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Do single girls post more on social media?

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Original post by IFoundWonderland
And that was not even the half of it.

Oh Christ tell me about it - the thing is, I'm not sure people always pick up on sarcasm/humour by text and that's the issue. I always think I'm being extremely enigmatic and it's lost on the other person :grumble:. People are also uninterested in the things I find interesting. I only text my friends via our giant group chat and my family via our group chat really. There are a couple of people I text individually, but it's only really because of effort on their part. Then why not abandon online dating attempts and focus on irl?

And that is totally terrifying.

But there must have been some initial attraction to drive the chemistry?


what do you find interesting?

Haha tbh I don't bother with online dating, I don't feel online is the best place to meet people. I'm quite tactile, and I like to look at people in the eyes and hear their voice etc, I'm pretty physical I guess. I had Tinder but I never used it how it's meant to be used. I haven't messaged a single person on there that I've matched other than friends.

And I don't really know what I want. I want the female equivalent to what you described, but I don't really know when that's gonna happen, I'm not going to go searching for it, I'd rather it happens naturally but maybe that's the wrong approach? Maybe I need to be more proactive. :dontknow:
I haven't had a proper longer term relationship either. Two short term, intense exciting relationships. Not one has lasted longer than 7 months.

I don't really know, I click with certain types of people. I get on well with extroverted types and people who have a love for life. People that love travelling and being spontaneous.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 41
Some girls are naturally quite active on social media even in relationships but i'm not really sure if it increases after, largely because I don't really use it anymore. It doesn't really fit in with my cold-hearted vibe to have a cheesy facebook page...

I remember with my ex she went out straight away even though she'd still try to call me at like 2am and one of my friends didn't know and showed me a pic of her at a bar a couple of days later and she looked fine. She would have made a fine actor though. Haven't got a clue if she was upset, for how long, or if she still is, I very much doubt it, she definitely matched my coldness. I don't see it as winning really, she could have shagged one hundred guys that night but it doesn't make a difference, relationships are not a game, I no longer take an interest in your business and have no desire to compete with you, my feelings are my own and I will not let you play with them.
Original post by Virgili

I remember with my ex she went out straight away even though she'd still try to call me at like 2am and one of my friends didn't know and showed me a pic of her at a bar and she looked fine. Haven't got a clue if she was upset, for how long, or if she still is, I very much doubt it, she definitely matched my coldness. I don't see it as winning really, she could have shagged one hundred guys that night but it doesn't make a difference, relationships are not a game, I no longer take an interest in your business and have no desire to compete with you, my feelings are my own and I will not let you play with them.


I agree with this.
Original post by hezzlington
Ahh, so they're using it as a sort of revenge tool?


maybe

or maybe they are just using it as a distraction, as previously alot of their time would've been taken up with their partner, now they just have a load of time for themselves which they don't want to spend reminiscing about their ex?
Reply 44
Original post by alkaline.
maybe

or maybe they are just using it as a distraction, as previously alot of their time would've been taken up with their partner, now they just have a load of time for themselves which they don't want to spend reminiscing about their ex?


Some people just latch onto the first person they like and hope it works, and I don't know if it does, i've never been selfish enough to use someone like that. I know displacement can be very powerful but I very much doubt those strong feels just disappear, they probably get buried until you realise the new person was just a distraction and you don't really like them.
Original post by Virgili
Some people just latch onto the first person they like and hope it works, and I don't know if it does, i've never been selfish enough to use someone like that. I know displacement can be very powerful but I very much doubt those strong feels just disappear, they probably get buried until you realise the new person was just a distraction and you don't really like them.


not distraction by a specific person.

I mean just distraction in terms of like being on social media, interacting with people so they don't have time to think about their ex

but yeah some people just find a new person to "latch on too". I feel sorry for the new person really, because if you actually liked the first person more deep inside you will always prefer them.
Original post by hezzlington
what do you find interesting?

Haha tbh I don't bother with online dating, I don't feel online is the best place to meet people. I'm quite tactile, and I like to look at people in the eyes and hear their voice etc, I'm pretty physical I guess. I had Tinder but I never used it how it's meant to be used. I haven't messaged a single person on there that I've matched other than friends.

