The Student Room Group

The evil flatmate saga continues..(long post!)

So a few of you will know the saga I speak of, with a manipulative, evil, using, two faced cow of a flatmate I live with..
We literally can't seem to go a whole week without arguing now..

Tuesday, I was out at work, and flat 'mate' decided to have a go at me over text because I didnt empty the cat litter tray (for her cats) and because I left a half full bag of recycling in the bin..I said sorry, I forgot the cat litter, and I didnt want to waste the recycling bag..rather than let it go, she proceeded to launch into a tirade of abuse about how useless and stupid I am, how can I forget something shes told me to do every week since I moved in (she refuses to do anything involving germs ie clean anything). I finally stood up for myself against her and said fine, if shes that bothered, she can do them next week.
More abuse from her, this time including fine dont do them again then, and im never to use the bins again, then calling me several words for female and male genetilia....

I told her this point to eff off, and does she even realise how much of a bully she is, and even her friends (or more correctly ex-friends) say she is and that I should stand up to her, and theres no need for such abuse because I forgot something shes more than capable of doing too..
Apparently I was the one kicking off at her for no reason, and if I want to live in a house smelling of cat do do then go live in one and she'll have her nice house back. Remember, she doesnt do any cleaning, she will literally leave dishes unwashed for weeks (I went on holiday for a week and when I came back, there was two weeks worth waiting for me!), she smokes, she was even complaining the other day her bed smells like sex where she's had so many people in it!!
Finally her phone rant ended with sort my attitude out or move out.

When I got home, she said I had to go back out as she didnt want to see my face. When I said why can't she go out or has she finally lost every friend she had, that escalated to she wants me out of her house so pack my stuff and go, and for some randomly wierd reason about how at least she's had sex and isn't my age and never having been with anyone?? basically to try and hurt me..she is an absolute psycho!
When I argued well its half mine as I pay over half the rent and bills, her response was no its not, shes the only one on the tennancy, and when I asked is she giving back the rest of the rent, apparently 'it doesnt work like that'...

So yeah, I really do want to get out of here now as she is really annoying/depressing me with her psycho ways, but I cannot afford anywhere on my own, I know noone looking to share except one, but neither of us can afford the prices around here, so the only option is looking to be moving back home with my elderly parents, which will basically mean my life is over (and only slightly less stressful!)

Anyway, Thursday I thought we were ok again, chatting and she wanted a take away kebab delivered, so talked me into getting some too. Friday, she was begging me to do things for her like find some forms for work she forgot, photo and send them, or wait for someone to fix a box to her car etc. It was my birthday friday, but I didnt even get a card or anything off her, just a happy birthday text..
Saturday, I find out yet again, up until thursday night, literally while she was beside me while we eat, she's been slagging me off to people, about how useless and an idiot I am, how she never wants to speak to me again..how SHE can't live with ME anymore but how I didnt go on tuesday when she told me too..Wow..just wow..how two faced can this little ***** be?!!

But the best bit of all, because she knows she can't afford the flat without me, and noone else will move in with her, she was saying to a friend she'll turn to prostitution (she already does most things for free, including favours for lifts home! Charging is just the next step), and/or she'll move home with her father as his wife, her step mum, has moved out. And from what I gather, he's either open to the idea or has already said yes, so I believe she is either strongly considering or will soon for sure be moving out at short notice, meaning I have to leave anyway! Again..wow!! Bare in mind, im not even supposed to know this!!
Trouble is, she demanded rent money 2 days ago for the next lot of bills etc which ive had to pay out..If I am forced to leave, what happens then?!

I think its time to finally listen to my other friends who say how toxic this girl is, and admit finally that while she may once have been a friend, she isnt anymore, nor has she been for a while now..

My work are having a night out next weekend..I wasnt going to go, but guess I should think about it as it may be my very last ever night out the way things are going, due to no evening transport where my parents live, and my current flatmate is the only person Ive got 'out' with for the last 2-3 years!

