at a girl I really like, that shes rubbish at something, its my stupid way of being playful and weirdly funny, and I think some guys have that in them - and its hard to understand by girls, as a lot of times, i found out my gfs or girl i liked that i hated them! lol

so i know what you mean - he could be doing what i do without realizing how much he is hurting you - i realized now, so I will be careful now... if i even get a gf now.. =)

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