And I don't really know what I want. I want the female equivalent to what you described, but I don't really know when that's gonna happen, I'm not going to go searching for it, I'd rather it happens naturally but maybe that's the wrong approach? Maybe I need to be more proactive. :dontknow:
I haven't had a proper longer term relationship either. Two short term, intense exciting relationships. Not one has lasted longer than 7 months.

I don't really know, I click with certain types of people. I get on well with extroverted types and people who have a love for life. People that love travelling and being spontaneous.

Absolutely ****ing everything. I like reading about things then discussing them afterwards. I did the IB then began two A Levels and now I'm going to do a BASc :rofl: wbu?

I don't think I'd touch either online dating or Tinder with a bargepole. I'd much rather get to know someone irl - whilst virtual interactions can be entertaining and interesting, they're not exactly fulfilling.

Nah, I agree with you. Things don't happen properly if you force them and you'd generate all kinds of expectations and set yourself up for disappointment. Tbh, seven months is quite a long time :tongue:. I think that long relationships are difficult, especially for younger people.

Ahh yh I saw you said before you're well travelled - where have you been? :3
Original post by IFoundWonderland
Absolutely ****ing everything. I like reading about things then discussing them afterwards. I did the IB then began two A Levels and now I'm going to do a BASc :rofl: wbu?

I don't think I'd touch either online dating or Tinder with a bargepole. I'd much rather get to know someone irl - whilst virtual interactions can be entertaining and interesting, they're not exactly fulfilling.

Nah, I agree with you. Things don't happen properly if you force them and you'd generate all kinds of expectations and set yourself up for disappointment. Tbh, seven months is quite a long time :tongue:. I think that long relationships are difficult, especially for younger people.

Ahh yh I saw you said before you're well travelled - where have you been? :3


To be honest with you, I think the Tinder thing was a bit of an ego boost attempt which totally failed.

And I agree, meeting people in person and conversing with them like that is far superior, although not always practical.

haha most of my closest male friends have been with their girlfriends for over 3 years, and have houses with them and stuff. I'm really behind. No rush though!

I've been all over. I'll try and list the ones I cna think of off the top of my head.

the US (Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Vegas, Sandusky, New York [the state], New York City)

Thailand, Singapore, Hong Kong, Malta, France, Belgium, Wales, Italy, Spain, Australia, Portugal, South Africa and I'm sure there are more.

I'm planning to visit Brazil, Argentina, Colombia, New Zealand and Indonesia in the not so distant future. But I've travelled alone quite a bit so would like somebody else to go with.
Original post by hezzlington
To be honest with you, I think the Tinder thing was a bit of an ego boost attempt which totally failed.

And I agree, meeting people in person and conversing with them like that is far superior, although not always practical.

haha most of my closest male friends have been with their girlfriends for over 3 years, and have houses with them and stuff. I'm really behind. No rush though!

I've been all over. I'll try and list the ones I cna think of off the top of my head.

the US (Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Vegas, Sandusky, New York [the state], New York City)

Thailand, Singapore, Hong Kong, Malta, France, Belgium, Wales, Italy, Spain, Australia, Portugal, South Africa and I'm sure there are more.

I'm planning to visit Brazil, Argentina, Colombia, New Zealand and Indonesia in the not so distant future. But I've travelled alone quite a bit so would like somebody else to go with.

Lol I get that. There have been points in time when I wanted to do it just to see how many matches I'd get, but the fact it's linked to Facebook terrifies me. Sometimes validation is nice.

Idk if I'd call it superior, but it's definitely more satisfying. I find I learn more from the people I encounter online, but I feel happier after speaking to people irl.

Um aren't you like 23???? I swear at 23 people are just coming out of uni and getting their first proper jobs :/ that's a lot of pressure :hide:. If you compare yourself with them though, you'll always be behind. As Gabriella would say - you've got to go your own way :moon:.
Please get the reference.