I hate life..
(edited 7 years ago)

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:redface: She is a psycho. I feel sorry for you!
She's a bitch. I don't care if she crys, you need to tell her you do not stand for this.
She is mental. I would do anything in my power to move out. Are you a student? Some unis have emergency accommodation, I would maybe try speaking to them to see if they can help. Maybe thinking about moving into a flat share. That's what I did when I moved to London, I didn't know any of the people but is was all I could afford and people were polite enough and would chat when in the shared spaces.

Good luck!

Original post by Johnsheppard99
So a few of you will know the saga I speak of, with a manipulative, evil, using, two faced cow of a flatmate I live with..
We literally can't seem to go a whole week without arguing now..

Tuesday, I was out at work, and flat 'mate' decided to have a go at me over text because I didnt empty the cat litter tray (for her cats) and because I left a half full bag of recycling in the bin..I said sorry, I forgot the cat litter, and I didnt want to waste the recycling bag..rather than let it go, she proceeded to launch into a tirade of abuse about how useless and stupid I am, how can I forget something shes told me to do every week since I moved in (she refuses to do anything involving germs ie clean anything). I finally stood up for myself against her and said fine, if shes that bothered, she can do them next week.
More abuse from her, this time including fine dont do them again then, and im never to use the bins again, then calling me several words for female and male genetilia....

I told her this point to eff off, and does she even realise how much of a bully she is, and even her friends (or more correctly ex-friends) say she is and that I should stand up to her, and theres no need for such abuse because I forgot something shes more than capable of doing too..
Apparently I was the one kicking off at her for no reason, and if I want to live in a house smelling of cat do do then go live in one and she'll have her nice house back. Remember, she doesnt do any cleaning, she will literally leave dishes unwashed for weeks (I went on holiday for a week and when I came back, there was two weeks worth waiting for me!), she smokes, she was even complaining the other day her bed smells like sex where she's had so many people in it!!
Finally her phone rant ended with sort my attitude out or move out.

When I got home, she said I had to go back out as she didnt want to see my face. When I said why can't she go out or has she finally lost every friend she had, that escalated to she wants me out of her house so pack my stuff and go, and for some randomly wierd reason about how at least she's had sex and isn't my age and never having been with anyone?? basically to try and hurt me..she is an absolute psycho!
When I argued well its half mine as I pay over half the rent and bills, her response was no its not, shes the only one on the tennancy, and when I asked is she giving back the rest of the rent, apparently 'it doesnt work like that'...

So yeah, I really do want to get out of here now as she is really annoying/depressing me with her psycho ways, but I cannot afford anywhere on my own, I know noone looking to share except one, but neither of us can afford the prices around here, so the only option is looking to be moving back home with my elderly parents, which will basically mean my life is over (and only slightly less stressful!)

Anyway, Thursday I thought we were ok again, chatting and she wanted a take away kebab delivered, so talked me into getting some too. Friday, she was begging me to do things for her like find some forms for work she forgot, photo and send them, or wait for someone to fix a box to her car etc. It was my birthday friday, but I didnt even get a card or anything off her, just a happy birthday text..
Saturday, I find out yet again, up until thursday night, literally while she was beside me while we eat, she's been slagging me off to people, about how useless and an idiot I am, how she never wants to speak to me again..how SHE can't live with ME anymore but how I didnt go on tuesday when she told me too..Wow..just wow..how two faced can this little ***** be?!!

But the best bit of all, because she knows she can't afford the flat without me, and noone else will move in with her, she was saying to a friend she'll turn to prostitution (she already does most things for free, including favours for lifts home! Charging is just the next step), and/or she'll move home with her father as his wife, her step mum, has moved out. And from what I gather, he's either open to the idea or has already said yes, so I believe she is either strongly considering or will soon for sure be moving out at short notice, meaning I have to leave anyway! Again..wow!! Bare in mind, im not even supposed to know this!!
Trouble is, she demanded rent money 2 days ago for the next lot of bills etc which ive had to pay out..If I am forced to leave, what happens then?!

I think its time to finally listen to my other friends who say how toxic this girl is, and admit finally that while she may once have been a friend, she isnt anymore, nor has she been for a while now..

