Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

I will NEVER find anyone.

I am quite literally invisible to women.

I've had one long term relationship and I was happy with that. After it ended two years ago I took the necessary steps to heal, and when I was ready I started dating again. I tried online sites, Tinder, asking girls out etc, and I have had no success. The most frustrating thing is, I don't understand why. At first I thought I might be unattractive, but after a lot of asking around apparently I'm quite good-looking, yet I can't get any matches on something as superficial as Tinder. Then I thought it was my personality, but again after asking around apparently there is nothing about me that would put girls off. I've even spoken about this in therapy and apparently there is nothing wrong with me.

"You're trying too hard". Maybe? I don't know. When I don't try at all I make no progress whatsoever. I rarely meet girls as it is, so I feel I have to try with anyone I feel a remote connection too. That's the thing as well, I hardly find that; I could be at a party, speaking to a random girl, and they'll just brush me off. Women simply don't want anything to do with me.

Yet all around me, people are finding relationships or at least having some casual fun. I'm at uni, it's to be expected. I'm not the only one I know who is single, but these people tend to be single by choice or because they've recently come out of a relationship (only to soon jump into another one with no difficulty whatsoever).

I'm frustrated. I'm upset. I'm lonely.

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Same

I'd say it might be because of your environment, a lot of people just want to have fun at Uni and aren't looking for a serious relationship and a lot of people on dating sites are older and don't want to mess around with someone younger who might not want a relationship. I'm sure you'll find someone though, good luck! :smile:

Reply 3

InadequateJusticex

You say you're invisible to women yet you've actually had a relationship. Boo hoo.

Reply 4

shawn_o1

That's what I thought too. But you need to get on with your life, do what you're supposed to do, get into social situations as often as possible. Anything that doesn't make it clear that you're desperate and in fact suggests, you're a pretty decent person to be around :smile:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Blondie987

That's the thing though, I can't even find anyone to do anything casual with. I don't even so much as get looked at when I'm out, and like I said I don't even get matches on a casual app such as Tinder.

It's why I thought I was ugly, but I've asked around amongst friends, online etc and not one person has suggested I'm unattractive. Quite the opposite in fact.

Original post by InadequateJusticex

You say you're invisible to women yet you've actually had a relationship. Boo hoo.

I got extremely lucky, but the relationship wasn't healthy for me in hindsight. Still, whilst I don't wish to sound ungrateful one woman out of the many I've met isn't going to instill me with confidence.

Reply 6

Drax101

Agree with the above, get on with your life, get on with uni and your own ambitions in life, have a laugh with your friends, do things that interest you. I also agree most people at uni don't want to be in a serious relationship. Why not go for an older women?

Be more sociable and go into more social situations and someone may be attracted to you or recommend you.

You could try speed dating, look up on Google for speed dating events, you could join a club, such as a salsa club, go out with your friends or you could even get a dating coach such as the authentic man within (Google him) who could fix your issues out.

You are just a young person OP, no need to sweat it, you will find someone nice in time, maybe at work, catching the train or something.

Good luck!

Reply 7

Kashmir Skirt

I used to think that, wasn't even a virgin and I still felt that way, then I found my girl and I no longer believe that.

Reply 8

user382

Often see threads like this.

The only way is to put yourself out there.

Finding compatible people is hard.

:wink:

Reply 9

Kevin De Bruyne

Original post by Kashmir Skirt

I used to think that, wasn't even a virgin and I still felt that way, then I found my girl and I no longer believe that.

Aww, see, there is hope. Good job :wink:

Reply 10

Pillbottle

I'm guessing your not an elderly man therefore you have all the time to be looking for a woman, (the "right" woman) so my advise to you is don't think too much about it because unlike the time you have to search for a girl, your youth doesn't last long. So go and live your youthhood and trust me considering how stressful some women can be (including myself :colondollar:

), its worth the wait. ---- p.s maybe those girls who brushed you off, weren't worth it, (coming from fate's point of view :u:

)

Reply 11

whorace

Original post by SeanFM

Aww, see, there is hope. Good job :wink:

Give it a few months i'll be consoling him.

Reply 12

Kashmir Skirt

Original post by whorace

Give it a few months i'll be consoling him.

we've been together over a year and I'm deffo handsome enough to be playboy extraordinaire if I wanted to be

but thanks for the offer

Reply 13

Mauryan

Same. Life is harder in various departments when you're a guy and relationships are one them.

Reply 14

StarsDestination

[video]https://youtu.be/XiBYM6g8Tck[/video]

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 15

StarsDestination

[video="youtube;XiBYM6g8Tck"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiBYM6g8Tck&feature=youtu.be[/video]

Bruh seriously why isn't the video appearing? :angry:

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Original post by Drax101

I also agree most people at uni don't want to be in a serious relationship. Why not go for an older women?

Again, I'd like to point out that I can't get anything casual.
I've tried. No luck. Besides, most older women won't go for younger guys I would imagine.

Original post by Drax101

You are just a young person OP, no need to sweat it, you will find someone nice in time, maybe at work, catching the train or something.!

I believe I have reason to "sweat it" when clearly there is something preventing me from experiencing any sort of connection with a female. As the scenarios you mentioned, highly doubtful as I have never been approached.

Original post by stefano865

The only way is to put yourself out there.

I go to uni (so, lectures and parties), I work, I volunteer at three separate organisations. I'd like to think I'm making a good enough effort as it is.

Reply 17

Katarvi

If there's nothing wrong with your looks or personality as you say, then there's not a lot you can do. Maybe you're giving off a "desperate" or lonely vibe? I can usually tell when someone is interested in me because they have a lack of other options or are just clinging to the first female they see as opposed to actually liking me for who I am. If a girl feels like she's just a last resort then she won't be attracted to you regardless.

Reply 18

CON5P1RACY K1D

I know this is gonna sound stupid but be weird, Im weird af and girls seem to like it. Ur prob look good (no homo) don't try to hard when u approach a girl and don't get upset when they reject u or whatever cause ur bound to find the right person, I promise ya