Omfg I'm extremely jealous. I really really want to go to Asia, but I've never had the opportunity. I want to do the Pacific Crest Trail along the US West Coast too - only time I've been to US is an overnight stay in Miami. If I'd been able to plan my gap year properly, I would've done a lot of travelling.
Original post by IFoundWonderland
Lol I get that. There have been points in time when I wanted to do it just to see how many matches I'd get, but the fact it's linked to Facebook terrifies me. Sometimes validation is nice.

Idk if I'd call it superior, but it's definitely more satisfying. I find I learn more from the people I encounter online, but I feel happier after speaking to people irl.

Um aren't you like 23???? I swear at 23 people are just coming out of uni and getting their first proper jobs :/ that's a lot of pressure :hide:. If you compare yourself with them though, you'll always be behind. As Gabriella would say - you've got to go your own way :moon:.
Please get the reference.


Omfg I'm extremely jealous. I really really want to go to Asia, but I've never had the opportunity. I want to do the Pacific Crest Trail along the US West Coast too - only time I've been to US is an overnight stay in Miami. If I'd been able to plan my gap year properly, I would've done a lot of travelling.

There was a big thread about dating on TSR and I said I found meeting in person superior and got grilled for it.

Just how I feel :dontknow:

People finish uni at 21 usually, i'm a bit behind due to various circumstances that have happened in my life. The friends that are in long term relationships have worked since 16, they didn't do university or even sixth form, so they're much further ahead financially I suppose.

I didn't get the reference, sorry haha!

I wanna go and party in Miami it looks fun and expensive. There is so much I'd love to do but so little time/money. When I graduate I think I'm just gonna jet off and then..never come back.

:moon:

I haven't visited that much of Asia but would like to one day. Where would you go?
Original post by hezzlington
There was a big thread about dating on TSR and I said I found meeting in person superior and got grilled for it.

Just how I feel :dontknow:

Telling people whose social interactions occur overwhelmingly on TSR that real life interactions are superior is unlikely to go down well :mmm:

People finish uni at 21 usually, i'm a bit behind due to various circumstances that have happened in my life. The friends that are in long term relationships have worked since 16, they didn't do university or even sixth form, so they're much further ahead financially I suppose.

I didn't get the reference, sorry haha!

Yeah, I always think of uni as this weird transitional bubble between school and adulthood. People who go straight into work skip that and so they seem older <- idk if I'm waffling or this makes sense :colondollar:. The assistant manager of one of the stores I work in is only 19 but she seems so much older.

Spoiler



I wanna go and party in Miami it looks fun and expensive. There is so much I'd love to do but so little time/money. When I graduate I think I'm just gonna jet off and then..never come back.

:moon:

I haven't visited that much of Asia but would like to one day. Where would you go?
Miami is suffocatingly humid hot. I'm Colombian and I had a headache being outside for too long there. Urgh tell me about it. I'm hoping to get a job that allows me to travel; that would be the dream. I kind of want to do that - drift for a while and work small jobs everywhere, but there's no room for career progression or family stability if you do that :frown:

I want to go everywhere :cry2: I've done most of Europe and could do South America quite easily as I have a lot of family there. Definitely go to Colombia, it's one of the most amazing countries and the people are easily the friendliest of anywhere I've been. I've been to Iceland twice, but would like to go back and maybe do a road trip of Scandinavia. In terms of Asia - I think East and South East Asia appeal to me more than kind of central Asia and the Middle East (although this sentiment is probably spurred by current events lol). Idk, I want to go everywhere :moon:.
Reply 51
Original post by hezzlington
Something I've noticed is that a few people I know and follow on social media have broken up with their boyfriends. Immediately, the frequency of which they post, particularly selfies (also an increase in tumblr-eque quotes...) rises. Gym selfies, night out selfies, just so many ****ing selfies.

Is this a trend you guys notice as well?

So what gives?


I was in a relationship for loooonnng until relatively recentlyand I still don't post anything like that really on social media, in fact I didn't even consider it, but I do know what you mean and I think it's them trying to show the boy what they're missing I suppose/trying to find a replacement. It might also be a way of them getting an ego boost after maybe feeling not good enough for their previous bf? Idk just thoughts x x
Original post by IFoundWonderland
Telling people whose social interactions occur overwhelmingly on TSR that real life interactions are superior is unlikely to go down well :mmm:


There seems to be this belief that every guy that uses TSR is like some massive nerd that is terrified of real women. Some of us are pretty normal with fruitful social lives!!