My work are having a night out next weekend..I wasnt going to go, but guess I should think about it as it may be my very last ever night out the way things are going, due to no evening transport where my parents live, and my current flatmate is the only person Ive got 'out' with for the last 2-3 years!

I hate life..
Original post by lyrical_lie
She is mental. I would do anything in my power to move out. Are you a student? Some unis have emergency accommodation, I would maybe try speaking to them to see if they can help. Maybe thinking about moving into a flat share. That's what I did when I moved to London, I didn't know any of the people but is was all I could afford and people were polite enough and would chat when in the shared spaces.

Good luck!


Unfortunetly not anymore, so thats not an option now im a 'grown up'..
Ironically flatmate was until just before xmas, when she dropped out as (self admitted) sex was more important to her with her girlfriend..

The problem with a flatshare is I dont really have anyone id trust to move in with. One guy from work is looking, but even two of us sharing we can't afford rent and bills, and this isnt even a posh/expensive area we live in..I pay £300 a month to my flatmate which includes all bills..most if not all places would cost me and workmate far more sharing elsewhere.
The other issue is because ive always been let down, and always backstabbed etc, I have severe trust issues and anxiety..as in I dont trust anyone anymore! So living with someone I don't know would be a nightmare.
And this is one of the major issues, after being backstabbed by someone I thought was one of my closest friends..
Original post by Johnsheppard99
Unfortunetly not anymore, so thats not an option now im a 'grown up'..
Ironically flatmate was until just before xmas, when she dropped out as (self admitted) sex was more important to her with her girlfriend..

The problem with a flatshare is I dont really have anyone id trust to move in with. One guy from work is looking, but even two of us sharing we can't afford rent and bills, and this isnt even a posh/expensive area we live in..I pay £300 a month to my flatmate which includes all bills..most if not all places would cost me and workmate far more sharing elsewhere.
The other issue is because ive always been let down, and always backstabbed etc, I have severe trust issues and anxiety..as in I dont trust anyone anymore! So living with someone I don't know would be a nightmare.
And this is one of the major issues, after being backstabbed by someone I thought was one of my closest friends..


Well that's annoying, I think you only have a couple of options. However firstly I think you're older but you sound a bit young so my first tip would be toughen up and ignore the stupid high school antics of he said she said. You need a solution to this situation so for example "being backstabbed by someone I thought was one of my closest friends" so now I can't ever ever consider living somewhere with people I don't know, makes you sound like you're about 15. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear but if one of my friends were acting like you I'd tell them the same.

To me it looks like these are you options.
1. Put up with the girl and hope she mellows out. Ignore her behaviour, rise above it and don't socialise/talk to her.
2. Find a friend to live with.
3. Spend more money for more options, I don't know where you live but £300pm is very little, I'm probably biased as I'm now in London, but before that I was in Glasgow which is one of the cheapest places in the U.K. So I'd see if you could up your budget and find somewhere to live alone. (However I accept that some places e.g. London that's definitely not do-able.)
4. Find a flatshare on somewhere like spareroom.com. Either you'll find great flatmates and become best friends or be polite in the halls but not friends. I was the latter when I got somewhere.
5. Move back home.

See which one of these doesn't make you squirm and if one doesn't work try a different one. However I do think you need to toughen up and stop feeling like you're in high school. You're an adult, not everyone is going to get along and I think you need to accept that.

I hope you find something that works as she does sound cray cray!
Original post by Johnsheppard99
So a few of you will know the saga I speak of, with a manipulative, evil, using, two faced cow of a flatmate I live with..
We literally can't seem to go a whole week without arguing now..

Tuesday, I was out at work, and flat 'mate' decided to have a go at me over text because I didnt empty the cat litter tray (for her cats) and because I left a half full bag of recycling in the bin..I said sorry, I forgot the cat litter, and I didnt want to waste the recycling bag..rather than let it go, she proceeded to launch into a tirade of abuse about how useless and stupid I am, how can I forget something shes told me to do every week since I moved in (she refuses to do anything involving germs ie clean anything). I finally stood up for myself against her and said fine, if shes that bothered, she can do them next week.
More abuse from her, this time including fine dont do them again then, and im never to use the bins again, then calling me several words for female and male genetilia....

