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transgender dad

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Original post by amyjanee15
i can't deal with it now, i don't like him dressing up at all. I'm just uncomfortable with it all


Why did you start this thread if you don't want to talk about it?
Original post by PQ
Why did you start this thread if you don't want to talk about it?



She was probably seeing if there was any way out of it, she is going through a tough time and it is totally understandable if she feels uncomfortable and wants to leave.
Original post by amyjanee15
i can't deal with it now, i don't like him dressing up at all. I'm just uncomfortable with it all


Ok, time to sit the **** down and shut the **** up.

Being the child of a trans person is probably the only time when I think that anyone else's opinion is in anyway relevant to someone's transition but you need to understand this isn't about you. Your parent transitioning may seem weird to you but you need to be understanding. It isn't your job as their child to be their emotional support but if you love them then you'd want them to be happy.
Original post by amyjanee15
i can't deal with it now, i don't like him dressing up at all. I'm just uncomfortable with it all


While I understand a parent transitioning can be a difficult time for the child, too, I think it's important you understand this is more than her just "dressing up." For a long time, she's identified as a gender she knew wasn't her own. As I've never experienced gender dysphoria, I would never be able to do it justice, but try to imagine feeling uncomfortable in your own skin one-hundred-percent of the time - there's no holiday and every time someone calls you by a male pronoun or the like, it reminds you of that fact.

Even now she's transitioned, I'd imagine you calling her by dad and referring to her with male pronouns reminds her of the years she had to go through that. She's transitioned in hopes of moving past that.

As I said earlier, what you call your parent tends to be decided on a family-by-family basis and this is why - some people won't mind being referred to as the parent label of their previous gender, others will.

Maybe you could do some reading around being trans? If you understand what your parent is going through, it might help you be more understanding of her situation, although I can recognise this must be a confusing time for you, too. :redface:
Original post by SmallTownGirl
Ok, time to sit the **** down and shut the **** up.

Being the child of a trans person is probably the only time when I think that anyone else's opinion is in anyway relevant to someone's transition but you need to understand this isn't about you. Your parent transitioning may seem weird to you but you need to be understanding. It isn't your job as their child to be their emotional support but if you love them then you'd want them to be happy.



Um yes this is about her as well, it effects everyone around him and especially close family, quite frankly if this happened to me I would be walking out the door too. it is too much of a pressure and it would probably hurt me in other aspects of life.
Original post by AperfectBalance
Um yes this is about her as well, it effects everyone around him and especially close family, quite frankly if this happened to me I would be walking out the door too. it is too much of a pressure and it would probably hurt me in other aspects of life.


Her*
Original post by ForestShadow
Why wouldn't he be?:redface:

Would you still be his daughter if you changed your name and gender?


nah she'd be his son surely (?)
Original post by A-LJLB
Her*


No. He I will not call him a her I am sorry but I just don't think it is right.
Original post by AperfectBalance
No. He I will not call him a her I am sorry but I just don't think it is right.


You may not agree with it, but you should respect it.
Original post by Milzime
nah she'd be his son surely (?)


I think you could call him mum or dad, depending on which you prefer.
Original post by A-LJLB
You may not agree with it, but you should respect it.


I am not going to do something that I disagree with.
Original post by AperfectBalance
x


Your opinion is irrelevant. You have your preferred pronouns. I think it's up to other people to decide which pronouns they feel more comfortable with.
Original post by AperfectBalance
No. He I will not call him a her I am sorry but I just don't think it is right.


Why do you think the comfort of the family of a trans person is more important that the mental health and physical safety of the trans person themself?
Original post by AperfectBalance
I am not going to do something that I disagree with.


Original post by acupofgreentea
Your opinion is irrelevant. You have your preferred pronouns. I think it's up to other people to decide which pronouns they feel more comfortable with.


This.
Original post by amyjanee15
he goes mental when i call him dad. I'm going to live with my mum somewhere else as she doesn't like it either



Just so you know: It is not your duty to care for your father. It is your father's duty to care for and protect you, to love you and guide you.

Of course there's confusion, and I'm very sorry you're going through it. Your Dad's duty is to love you unconditionally. Even if you use pronouns your father finds offensive.

You are allowed to feel about this however you want. He says he cannot help how he feels, so you cannot help how you feel.

Regardless of how you feel about his choices, know that he is part of the reason you're in this world. Love him and work on loving him if you find you're angry at him right now.
Original post by acupofgreentea
Your opinion is irrelevant. You have your preferred pronouns. I think it's up to other people to decide which pronouns they feel more comfortable with.


I dont have preferred pronouns. it is not me wanting to be male it is me being biologically a male. thus I am a He.
Original post by ForestShadow


lmao

I only say that because if I changed my name and gender etc. I'd hate for my dad to go around saying "here's my daughter" if I've tried so hard to shake all th female pronouns :yy:

But I think what OP needs to know is that, legally, that human is still her father, although this individual may not wish to be called dad

god all this stuff is so complicated and you gotta tiptoe so hardddd:redface:
Original post by Trapz99
I think you could call him mum or dad, depending on which you prefer.


OP has stated their parent doesn't want to be called 'dad', so OP shouldn't be using this word for their parent.
Original post by AperfectBalance
I dont have preferred pronouns. it is not me wanting to be male it is me being biologically a male. thus I am a He.


:rofl:

Biology as an excuse for being rude....so much for rational thought :nope:

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