:frown:

Original post by IFoundWonderland

Yeah, I always think of uni as this weird transitional bubble between school and adulthood. People who go straight into work skip that and so they seem older <- idk if I'm waffling or this makes sense :colondollar:. The assistant manager of one of the stores I work in is only 19 but she seems so much older.


I'd consider the first few years of working after graduate the transition to adult hood. Being a university student is really odd and doesn't real like reality. You get a big loan to pay for everything or at least contribute, you have loads of time off like easter/summer/christmas (okay it's usually spent revising but still) and people at university can be just as childish as those still in school.

Original post by IFoundWonderland

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:redface:

Original post by IFoundWonderland

Miami is suffocatingly humid hot. I'm Colombian and I had a headache being outside for too long there. Urgh tell me about it. I'm hoping to get a job that allows me to travel; that would be the dream. I kind of want to do that - drift for a while and work small jobs everywhere, but there's no room for career progression or family stability if you do that :frown:


Even New York was really humid when I went. But yeah Florida is a pretty humid place. That indeed would be the dream for me as well. Part of me wants to be really ambitious and work my way up the career ladder and get a 'good job' and have a family and all that but then the youthful side of me wants to just...drift..and float...and travel and eat and cook and surf. (and drink :colone:)

Original post by IFoundWonderland

I want to go everywhere :cry2: I've done most of Europe and could do South America quite easily as I have a lot of family there. Definitely go to Colombia, it's one of the most amazing countries and the people are easily the friendliest of anywhere I've been. I've been to Iceland twice, but would like to go back and maybe do a road trip of Scandinavia. In terms of Asia - I think East and South East Asia appeal to me more than kind of central Asia and the Middle East (although this sentiment is probably spurred by current events lol). Idk, I want to go everywhere :moon:.


I'm really lucky, I get free flights so I can and will go everywhere mwhaha. Colombian food is really tasty but because a lot of it is deep fried I feel guilty eating it. I've not visited Iceland but I'd like to go to Norway instead, and yeah Scandinavia in general would be awesome. South East Asia is fun and lots of young travellers go there. Indonesia is like heaven on Earth, my housemate is out there and he's going to Burma too, I want to join him but it's just i'm short on $$$. I'm Pakistani (half) and whilst it's a beautiful country, I don't particularly want to visit anytime soon. I don't share any similarities with the culture. I'm pretty much white. But India/China/Japan look great.

Tbh, there's still lots of places in England/Europe I want to visit. omg I want to go everywhere aswell. Life's too short.
Original post by hezzlington
There seems to be this belief that every guy that uses TSR is like some massive nerd that is terrified of real women. Some of us are pretty normal with fruitful social lives!!



speak for yourself i just ate a whole packet of hobnobs while fapping and crying simultaneously
Original post by Tabstercat
speak for yourself i just ate a whole packet of hobnobs while fapping and crying simultaneously


what made you cry?
Original post by hezzlington
There seems to be this belief that every guy that uses TSR is like some massive nerd that is terrified of real women. Some of us are pretty normal with fruitful social lives!!

:frown:

Why else would they be on TSR? If u have a life shouldn't you be living it? :curious:

Spoiler




I'd consider the first few years of working after graduate the transition to adult hood. Being a university student is really odd and doesn't real like reality. You get a big loan to pay for everything or at least contribute, you have loads of time off like easter/summer/christmas (okay it's usually spent revising but still) and people at university can be just as childish as those still in school.

But you're working with adults so you're kind of forced right into the adult world. Hahaha that's why I'm looking forward to uni so much :hoppy: it's like being a hamster.