I told her this point to eff off, and does she even realise how much of a bully she is, and even her friends (or more correctly ex-friends) say she is and that I should stand up to her, and theres no need for such abuse because I forgot something shes more than capable of doing too..
Apparently I was the one kicking off at her for no reason, and if I want to live in a house smelling of cat do do then go live in one and she'll have her nice house back. Remember, she doesnt do any cleaning, she will literally leave dishes unwashed for weeks (I went on holiday for a week and when I came back, there was two weeks worth waiting for me!), she smokes, she was even complaining the other day her bed smells like sex where she's had so many people in it!!
Finally her phone rant ended with sort my attitude out or move out.

When I got home, she said I had to go back out as she didnt want to see my face. When I said why can't she go out or has she finally lost every friend she had, that escalated to she wants me out of her house so pack my stuff and go, and for some randomly wierd reason about how at least she's had sex and isn't my age and never having been with anyone?? basically to try and hurt me..she is an absolute psycho!
When I argued well its half mine as I pay over half the rent and bills, her response was no its not, shes the only one on the tennancy, and when I asked is she giving back the rest of the rent, apparently 'it doesnt work like that'...

So yeah, I really do want to get out of here now as she is really annoying/depressing me with her psycho ways, but I cannot afford anywhere on my own, I know noone looking to share except one, but neither of us can afford the prices around here, so the only option is looking to be moving back home with my elderly parents, which will basically mean my life is over (and only slightly less stressful!)

Anyway, Thursday I thought we were ok again, chatting and she wanted a take away kebab delivered, so talked me into getting some too. Friday, she was begging me to do things for her like find some forms for work she forgot, photo and send them, or wait for someone to fix a box to her car etc. It was my birthday friday, but I didnt even get a card or anything off her, just a happy birthday text..
Saturday, I find out yet again, up until thursday night, literally while she was beside me while we eat, she's been slagging me off to people, about how useless and an idiot I am, how she never wants to speak to me again..how SHE can't live with ME anymore but how I didnt go on tuesday when she told me too..Wow..just wow..how two faced can this little ***** be?!!

But the best bit of all, because she knows she can't afford the flat without me, and noone else will move in with her, she was saying to a friend she'll turn to prostitution (she already does most things for free, including favours for lifts home! Charging is just the next step), and/or she'll move home with her father as his wife, her step mum, has moved out. And from what I gather, he's either open to the idea or has already said yes, so I believe she is either strongly considering or will soon for sure be moving out at short notice, meaning I have to leave anyway! Again..wow!! Bare in mind, im not even supposed to know this!!
Trouble is, she demanded rent money 2 days ago for the next lot of bills etc which ive had to pay out..If I am forced to leave, what happens then?!

I think its time to finally listen to my other friends who say how toxic this girl is, and admit finally that while she may once have been a friend, she isnt anymore, nor has she been for a while now..

My work are having a night out next weekend..I wasnt going to go, but guess I should think about it as it may be my very last ever night out the way things are going, due to no evening transport where my parents live, and my current flatmate is the only person Ive got 'out' with for the last 2-3 years!

I hate life..


Call me capt. obvious..... but why haven't you moved out already?
You need to find another job cos yeah, you aren't going to find anywhere to live at £300 p/m incl bills... but you need to move somewhere where you have a proper contract - this is the danger without one, if she chooses to kick you out right after you pay rent what are you going to do? She's screwed you over but unless you admit to living there you can't even challenge her for it and you've got no rights in terms of notice period etc. This clearly isn't an option long term, what happens if she actually kicks you out?
Original post by lyrical_lie

To me it looks like these are you options.
1. Put up with the girl and hope she mellows out. Ignore her behaviour, rise above it and don't socialise/talk to her.
2. Find a friend to live with.
3. Spend more money for more options, I don't know where you live but £300pm is very little, I'm probably biased as I'm now in London, but before that I was in Glasgow which is one of the cheapest places in the U.K. So I'd see if you could up your budget and find somewhere to live alone. (However I accept that some places e.g. London that's definitely not do-able.)
4. Find a flatshare on somewhere like spareroom.com. Either you'll find great flatmates and become best friends or be polite in the halls but not friends. I was the latter when I got somewhere.
5. Move back home.


