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Can you be friends with a girl you have feelings for?

About 6 months ago I confessed to a close female friend of mine that I had feelings for her. She said you know I have a boyfriend, I love him very much. I’m sorry.

I said I'm sorry.
I didn't want to lose her as a friend because I really liked her as a close friend as well so I tried to be optimistic and thought ‘well I'm not going to let this stop us from being good friends!’

A week later things went back to normal and we talked as if nothing happened that day.

I tried to move on and keep myself busy with other things. I won't lie that I've moved on from her; deep down I still love her.

Just a little bit of background info about her boyfriend. He lives in another country. They have been talking for 4 years. It's a long distance relationship. Her mum doesn’t know of the boyfriend.

Her plan is to tell her family about him in 2 years (when she finishes university). She wants to marry him.

She has met the guy only once, which was in September (2013). The first time she met him, she was in her country, at a concert, and he came over and gave her his number. And last year, she went to Turkey and met her bf once, they talked and she said that they kissed too (nothing more). They talk via skype mostly.

So, now that you have the background story, should I even be open to the idea we would ever be with her? It sounds selfish, I know, to still think about that even when she has a boyfriend, but I can't stop. I really don't want to ignore her because, like I said, I really enjoy her company as a friend too. I find it somewhat wrong just to talk to a girl just to date, and then throw away her friendship she offers after you confess to her. I try to accept the fact she rejected me and really doesn't like me that way, but sometimes I feel like maybe things might change.

I didn’t see her from April up until this month due to the summer holidays. I pretty much see her every day as we share the same classes. We mostly hang out together at uni. We have a great connection and it feels great to talk to her.

Lately, I’ve been feeling rather sad about the whole thing because my feelings for her have become stronger and I don’t know how to handle it. I really don’t want to stop being friends with her. It will be too awkward and I know she really likes me as a friend. That being said, I feel a bit overwhelmed by this whole unrequited love situation and it’s really making me feel terrible :frown:

Also a couple of other points:

1. I sometimes get jealous when I see her talking to her other guy friends. How do I stop feeling like this?

2. Lately, all I can think about is her.

3. I get upset easily when it comes to her. I hate when we have any arguments, I don't handle it well.

4. I think I am clingy and maybe too attached to her.

Any advice?
It's a weird situation but I'd say you're wasting your time. If she's happy to have done this for 4 years already and not being guaranteed he's being faithful then what's to stop it really. It's different when you are in close proximity of your boyfriend as you have more of an idea what he's up to, and he's more likely to slip up or do something to mess up, but if it's a skype based relationship, if that's even a real thing outside her head, as long as he keeps telling her everything she wants to hear, it will probably carry on. I can't make many suggestions as to how to stop feeling this way about her because usually your brain accepts it's not gonna happen over time and it gets easier but this doesnt seem to have been the case for you. I guess the best way would to be to try and find someone else, although easier said than done as I'm trying to do the same at the moment as I still love my ex and i haven't moved on. What you don't want to happen is to ever get with her if there was the chance and for it not to last for what ever reason, because once you do go out and split you'll never be the same. I wish I'd never got the chance to be with my ex because i now want to be best friends again but despite us both putting effort in we still keep falling out. As hard as it seems, you're better off as friends imo than if you did get her eventually

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