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Can't get over her

so basically, I can't get over this girl, I love her so much, but we stopped being friends a while ago, I offered to take her and her friend out and I was going to do it then one day she said to just go away and to leave her alone, I've tried explaining that I want to be friends with her again as I miss her, but I haven't gotten a reply yet, I feel very sad and depressed all the time as it is, and I often get drunk or take something to help with this. I literally cannot motivate myself to work anymore and I'm worried I'm going to fail my A2's this year as I'm not motivated, just sad all the time and I can't get over this girl I was friends with, about 2 months she's known how I feel about her and I cannot stop loving her. My subject teacher for the subject I wanted to do at uni has left, and now I have some idiot that can't mark papers/teach so I really don't know what to do.

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Reply 1
I find it very difficult to concentrate as well.
With teachers leaving, you just gotta take matters into your own hand more and perhaps ask the other subject teacher in your school to help? And have you tried to talk to her again recently be it on social media or irl? Has she not said anything or replied?
Reply 3
anyone?
Do you have anyone you can speak to about how you're feeling? Friends or family? You definitely shouldn't be trying to use alcohol to 'help' you especially if you're still at school!! So I'd strongly advise you to stay away from drinking and remember that while this is painful just now, you'll definitely get over it, you may need to speak to a professional about how you're feeling but regardless you need to tell your family and friends about your situation so they can help you through it. Also, as much as your mh is important, you're not doing yourself any favours by not revising, you'll regret it. Good luck
Reply 5
Original post by Blondie987
Do you have anyone you can speak to about how you're feeling? Friends or family? You definitely shouldn't be trying to use alcohol to 'help' you especially if you're still at school!! So I'd strongly advise you to stay away from drinking and remember that while this is painful just now, you'll definitely get over it, you may need to speak to a professional about how you're feeling but regardless you need to tell your family and friends about your situation so they can help you through it. Also, as much as your mh is important, you're not doing yourself any favours by not revising, you'll regret it. Good luck


My friend knows but he just said to ignore her, I still can't get over her though and I started to love her like 4 months ago :/. I haven't got the money to talk to a professional and I'm not even sure if I would qualify as needing one and would look rather stupid. I've felt depressed and sad most of the time for about a year
Reply 6
Original post by Blondie987
call one of these numbers

116 123 (Samaritans)

0800 1111 (childline)

0800 068 41 41 (Papyrus)

You literally have your whole life ahead of you and as much as you're hurt right now, you WILL get over it and go on to live a fulfilled and happy life.


Funnily enough, she called me a loser because she found out I did coke. And I think she's right. I've never even kissed a girl,let alone had a gf. I don't have any money either, so I don't have hobbies, not that those interest me at all. I only have about 2-3 proper friends and tbh my life is pretty **** and I can't see it getting any better.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Funnily enough, she called me a loser because she found out I did coke. And I think she's right. I've never even kissed a girl,let alone had a gf. I don't have any money either, so I don't have hobbies, not that those interest me at all. I only have about 2-3 proper friends and tbh my life is pretty **** and I can't see it getting any better.


I'm sure she just doesn't want to get involved with drugs, and can you blame her? Get off the drugs, get off the drink, speak to a professional. You're not a loser but if you continue you like this , you'll never be happy. Please do it for yourself
Do you have any classes with her? maybe try and interact with her as maybe she isnt sure that you like her and wants to be sure? why did she stop being your friend?
I crush'ed someone, they showed signs back but were too religious to take it to the next level (not religious enough to not talk to me lol and flirt) so I got myself another gf and after that I didn't even think of her much
Original post by Blondie987
I'm sure she just doesn't want to get involved with drugs, and can you blame her? Get off the drugs, get off the drink, speak to a professional. You're not a loser but if you continue you like this , you'll never be happy. Please do it for yourself


No I just accidently mentioned that I did it when drunk, I've never offered her any of it obviously.
Original post by Anonymous
Do you have any classes with her? maybe try and interact with her as maybe she isnt sure that you like her and wants to be sure? why did she stop being your friend?


3 school years below me, she's 15 and I'm 18 so no chance there lol, no she knows I definitely like her. Stopped being my friend because I had an argument with her best friend.
Original post by Anonymous
3 school years below me, she's 15 and I'm 18 so no chance there lol, no she knows I definitely like her. Stopped being my friend because I had an argument with her best friend.


You really need to let it go, that age gap is way too big, focus on your mental health by getting the help you need and then move onto someone right for you
Original post by Blondie987
You really need to let it go, that age gap is way too big, focus on your mental health by getting the help you need and then move onto someone right for you


well it's a 2 year 3 month age gap
Original post by Anonymous
well it's a 2 year 3 month age gap


The age gap is fine if you were 21 and she was 18 but at 15 think she is young and you will go uni while she will be doing her a-levels doubt she has the emotional maturity at 15. Also you will meet lots of girls at uni why waste your time on a 15 year old kid.
Dosen't look like she has feelings for you if she is not wanting to atleast be friends sorry.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Blondie987
You really need to let it go, that age gap is way too big, focus on your mental health by getting the help you need and then move onto someone right for you


who do I speak to?
Original post by Anonymous
who do I speak to?


A counsellor/therapist and your family and friends
Original post by Blondie987
A counsellor/therapist and your family and friends


they cost money though and I don't want to tell my family or friends it's embarassing as **** lol
Original post by Anonymous
they cost money though and I don't want to tell my family or friends it's embarassing as **** lol


Well the main thing is to get over her, it would never have worked and you shouldn't keep trying to pursue it or think about it. Take your mind off it and if you're feeling this low you are more than entitled to get help from your go.
Hello, I can't really offer any solutions to you because there aren't really any that will make everything better at the flick of a switch :frown:
But something very similar happened to me about a year ago now (when I was 17). I thought I fell in love with one of my best friends, and she led me on for a bit before she rejected me. I was heart broken, I'd call her and go round to her house trying to make amends to our friendship but nothing ever changed. It was a pretty bad time for me for about 6 months. I'm completely ok with it now though, these things really are just a matter of time.

I, like you, felt as though I had no one to talk to. I wasn't comfortable talking to my friends about it because I felt as though I shouldn't bother troubling them with my problems and I felt stupid. But if you bottle up your emotions it's not going to end well. And trying to bury them with drugs and alcohol is a really bad idea. And life is definitely not worth throwing away for the sake of teenage romance.
The only thing I can suggest to you is to try to move on. (I appreciate that it's what you've already been told and probably the last thing you want to hear again, but it's the truth) Talk to your friends about how you feel, it will help, you will feel stupid, but it will help. Everyone goes through this kind of thing at some point and it's perfectly normal. It's just especially hard the first time you encounter these things.
I hope this is of some help/comfort and that you can try to move in your life and not stay stuck in a rut that this girl has left you in :/

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