Ive been trying option 1, but no matter how much I try and stay out of her way, or be nice, she refuses to be nice back. Tonight again shes kicked off claiming I have too much food and if I buy any more she'll kill me, and when I asked have the cats been fed I got a load of abuse after "what do you think?"..
Option 2 not really do able, as dont have many friends living near me anyway, even less that need a flatmate. Theres only one guy I know of, who like me is limited to £300 a month max.
Option 3, the rent for the flat itself is only £260 a month, then I think bills come to about £300 a month. I can't up my budget any more though as im only left with about £25 a week as it is, and almost always have to pay for food on my credit card by end of the month.
Option 4 involves my anxiety and not doing well with new people.
Option 5 seems the only realistic prospect.

Original post by Architecture-er
Call me capt. obvious..... but why haven't you moved out already?


Money, and parents keep saying theres no room for me back home with them, plus they are out of the way so my £80 a month travel bill will skyrocket.

Original post by doodle_333
You need to find another job cos yeah, you aren't going to find anywhere to live at £300 p/m incl bills... but you need to move somewhere where you have a proper contract - this is the danger without one, if she chooses to kick you out right after you pay rent what are you going to do? She's screwed you over but unless you admit to living there you can't even challenge her for it and you've got no rights in terms of notice period etc. This clearly isn't an option long term, what happens if she actually kicks you out?


I work in a supermarket on 25hrs a week..this is the longest contract ive ever had as they dont give many hours now, and theres nothing else I can do..when I was on the dole for 2 months last year, I only had about 3 interviews out of everything I applied for, and was only offered the current job im in, and that was probably because I was defecting from a competetor after 13 years.
I had to pay her the next months rent friday just gone. She started kicking off with me again tonight over trivial matters (mentioned above) and I came close to arguing back, but then I know what she'd be like. Also overheard her on the phone earlier saying its pretty much a sure thing her moving home, as shes arranging for the furniture to be given away or something! No idea when! So not sure either way how long im going to be here for! However if she does force me out this month, and doesnt give money back (she uses money from me to pay bills apparently), then i'll be keeping our 50" tv, as we paid £150 each for it so that can be her collateral! We are also meant to be going away for a weekend to London in 3 weeks, but ive got the money already for the tickets, travel and hotel for that which ive got over her at the moment..
Original post by Johnsheppard99
I work in a supermarket on 25hrs a week..this is the longest contract ive ever had as they dont give many hours now, and theres nothing else I can do..when I was on the dole for 2 months last year, I only had about 3 interviews out of everything I applied for, and was only offered the current job im in, and that was probably because I was defecting from a competetor after 13 years.
I had to pay her the next months rent friday just gone. She started kicking off with me again tonight over trivial matters (mentioned above) and I came close to arguing back, but then I know what she'd be like. Also overheard her on the phone earlier saying its pretty much a sure thing her moving home, as shes arranging for the furniture to be given away or something! No idea when! So not sure either way how long im going to be here for! However if she does force me out this month, and doesnt give money back (she uses money from me to pay bills apparently), then i'll be keeping our 50" tv, as we paid £150 each for it so that can be her collateral! We are also meant to be going away for a weekend to London in 3 weeks, but ive got the money already for the tickets, travel and hotel for that which ive got over her at the moment..


This is really not a way forward. Taking collateral? Why on earth are you going away together if you have no money and this girl is a nutter?

You need to take responsibility for your work situation, there are other jobs out there which are full time, you just need to get on with applying to them, get someone to check over your applications/CV, you will have more chance of getting jobs now you're employed.
Original post by doodle_333
This is really not a way forward. Taking collateral? Why on earth are you going away together if you have no money and this girl is a nutter?

