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I cant end the relationship and i hate it

i have been with my girlfriend for nearly two years now and things over the years have been very shaky and a bit of a bumpy ride, it started with another guy who liked her and would message her all the time and they would meet up sometimes but i just assumed they where friends but it started getting a bit much and they would message evan more than me and her did so i asked her about it and she said it was nothing they where just good friends, later on in the relation ship when things had died down about it i asked her if anything and had actually been going on and she told me that there was some stuff going on that he hated me and my girlfriend being together and couldn't stand seeing us together and wanted to go to the same uni as her.

There is also another side to the story witch is her anger, she is such an angry and negative person that i really get down and the way she acts towards other people, she didn't like my friends and so she made me ditch them but did it in a way of making me hate them and only know can i see that they where my true friends, she made me end every all the friendships i have had with girls and gets angry if i talk to them, evan though her and the guy still talk i just feel that it really isnt fair and i get so angry just thinking about it my heart starts beeting so quickly and my head starts spinning. there are alot more things i could talk about and the list is endless lots of little things that just make me think what am i doing with her

i do love her and i did fall for her really hard but that was at the beginning and we are along way from that now, i have on and off days about breaking up with her i almost see it as like homework, i always think oh it is okay i will do it tomorrow but never do, we have come close to braking up once and it didn't last long at all basically the best part of 2 days, i am studying to do aerospace engineering and this is all a big distraction and i know i just need to get my head down and study.

please can i have any suggestions about how to do or just any feed back at all would be amazing, i feel so alone about all this and dont really know what to do......

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Reply 1
talk to her, you may be able to fix things
I think you know it has come to a natural end. It seems like she has double standards when she's allowed to talk to other guys but you can't do the same with girls. She sounds like a bad girlfriend and it's not doing you any favours by continuing on. You need to talk to her one way or another.
Reply 3
i have tried many times but every time we try and sort something out we always end back into the old ways of the relationship
Reply 4
Original post by Rhythmical
I think you know it has come to a natural end. It seems like she has double standards when she's allowed to talk to other guys but you can't do the same with girls. She sounds like a bad girlfriend and it's not doing you any favours by continuing on. You need to talk to her one way or another.


yes i know i can just never find the right time to do it and when i did it the previous time i got very upset and only remembered all the amazing times we have had

she has gone out clubbing with her friends for the first time and i dont know why but i am getting worked up about it evan though if something happens it might actually be a good thing
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by tubbz12389
yes i know i can just never find the right time to do it and when i did it the previous time i got very upset and only remembered all the amazing times we have had

she has gone out clubbing with her friends for the first time and i dont know why but i am getting worked up about it evan though if something happens it might actually be a good thing


You deserve to be with someone who appreciates and values you. Sure you've had good times but now the bad times are overriding them and I know it's difficult but it'll get harder and worse.
Focus on exams, if you keep yourself busy with work, you won't be thinking about stuff.

In my humble opinion, high school relationships aren't worth all the hassle, especially if you people will go to different universities. If you want to, work on your relationship during holidays, now is not the time.
Reply 7
Original post by Rhythmical
You deserve to be with someone who appreciates and values you. Sure you've had good times but now the bad times are overriding them and I know it's difficult but it'll get harder and worse.


i know you are right i just need to do something about it but maybe after the exams are over because dont want to mess up all of that
Reply 8
Original post by Blank_Planet
Focus on exams, if you keep yourself busy with work, you won't be thinking about stuff.

In my humble opinion, high school relationships aren't worth all the hassle, especially if you people will go to different universities. If you want to, work on your relationship during holidays, now is not the time.


i am going to start doing some work now, ahaha you have just got me in gear and i know i have got to work so hard to get the grades i need, i hope you are right with the high school relationships because i feel i want to just end it now and get on with my life
Original post by tubbz12389
i know you are right i just need to do something about it but maybe after the exams are over because dont want to mess up all of that



I hope you can do your exams ok because relationships can mess them up, it might clear your head to end it before exams but then again it's up to you. Don't let her get to you. I hate it when people think women can't be abusive and controlling in relationships because just like men, they can be. Hope everything gets sorted out.
dump her ass now
Reply 11
Original post by Rhythmical
I hope you can do your exams ok because relationships can mess them up, it might clear your head to end it before exams but then again it's up to you. Don't let her get to you. I hate it when people think women can't be abusive and controlling in relationships because just like men, they can be. Hope everything gets sorted out.


i know i hope i do okay to i will be so angry if this gets in the way of it all, i think i might leave it until after exams because i suspect that it is all going to blow up and consume alot of my time and effort, if i did it before i would probably have to laminate my revision notes so the tears will just roll off ahahah
Reply 12
Okay let's put it this way

Yes it'll suck and you'll feel lonely as hell and you'll probably want to drown in an unhealthy amount of sugar and cry if you break up
But it'll get so much better and that's almost a 100% guarantee

You have so much life left yes, but do you really want to look back in a couple of years time and think this is how you spent a good portion of your time? Mooning over some girl who doesn't have the respect to treat you equally? You state your own worth through your own actions, if you could date you, how would you treat yourself?
If she's not doing it anywhere close, then it's not worth

Your future > Her

People are sometimes irritable and wrong, but you shouldn't have to stay in a relationship if it feels like a chore or something you don't want to leave due to familiarity.
If that person doesn't make you happy over 90% of the time
Then cut them out. You don't need them.

