Need advice from Pakistanis / Muslims. Potentially ruined my reputation.

Do you think the Virgin Mary every kissed a man?

LOL as if all this drama from one kiss - what a ridiculous culture

x

Yes you did do something wrong, but you are human after all and everyone makes mistakes. You live and you learn. So who the heck cares about what people think? Let them think anything, it's not like they're perfect, everyone is ashamed of something they've secretly done. Allah will forgive anyone, no matter what anyone does.

Orite, orite, haram police. The OP is literally saying how she feels bad clearly she knows that's haram. No need to make her even more guilty. Ffs.

Ahem. Let's not argue here, the girl needs advice! I doubt she wants to see disagreements!

South Asians piss me off.

The problem with our society is even if you repent, Allah will forgive you but people won't. It's stupid, you way are better than those who are arrogant to admit their wrongdoings. Consider this guilt as a blessing from Allah. Allah don't disclose anything to anyone and try to move on.

I think wearing the hijab helps, especially when it comes to friends tempting you to go on nights outs and guys are less likely to leap on you.

May Allah protect you sis.

Then why was she called the Virgin Mary? Also wasn't the miracle at the time that Jesus was born without a father? Hence the term "Virgin".

South Asians piss me off.

I could really do with some advice from people that understand where I’m coming from. I feel really ashamed of myself. I know it’s a little long but I’d appreciate if people read it.

Up until the age of 22 (I’m now 23) I’d never put a foot wrong. When I started working at an office everything was great until about half a year down the line. I was kinda talked in to going out with a few friends from work one night (after work). I was like no no no and they were like yes yes yes. It was all on a whim and, in the end, I thought I’d experience it just once. I feel so ashamed about lying to my mother for a group of people I worked with who told me to do it. I told her I was sleeping at a friend’s house and she trusted me and I completely broke her trust. I feel so ****ing awful about it. On this night out, I did drink but the part that’s really getting to me is that I kissed a guy from work. He initiated it and it was literally like a prolonged peck on the mouth. I never speak to this guy.

Anyway, a few months down the line some other guy (Pakistani) starts working in the same office. His extended family knows my whole family very well and both our families know like 90% of Asians in our town. He is the biggest gossip, constantly asks me questions about whether I’ve ever drank, smoked, been on nights out etc. I’m from a pretty well-respected background and out of fear of judgement I said no (not that it was any of his business in the first place). The thing is that he’s good friends with another Asian lad at work who also happens to be good friends with the random I had a sort-of kiss with. They’re on different shifts to me and I’m so sure that they’ve talked about it / or will at some point in conversation.I’m basically so stressed out right now because he will tell his whole family and everyone in my community is going to look down on me like I’m a total slag. I’m crying right now. People are gonna talk about me and my poor mother won’t even know it. I can’t even express how ashamed I feel. It was literally the only time I did something that I wasn’t supposed to and now it’s gonna come back to haunt me. This Asian boy I work with drinks, does drugs, gambles and is cheating on the girl he claims to want to marry. But none of that matters because he’s a boy and he’s open about all of it. Me? I feel like my reputation is going to be ruined. It is eating me up inside that my mother doesn’t know and I can never tell her either. I hate myself for doing this to her.

TL;DR: The only night out I ever went on in my life, I ended up kissing a boy from work. Other Asian guy from work most likely knows about it now and he’ll tell all our mutual family friends from outside of work about it. Everyone in the Asian community is going to think I’m a slut, especially because I come from a relatively respectable background. I feel the worst for my mother who has already been through so much and then on top of that she has me for a daughter.

A kiss can potentially lead to sex. Where do you draw the line?

That's a horrible position to be in. Why don't you just tell the other dude (the one you kissed) to not mention anything about it? Or is it not that simple? Also, is that guy Pakistani too? Maybe if he isn't, he'd understand the position you're in and is more likely not to gossip about it (since a lot of desi people love gossip, back biting, etc).