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boyfriend has sex issues, how to help?

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Just a thought.......is the issue just about him cumming or floppy dick? For instance during oral does he cum then?
if you've only tried a few times what you probably need to do is back off and take away the pressure as it wont help, it may take him some time but he should eventually get his confidence back
Some guys just can't cum from sex. My ex didn't cum once in the whole year we were together. It's unusual but it happens, it's usually tied to a deep insecurity and anxiety surrounding sex which it seems your BFs is too. You're gonna have to just work at it, bit by bit. Let him know there's no pressure to have sex and you're happy to do other stuff for now.
Original post by doodle_333
if you've only tried a few times what you probably need to do is back off and take away the pressure as it wont help, it may take him some time but he should eventually get his confidence back


A few times with me. He has felt this way for years though. With everyone he has been with and seems he has never overcome it which is my worry.
Original post by Anonymous
Some guys just can't cum from sex. My ex didn't cum once in the whole year we were together. It's unusual but it happens, it's usually tied to a deep insecurity and anxiety surrounding sex which it seems your BFs is too. You're gonna have to just work at it, bit by bit. Let him know there's no pressure to have sex and you're happy to do other stuff for now.


Did that guy cum at all from any kind of sexual activity? Mine cant from any and never has been able to, only when he touches himself. What can I do to work at it?
Original post by Marky Mark
Just break up with him. Why should you weigh yourself down with his issues when you should be enjoying a healthy relationship which includes having regular sex.


You must be a saint because I would've been out of the door in the drop of a hat


Feminists get boyfriends? :lolwut:
Original post by Anonymous
A few times with me. He has felt this way for years though. With everyone he has been with and seems he has never overcome it which is my worry.


well what has happened with previous relationships, if he has spent 2 years gradually trying to overcome this with a previous partner that's different to if he has had several short term relationships or had partners who didn't really try and engage with the issue

I'm not saying that it's not worth him seeking some sort of therapy (since it doesn't seem to be a physical issue) but try not to put pressure on him to go as it will only drive a wedge between you
Ask him questions about what you're doing to take his mind of it. Like ask him to describe how certain things feel and if he can feel the sensations in more than one place :wink: Then he'll be thinking about that and forget to have a wee panic to himself...?
Offer him anal.
Original post by CaptainDudeson
Offer him anal.


What about doggy?

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Original post by lozasaurus99
What about doggy?

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Doggy anal should do the trick.
He definitely needs some sort of therapy, to go through a couple of years having this issue O.O something isn't right.
You're in a relationship so it is not only about what he wants. Clearly he might feel embarrassed about visiting the doctor in the short term but certainly he'd feel better after this once the problem is hopefully resolved.
Original post by shakool2kool
He definitely needs some sort of therapy, to go through a couple of years having this issue O.O something isn't right.


I know :frown: trouble will be getting him there..
Original post by doodle_333
well what has happened with previous relationships, if he has spent 2 years gradually trying to overcome this with a previous partner that's different to if he has had several short term relationships or had partners who didn't really try and engage with the issue

I'm not saying that it's not worth him seeking some sort of therapy (since it doesn't seem to be a physical issue) but try not to put pressure on him to go as it will only drive a wedge between you


True, I see your point. I dunno whether to wait for him to initiate stuff or for me to.. I feel like it might be pressuring if I do it. Maybe I will take full control if we get round to it to get rid of his fears of messing it up
Original post by Anonymous
True, I see your point. I dunno whether to wait for him to initiate stuff or for me to.. I feel like it might be pressuring if I do it. Maybe I will take full control if we get round to it to get rid of his fears of messing it up


ask him, it might be that he wants to feel wanted and like you said if you get on top and whatever he can't mess anything up... or it might be he wants to take it slowly at his own pace so just see what he feels
**** you insecure anonymous idiot! There's more important things than "oh my boyfriend"....to be apprehensive about Annoys me when I see these threads, the only thing teens get/want out of a relationship is sex

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Original post by lozasaurus99
**** you insecure anonymous idiot! There's more important things than "oh my boyfriend"....to be apprehensive about Annoys me when I see these threads, the only thing teens get/want out of a relationship is sex

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That is really unfair. If sex was the only important thing dont you think I would have broken up with him rather than asking for advice on how to help him through his issues?? I love him, I want to help him through his issues so one day we can have a healthy sex life and be able to have children. Im not breaking up with him over it.
Original post by Anonymous
That is really unfair. If sex was the only important thing dont you think I would have broken up with him rather than asking for advice on how to help him through his issues?? I love him, I want to help him through his issues so one day we can have a healthy sex life and be able to have children. Im not breaking up with him over it.


My point generally sex is the motivating factor as to these teenage flings!! That's what it's mostly about just get your first at uni and work in the city with a good paying job??? Now that's something to pay attention to & be apprehensive about
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(edited 9 years ago)

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