You need to take responsibility for your work situation, there are other jobs out there which are full time, you just need to get on with applying to them, get someone to check over your applications/CV, you will have more chance of getting jobs now you're employed.


Agree with this!



Also did you used to go out with this girl is that why you're with here? Apologies if I misunderstood.
Original post by doodle_333
This is really not a way forward. Taking collateral? Why on earth are you going away together if you have no money and this girl is a nutter?

You need to take responsibility for your work situation, there are other jobs out there which are full time, you just need to get on with applying to them, get someone to check over your applications/CV, you will have more chance of getting jobs now you're employed.


No extra money if costs increase. We are going to a TV convention in london.
And there are not jobs I can do. I am pretty limited to retail because of experience, past school grades, lack of transport etc, and nowhere in retail gives many hours anymore.


Original post by lyrical_lie

Also did you used to go out with this girl is that why you're with here? Apologies if I misunderstood.


No, just friends.
Original post by Johnsheppard99
No extra money if costs increase. We are going to a TV convention in london.
And there are not jobs I can do. I am pretty limited to retail because of experience, past school grades, lack of transport etc, and nowhere in retail gives many hours anymore.


No, just friends.


yeah, that's all just excuses... I know people working full time in retail, you can still learn a skill, care work, basic admin, restaurants/bars, cleaning etc, there are a lot of jobs which don't require lots of qualifications and you can cycle anywhere within a 10 mile radius so transport shouldn't prevent you reaching your nearest town unless you're really living in the wrong place
Original post by Johnsheppard99
No extra money if costs increase. We are going to a TV convention in london.
And there are not jobs I can do. I am pretty limited to retail because of experience, past school grades, lack of transport etc, and nowhere in retail gives many hours anymore.




No, just friends.


Fair enough, also if you're looking to move anyway that would open your job opportunities.
Original post by doodle_333
yeah, that's all just excuses... I know people working full time in retail, you can still learn a skill, care work, basic admin, restaurants/bars, cleaning etc, there are a lot of jobs which don't require lots of qualifications and you can cycle anywhere within a 10 mile radius so transport shouldn't prevent you reaching your nearest town unless you're really living in the wrong place


Really..REALLY?? The only people I know who work full time in retail are managers, and people who started 20+ years ago..EVERYTHING is tiny flexi contracts now. I had 18hrs a week in Tesco, 8hrs a week in Next guarenteed, and in my current place im up to 25hrs a week after I was given another 4 a few weeks ago. Most people I know are under 20hrs a week contracted.
Learn what skills in particular? I couldn't do any of those example jobs. There are next to no jobs that dont require qualifications or being able to drive around Cardiff. Even to get into the city center of cardiff, it takes me over an hour on the bus, and most companies think thats too long.
I also cannot cycle more than about a mile or two. I started last year, badly broke my arm falling off, not been back on it since.

I currently live in a big town, but will be having to move into the countryside to basically a retirement village were busses are only every 40 mins, so to get to work 5 miles away, I'll need to leave about an hour at the absolute latest but if it doesnt arrive, I can't even walk it like I do now.

Original post by lyrical_lie
Fair enough, also if you're looking to move anyway that would open your job opportunities.


I can't move away either, nowhere to go, noone I know elsewhere etc
Stop being a pussy, tell her to **** off, don't budge and inch from now on.

I'd ****ing not feed her ****ing disgusting animals, I wouldn't lift a finger for her. ffs why do you take that crap.

Mate why are you living alone with her, makes no sense to me. Presumably you have feelings for her (otherwise I dont see why she'd have this power over you). Lose them, become a man and find a real woman.
Original post by Johnsheppard99
No extra money if costs increase. We are going to a TV convention in london.
And there are not jobs I can do. I am pretty limited to retail because of experience, past school grades, lack of transport etc, and nowhere in retail gives many hours anymore.




No, just friends.


this is prescribing yourself failure. It's ****ing hard to get a full time job, but you have a work record, you could if your spent all of your energy on it do it. No shame in working part time as you do now, providing for yourself is respectable, but you will never achieve anything more in life with that attitude.

