She wants something more...

I've seen this girl a couple of times and she's funny and awesome and we get along with everything and "get" each other, but it was always just meant to be a casual hookup thing, and I don't want want any more than that - we can be friendly and stuff sure, but I'm totally not looking for any kind of serious relationship. Never had a girlfriend, certainly not looking for one, it all seems like unnecessary hassle to me.

And yet (perfect timing) here I am posting girl troubles on TSR.

Because she's just sent me a message throwing around words like "girlfriend" and "devoted" and that I should be doing more to "cultivate her". She's talking as if she's some kind of root vegetable.

So, for the first time in my life, I'm now faced with the awkward way of telling someone that I'm just not that into them. Any advice from those who have gone down this road before?

I've seen this girl a couple of times and she's funny and awesome and we get along with everything and "get" each other, but it was always just meant to be a casual hookup thing, and I don't want want any more than that - we can be friendly and stuff sure, but I'm totally not looking for any kind of serious relationship. Never had a girlfriend, certainly not looking for one, it all seems like unnecessary hassle to me.

And yet (perfect timing) here I am posting girl troubles on TSR.

Because she's just sent me a message throwing around words like "girlfriend" and "devoted" and that I should be doing more to "cultivate her". She's talking as if she's some kind of root vegetable.

So, for the first time in my life, I'm now faced with the awkward way of telling someone that I'm just not that into them. Any advice from those who have gone down this road before?

Go with " look I really like you but Im afraid I just dont see a future here. You are an amazing person but I dont think that I am the right person for you, we just wont work like a couple. I am not looking for something serious and I am very ashamed I lead you to think this. I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart but we are just not meant to be."

Lots of people would be highly envious of finding someone like that rather than the turds they come across.

Whilst respecting your point of view to remain single, it strikes you'be never had a gf, so you dont have much to go on about how much hassle (or not)they can be. Someone who is highly incompatible can be a real nightmare, but someone who you get on with, has the potential to be awesome. Sometimes being in a relationship can be like that. I'd think about it, but enough of the sell and i'd be arranging a date right now, but i'm not you.

If you want to let her down gently, then you are going to have to be a man and talk to her face to face. Tell her you think she is great and all the other things, but you arent looking for a relationship at the moment and you wanted to be straight with her.

She will probably be confused, disappointed, annoyed and hurt, but better tell her now before she gets any deeper. Presumably you havent slept with her beayse she might feel used and led on if so. Dont be a coward and make excuses, just tell the truth. You should also consider breaking off contact because she will always want more and could end up leading herself on.

If shes as good as you say, then I think you should give it a try, you could do a lot worse for your first girlfriend. If you really dont want one then let her down gently and treat her with respect.

Well, I slept with her every time we met up, to be honest I was sure that was really all our "thing" was. Just two people who were attracted to each other, enjoyed the sex and had a laugh. At no point ever did I even hint towards me looking for a relationship.I liked a girl once a long time ago, she walked all over me so I just can't be bothered with it. I've got better things to do with my time. I'm just not into that whole relationships thing. Like, I'm seeing people I went to school with now getting married and having kids and stuff and honestly every time I see stuff like that, I just think "God, I'm glad I don't have that bullcrap put up with, they probably have 10 arguments for every hug". Totally wouldn't work. I have a career to take care of and that comes first. Plus, as said above I'm just not that into her. Couldn't possibly have a relationship with someone if you don't really like them in that way, nor do you want a relationship. I'd just end up trying to hard and probably pretending to enjoy it more than I actually was.

Because she's just sent me a message throwing around words like "girlfriend" and "devoted" and that I should be doing more to "cultivate her". She's talking as if she's some kind of root vegetable.

Go with " look I really like you but Im afraid I just dont see a future here. You are an amazing person but I dont think that I am the right person for you, we just wont work like a couple. I am not looking for something serious and I am very ashamed I lead you to think this. I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart but we are just not meant to be."

Go with " look I really like you but Im afraid I just dont see a future here. You are an amazing person but I dont think that I am the right person for you, we just wont work like a couple. I am not looking for something serious and I am very ashamed I lead you to think this. I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart but we are just not meant to be."

You've done this before.

You've done this before.

cultivate her