Even New York was really humid when I went. But yeah Florida is a pretty humid place. That indeed would be the dream for me as well. Part of me wants to be really ambitious and work my way up the career ladder and get a 'good job' and have a family and all that but then the youthful side of me wants to just...drift..and float...and travel and eat and cook and surf. (and drink :colone:)

I'm really lucky, I get free flights so I can and will go everywhere mwhaha. Colombian food is really tasty but because a lot of it is deep fried I feel guilty eating it. I've not visited Iceland but I'd like to go to Norway instead, and yeah Scandinavia in general would be awesome. South East Asia is fun and lots of young travellers go there. Indonesia is like heaven on Earth, my house mate is out there and he's going to Burma too, I want to join him but it's just i'm short on $$$. I'm Pakistani (half) and whilst it's a beautiful country, I don't particularly want to visit any time soon. I don't share any similarities with the culture. I'm pretty much white. But India/China/Japan look great.

Tbh, there's still lots of places in England/Europe I want to visit. omg I want to go everywhere aswell. Life's too short.
Idk why, but USA doesn't appeal to me that much. Drifting would be so great, but I don't think I'd want to do it forever - that's the issue :frown:. There's only so much time you can spend living it up as a hippy :hippie:. You need to be able to fund these things.

WOTTTT :eek: how do you get free flights :frown: </3 I am so jealous. Nah, Colombian food is OK for like a day but it's essentially the same thing day in and day out. I really want to go to Norway too. Lapland is in Norway :love: imagine spending Christmas there oml. I really want to see the Northern Lights too. Indonesia looks so beautiful. I want to explore all of that area and swim in the oceans there :moon:. How comes you travel so much alone? I always imagine I'd want to at least go with one friend (although when I went to Venice I was essentially a fifth wheel and so spent a lot of time wandering by my friend, which was fun). Have you been to Pakistan? Yup, want to do those three :woo:

Same :five: my friends and I are saving to interrail Eastern Europe. That'll be fun :colone:

Life is the longest thing that'll ever happen to you :moon: but I agree, I'm worried I won't have the opportunities to do everything I want to :frown:
Original post by IFoundWonderland
Why else would they be on TSR? If u have a life shouldn't you be living it? :curious:

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TSR is my life now.

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Original post by IFoundWonderland

Idk why, but USA doesn't appeal to me that much. Drifting would be so great, but I don't think I'd want to do it forever - that's the issue :frown:. There's only so much time you can spend living it up as a hippy :hippie:. You need to be able to fund these things.


It depends what you're into. I prefer Southern California as the food and weather is lush and the people are nice. I love surfing too and the waves are nice.

Original post by IFoundWonderland

WOTTTT :eek: how do you get free flights :frown: </3 I am so jealous


If I told you I'd have to kill you.

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Original post by IFoundWonderland

I really want to go to Norway too. Lapland is in Norway :love: imagine spending Christmas there oml.

Is it now. Are you sure?

Original post by IFoundWonderland

I really want to see the Northern Lights too. Indonesia looks so beautiful. I want to explore all of that area and swim in the oceans there :moon:.


Same, it was a childhood dream of mine to see them. Can see them from Scotland I've heard.

Original post by IFoundWonderland

How comes you travel so much alone? I always imagine I'd want to at least go with one friend (although when I went to Venice I was essentially a fifth wheel and so spent a lot of time wandering by my friend, which was fun). Have you been to Pakistan? Yup, want to do those three :woo:


My friends are interested in places like Magaluf, Kavos etc. That does not appeal to me. There is more to life than drink and drugs.

The thought of going outside of Europe is alien to them, why would they want to? The world is a sh*thole apparently.....

I like my own company. It means I can wonder around, do my own thing etc. I'm a confident guy so meeting people isn't scary to me. I stay in hostels and there are loads of travellers so just chill with them.

Original post by IFoundWonderland

Life is the longest thing that'll ever happen to you :moon: but I agree, I'm worried I won't have the opportunities to do everything I want to :frown:


I agree. I had a massive arguement with my ex when we were together. She wanted to travel forever and I was like..but what about a career? What about working? That's part of being an adult is that you need to work hard and play hard, not just play hard.
O wow you replied fast.

Original post by hezzlington
TSR is my life now.

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Not just now - forever and ever Amen. This is your inescapable doom.



It depends what you're into. I prefer Southern California as the food and weather is lush and the people are nice. I love surfing too and the waves are nice.