I get the sense you lack self esteem due to the fact you put up with this crap, and don't think you can get a job. In reality, all your reasons seem to me to be problems you can solve.

Bus takes too long? Get one earlier?

You don't cycle due to some kind of fear falling off? Conquer your fear.

You dont need a job job to earn money. Look around, see if anyone needs crap moving or whatever and say "can I help for a tenner"?

Do you not have family you can beg work from?

None of this is easy, nut problems require solutions of some kind.
Original post by banterboy
Stop being a pussy, tell her to **** off, don't budge and inch from now on.

I'd ****ing not feed her ****ing disgusting animals, I wouldn't lift a finger for her. ffs why do you take that crap.

Mate why are you living alone with her, makes no sense to me. Presumably you have feelings for her (otherwise I dont see why she'd have this power over you). Lose them, become a man and find a real woman.


She's going in a couple of weeks.
And her cat's are going with her.
Two more weeks to put up with this then its over.

And yes, she's still one of my closest 'friends', and I did one day hope she'd think of me as more but that changed when I found out what she thought of me. Trouble is, when she goes, ive got practically no friends to 'see' anymore.
I see people in work, but I dont hang out with them, nor can I as can't afford too and as i'll be living in another village, that will prevent me seeing people too. The ONLY times ive been 'out' in the past 3 years, has been with her due to having somewhere to stay that evening, or a couple of times with people from work as I lived close enough to walk home.
The only people i'll have for company and to hang out with will be all online, and I may see them 2-3 times a year. I honestly feel I may go back to wanting to kill myself from lonliness..
Original post by Johnsheppard99
She's going in a couple of weeks.
And her cat's are going with her.
Two more weeks to put up with this then its over.

And yes, she's still one of my closest 'friends', and I did one day hope she'd think of me as more but that changed when I found out what she thought of me. Trouble is, when she goes, ive got practically no friends to 'see' anymore.
I see people in work, but I dont hang out with them, nor can I as can't afford too and as i'll be living in another village, that will prevent me seeing people too. The ONLY times ive been 'out' in the past 3 years, has been with her due to having somewhere to stay that evening, or a couple of times with people from work as I lived close enough to walk home.
The only people i'll have for company and to hang out with will be all online, and I may see them 2-3 times a year. I honestly feel I may go back to wanting to kill myself from lonliness..


Think of the positives; a village might be more close nit. Go into the pub. There will be working men. If you can befriend them, they might have odd jobs for you to do.

You're not worthless. You've got yourself work and survived with, from what I can tell, a very poor social network without a lot of help. Now you can start a fresh somewhere else. That's the useful way to look at your predicament.
Original post by banterboy
this is prescribing yourself failure. It's ****ing hard to get a full time job, but you have a work record, you could if your spent all of your energy on it do it. No shame in working part time as you do now, providing for yourself is respectable, but you will never achieve anything more in life with that attitude.


I think I mentioned before, when I was on the dole for 2 months last year, I had hardly anything available/offered..I think I had three in person interviews, and one phone interview which I wasnt even told was one, as I was babysitting nephews.
I kept being rejected because from parents village due to public transport, I can't work before 9am or after 8pm, or I wasnt confident enough. And I get very easily stressed on the phone to anyone.

Original post by banterboy

Bus takes too long? Get one earlier?

You don't cycle due to some kind of fear falling off? Conquer your fear.


I already do! But leaving hour and a half early, often for a 4hr shift, is a little excessive!)
And one of the main reasons I dont cycle is because bike is as parents, and also I am so unfit.

Original post by banterboy

You dont need a job job to earn money. Look around, see if anyone needs crap moving or whatever and say "can I help for a tenner"?

Do you not have family you can beg work from?


And thats where those types of cash in hand things require own transport..relying on public transport rules out a lot of legal things.
No no family, parents and grandparents moved across the uk when I was 4 and basically cut off contact with the rest of the family. Grandparents are all dead.

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