Trust me when I say you don't want to drag it out
Even if you all promised to work it out just stop
(I've been there done that, got the t-shirt and wished I could get the refund)
Come a year or two you can look back and you'll probably think that you were on drugs for letting this happen
Original post by tubbz12389
i know i hope i do okay to i will be so angry if this gets in the way of it all, i think i might leave it until after exams because i suspect that it is all going to blow up and consume alot of my time and effort, if i did it before i would probably have to laminate my revision notes so the tears will just roll off ahahah




It'll be sad and hard but then think of your future. Your perfect girl is waiting for you and she'll be everything your girlfriend isn't. Having a relationship during uni and A Levels isn't easy I know.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 14
Get rid of her and join me on my life goal:

Get rich and Die alone.
Reply 15
Original post by T Stark
Okay let's put it this way

Yes it'll suck and you'll feel lonely as hell and you'll probably want to drown in an unhealthy amount of sugar and cry if you break up
But it'll get so much better and that's almost a 100% guarantee

You have so much life left yes, but do you really want to look back in a couple of years time and think this is how you spent a good portion of your time? Mooning over some girl who doesn't have the respect to treat you equally? You state your own worth through your own actions, if you could date you, how would you treat yourself?
If she's not doing it anywhere close, then it's not worth

Your future > Her

People are sometimes irritable and wrong, but you shouldn't have to stay in a relationship if it feels like a chore or something you don't want to leave due to familiarity.
If that person doesn't make you happy over 90% of the time
Then cut them out. You don't need them.

Trust me when I say you don't want to drag it out
Even if you all promised to work it out just stop
(I've been there done that, got the t-shirt and wished I could get the refund)
Come a year or two you can look back and you'll probably think that you were on drugs for letting this happen


so do you think i should do it before exams or after because i dont really want to be to upset during exams and my school life is closly linked with hers and would be really hard at school as well
Reply 16
Original post by HeimIX
Get rid of her and join me on my life goal:

Get rich and Die alone.


we can get rich and die alone together
(so not really alone)
If she's the type to not respect your friends and yet your letting her speak to that guy? Double standards. If she really did love you she would've respected your friends as well as wanting to spend more time with you. If she liked you for who you are then she would text you more than texting that dude. If I was in your position I would break it off, you deserve better than this. I was in a similar situation as you, but my girlfriend got bored of me. It's ironic because she was the one who was afraid of me getting tired of her. Nevertheless, her actions contradicted her words and had my friends and my family member help me process the true reality and dump her. It's going to be hard, but it's best for your self in the long run.

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Dude your heads a mess and confused.

You need to take a step back and then take a time out. Remove yourself from the situation by telling her you need to focus on your exams, then just do that. No contact, no distraction just your exams , sleep, eat, exercise etc.

After your exams then you can deal with it, but you are unhappy and its run its course. You talk about loving her but you dont seem to like her and she obviously doesnt like or respect you. On that basis youll be happier on your own. Just make it quick and get it over with. "Thanks we had some good times and its not been working for ages, lets split etc ". I do not think theres scope for working it out, nor do i see either of you sticking to it. There is nothing to sort out. leave it.

When you break make it a clean one erase all contact with her for 6-12 months. Do not keep in touch and whether she sleeps with the other bf its not your problem. You cna find someone else who you like.

Re-engage with your friends or find new ones after the exam.
Reply 19
Original post by tubbz12389
so do you think i should do it before exams or after because i dont really want to be to upset during exams and my school life is closly linked with hers and would be really hard at school as well


Well how stressed are you with your exams already?
Because at the rate you're going I'd say you'll be stressed either way

One because if you tell her before you'll probably feel bad during exam season but you'll be free by summer to do as you will and that's always an exciting prospect

Two you wait but get increasingly stressed by the impending date of breakup
And you'll probably spend the first weeks after summer moping a little but you do get to immediately avoid the girl rather than have to see her at school

I'd say doing it before will stress both of you out but her more so (to an extent you, if she wants to make life hard and makes it her mission)
But doing it after puts more stress on you and less on her because she won't have seen it coming (but on the other hand she may increasingly **** you over during exam season and you don't need that either)

Would she be amiable to the idea of a break from relationships due to the high stress of exam season? Because then you both get used to the idea of not having each other and you can just slyly break up after

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