I'm hoping to do my year abroad in CU :moon:. Do you surf in the UK? I tried to once with my sister and then she got stung by a giant stinging mutant fish (read: probably scraped her foot on a rock). We haven't used the surf boards since :lol:


If I told you I'd have to kill you.

Spoiler


I won't tell anyone I promise :innocent:

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Is it now. Are you sure?

It used to be. It must have migrated over the border or something :argh:


Same, it was a childhood dream of mine to see them. Can see them from Scotland I've heard.

You have to be lucky. I didn't see them either time I went to Iceland :frown:


My friends are interested in places like Magaluf, Kavos etc. That does not appeal to me. There is more to life than drink and drugs.

The thought of going outside of Europe is alien to them, why would they want to? The world is a shithole apparently.....

I like my own company. It means I can wander around, do my own thing etc. I'm a confident guy so meeting people isn't scary to me. I stay in hostels and there are loads of travellers so just chill with them.

I agree. I had a massive argument with my ex when we were together. She wanted to travel forever and I was like..but what about a career? What about working? That's part of being an adult is that you need to work hard and play hard, not just play hard.

Yup mine are too on the whole :five:. Everyone did the whole post-year-thirteen trip to Kavos last summer and I didn't go because not about that lyf. I can do about three nights out in a row but after that I really cba and if I do that it isn't for myself, but because other people want me there :rolleyes:. Your friends are mad. Europe is beautiful and established, but other places have such rich and foreign cultures - why wouldn't you want to be part of something different? even if it's just for a while.

Ahh I see, I suppose it means you can do exactly what you want and go wherever you want too.

Lol a friend said that's my life - work hard, play hard, or go home :lol: I don't like settling for less than what I want. I think that if you work for it too, reaching and maintaining that balance is possible.
Original post by IFoundWonderland
O wow you replied fast.


Since you said that I left it a few hours. :colone:




Original post by IFoundWonderland

I'm hoping to do my year abroad in CU :moon:. Do you surf in the UK? I tried to once with my sister and then she got stung by a giant stinging mutant fish (read: probably scraped her foot on a rock). We haven't used the surf boards since :lol:


I've surfed in Wales and Cornwall but I probably won't do it again. I applied to go on a surfing trip to Portugal (big waves) but I didn't get on it (limited spaces - I'm on the surfing society for uni). I'm actually terrified of the sea I always think I'm going to get stung/bitten by something.

Original post by IFoundWonderland


I won't tell anyone I promise :innocent:

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I genuinely get other people free flights as long as they come with me. It's one of the perks of having family who are high up in major airlines, I suppose.

:dontknow:

I say airlines, because I can travel for free/90% off on more than one airline :colone:


Original post by IFoundWonderland

It used to be. It must have migrated over the border or something :argh:


Tbh I always thought lapland was made up.

Original post by IFoundWonderland

Yup mine are too on the whole :five:. Everyone did the whole post-year-thirteen trip to Kavos last summer and I didn't go because not about that lyf. I can do about three nights out in a row but after that I really cba and if I do that it isn't for myself, but because other people want me there :rolleyes:. Your friends are mad. Europe is beautiful and established, but other places have such rich and foreign cultures - why wouldn't you want to be part of something different? even if it's just for a while.


I went to Kavos when I was 19 and absolutely hated it. I then vowed to never ever go back to somewhere like that. The biggest waste of my money.

Original post by IFoundWonderland

Lol a friend said that's my life - work hard, play hard, or go home :lol: I don't like settling for less than what I want. I think that if you work for it too, reaching and maintaining that balance is possible.


I don't want to sound bitter, but I think people are really lucky if they have perfected the work-life balance, especially in their mid 20s - 30s. (this is providing you are ambitious and want to progress in your career). It always seems there is a sacrifice or compromise to be made somewhere along the line; social life, health, family, friends, relationships.

I was at the shops earlier and wanted to message you because my local stocked this weird ass vegetable and it said it was sourced from Colombia. They looked like dry little buds with a yellow thing inside. I forgot what they are called. Weird name.

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