Possibly Pregnant

If you weren't willing to abort the child, you should not have had sex in the first place since you clearly cannot take care of one.

I'm worried that I could be pregnant because I'm displaying some symptoms and I had a stomach bug earlier in the month, so the pill may not have been effective. However, I would have come on my period a few days ago, but I'm taking the pill back to back due to a holiday so I wouldn't know if I've missed my period until the 19th April. But if I take test and find out I am I can't tell my boyfriend because he has exams in a few months, so I would have to wait until after and then he would be angry at me for not telling him. We have been together for almost a year, he is my best friend and we have talked about getting married and having children together, but years after university. If I am pregnant, the baby would be due around December and I would have just started the last year of my degree and he would have started his second year. We're moving in together in September, but I know he would want to drop out of University to get a job and support the baby. I know he's not ready and I'm not sure if I am either, but I couldn't have an abortion. I feel as though I would be messing everything up if I were pregnant because this wasn't what we had planned. Should I take a test now or wait until I know I've missed a period? Sorry for the long post.

Contraceptives are not 100% so you could use them all and still get pregnant.

Aye, which is why I said you should not have sex if you can't be responsible. You use protection and if that fails you abort the fetus or have the baby, but only if you have already been in a long-term trustworthy relationship you know will not break at the first sight of trouble and you are financially stable - OP is neither. She's probably just past her honeymoon stage with her bf and already causing problems by refusing to tell him of this life changing problem - that she may be pregnant, how do you think a relationship like this will go? Who will care for the baby? Some broke college kids? Who will teach the child? Some immature college kids?

Broke and immature adults are raising children all the time. Being at college doesn't necessarily mean someone will be a bad parent, just like being an adult with a stable job doesn't mean you'll be a good parent. This discussion is irrelevant on OP's thread - she hasn't asked for judgement on her situation, or what she should have done. She's simply asking for advice now. It's no good saying someone shouldn't have had sex. That's like telling someone with injuries after a car crash that they shouldn't have got in a car.

Aye broke and immature adults raise children as well, its just as bad and doesn't justify this girl keeping this pregnancy a secret from her boyfriend nor does it justify her keeping the child. At the very least the two should have a discussion and decide what they're going to do with it, don't you think? Any "good" parent would only offer their child the best life they possibly can, hence they would not get pregnant and keep a child when they so obviously can't take care of one, when all they need do is wait a couple of years, see if their relationship will last and find a job. I'm advising her to talk to her boyfriend now and come to a decison for herself, I suggest that decision be an abortion. Your analogy is a poor one, car crashes have one party or another at fault, getting pregnant (so long as you used protection) does not, but you are required to be responsible, in the case of a car crash to tend to your injuries and in the case of pregnancy communicate with your partner and come to a rational decision and not one based on emotion, like our OP is doing.

Aye, which is why I said you should not have sex if you can't be responsible. You use protection and if that fails you abort the fetus or have the baby, but only if you have already been in a long-term trustworthy relationship you know will not break at the first sight of trouble and you are financially stable - OP is neither. She's probably just past her honeymoon stage with her bf and already causing problems by refusing to tell him of this life changing problem - that she may be pregnant, how do you think a relationship like this will go? Who will care for the baby? Some broke college kids? Who will teach the child? Some immature college kids?

Aye broke and immature adults raise children as well, its just as bad and doesn't justify this girl keeping this pregnancy a secret from her boyfriend nor does it justify her keeping the child. At the very least the two should have a discussion and decide what they're going to do with it, don't you think? Any "good" parent would only offer their child the best life they possibly can, hence they would not get pregnant and keep a child when they so obviously can't take care of one, when all they need do is wait a couple of years, see if their relationship will last and find a job. I'm advising her to talk to her boyfriend now and come to a decison for herself, I suggest that decision be an abortion. Your analogy is a poor one, car crashes have one party or another at fault, getting pregnant (so long as you used protection) does not, but you are required to be responsible, in the case of a car crash to tend to your injuries and in the case of pregnancy communicate with your partner and come to a rational decision and not one based on emotion, like our OP is doing.

Car crashes can be caused by a car failure, weather conditions, or an animal/obstacle in the middle of the road. A car can fail just as contraception/planning sex around fertile periods can fail. But just as you still get in the car and deal with an accident if it happens, you still have sex and then deal with the pregnancy if it happens. If we all dealt with life by only doing things where we'd be happy if our 'worst case scenario' occurred we wouldn't end up doing much.

I do agree that OP should take a test and talk to her boyfriend, and they should make the decision together, but I don't think anyone outside their situation can say an abortion is the right move or keeping the baby (if there is one) is the right move. Having a baby is an emotional decision, not one that can be made by using pure logic (although hopefully logic comes into it when people plan how they will afford the things they need and what their living situation will be). If everyone had an abortion when they felt that they might encounter difficulties in raising a child I definitely would never have been born and most poor people would never have children. The fact is there is hardly ever a perfect time to bring a child into the world, or a perfect situation. People just make the best of what they have and more often than not things turn out fine in the end.

You are unbelievably judgemental. I am 22 years old, I am a qualified Early Years Practitioner and I have almost finished my second year of a degree in Early Childhood Studies. I have more experience with babies and children than most first time parents. I am in a committed relationship and while getting pregnant at university is not ideal, these things happen. If I were pregnant I would put my life on hold and put my child first to ensure they have the best life possible. Of course money is important, but love and a stable family is more important. Yes I am young, and I was scared, I love my boyfriend more than anything and I didn't want to risk him having more to worry about than his exams, because I wouldn't forgive myself if he failed because of me. You have no idea about me or my relationship so don't make assumptions about me.

Aye, which is why I said you should not have sex if you can't be responsible. You use protection and if that fails you abort the fetus or have the baby, but only if you have already been in a long-term trustworthy relationship you know will not break at the first sight of trouble and you are financially stable - OP is neither. She's probably just past her honeymoon stage with her bf and already causing problems by refusing to tell him of this life changing problem - that she may be pregnant, how do you think a relationship like this will go? Who will care for the baby? Some broke college kids? Who will teach the child? Some immature college kids?

Have you ever had to face the choice of abortion yourself? It's easy enough to say "You use protection and if that fails you abort the fetus or have the baby". It must be a hell of a decision for the OP to make so don't pass it off so easy.

I never said it was easy or that it was a pleasant thing to do but it's a responsibility. The fact it's a difficult thing to do does not mean you should not take any action, but apparently the OP is capable of taking care of a child so your reply is a lil late =P

You're such a patronizing arse, just piss off!

You're such a patronizing arse, just piss off!

Aye, which is why I said you should not have sex if you can't be responsible. You use protection and if that fails you abort the fetus or have the baby, but only if you have already been in a long-term trustworthy relationship you know will not break at the first sight of trouble and you are financially stable - OP is neither. She's probably just past her honeymoon stage with her bf and already causing problems by refusing to tell him of this life changing problem - that she may be pregnant, how do you think a relationship like this will go? Who will care for the baby? Some broke college kids? Who will teach the child? Some immature college kids?