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Original post by Ribbit1234
What if she lies and says she hasn't had a promiscuous past when she really did. u wouldn't even know. ' Good women are for good men'. You're not getting no virgin wifey


Allah will give him the wife he deserves hopeufully.

Although I have seen before, good men who end up with bad women, and vice versa. It's quite sad really. Just do your personal best and pray for an equal partner :tongue:
Original post by Anonymous
Allah will give him the wife he deserves hopeufully.

Although I have seen before, good men who end up with bad women, and vice versa. It's quite sad really. Just do your personal best and pray for an equal partner :tongue:

Hopefully he gets a wife that has been promiscuous in the past but lies and says she's a virgin. It would serve him right, with his double standard sexist disgusting attitude
Original post by samina_ay
Past is the past


I used to be a serial killer in the past , but you know the " past is the past".
So many anons lool
Original post by Anonymous
The more a female has sex the more her down there stretches


No it doesn't :facepalm:
Original post by TSR Mustafa
I used to be a serial killer in the past , but you know the " past is the past".


thats a totally new concept - therefore your arguement is invalid :smile:

And, "good men are for good women and good women are for good men" like Allah says - so why are you worrying for? Leave it to Allah
female, no, but it depends on how you lost it. If it was relationship then no. if it was rape. then thats a different thing altogether
Original post by Anonymous
Wondering. I'm a Muslim myself, but not a virgin, unfortunately. Long story I don't want to get into. Well, would you have a problem? Please state your gender too. I'm a female.


Honestly don't worry. In Islam, marriage is encouraged a lot, and refusing to marry someone because of something that isn't really relevant (looks, money, virginity) is a sin (i think). Prophet Muhammad's (pbuh) wife Khadija was not a virgin when he married her. In Islam it is also encouraged to marry divorced/widowed women and look after their children. It honestly doesn't mater, you just have to repent about losing your virginity before marriage, because you have sinned.

If your husband/boyfriend/fiance disrespects you or treats you badly because he wasn't the first one to take your virginity, he's not a good Muslim and is selfish. A good Muslim man would respect and love his wife, as she is a blessing. :wink:

I, personally, would tell my boyfriend that I'm not a virgin (I'm female) , if he really loves me, he probably won't care, because now he has me.

Tbh the only main concern my husband would have is whether or not I used protection, in case I got any STD's :s-smilie:

So don't worry! A good person would respect you, no matter if you were a virgin or not! :biggrin:
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Against_Systems
Honestly don't worry. In Islam, marriage is encouraged a lot, and refusing to marry someone because of something that isn't really relevant (looks, money, virginity) is a sin (i think). Prophet Muhammad's (pbuh) wife Khadija was not a virgin when he married her. In Islam it is also encouraged to marry divorced/widowed women and look after their children. It honestly doesn't mater, you just have to repent about losing your virginity before marriage, because you have sinned.

If your husband/boyfriend/fiance disrespects you or treats you badly because he wasn't the first one to take your virginity, he's not a good Muslim and is selfish. A good Muslim man would respect and love his wife, as she is a blessing. :wink:

I, personally, would tell my boyfriend that I'm not a virgin (I'm female) , if he really loves me, he probably won't care, because now he has me.

Tbh the only main concern my husband would have is whether or not I used protection, in case I got any STD's :s-smilie:

So don't worry! A good person would respect you, no matter if you were a virgin or not! :biggrin:


refusing to marry because someone is not a virgin is NOT a sin.
Khadijah was only not a virgin because she married once before, not due to fornication or pre-martial sex. She was a widow.

There is a lot of reward for marrying widowed women, but in Islam it is still in preference to marry a virgin first.

Respect for any individual should be given regardless of virginity.

Original post by samina_ay
Leave it to Allah


best advice.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by samina_ay
Past is the past


Wrong.
Original post by alkaline.
refusing to marry because someone is not a virgin due to their own choice is not SIN.
Khadijah was only not a virgin because she married once before, not due to fornication or pre-martial sex. She was a widow.

There is a lot of reward for marrying widowed women, but in Islam it is still in preference to marry a virgin first.


Oops! Sorry for the mistake! But since marriage is so encouraged in Islam, having preferences is considered slightly selfish. If two people have a Halal relationship together, then that is good. Whether or not one or both have sinned in the past, it is up to the spouse to help the other become a better Muslim. Yes, it is preferred to be a virgin, but a good husband would make the OP a better Muslim (not that she is a bad Muslim - but couple are meant to help each other) and also respect her.
Original post by Against_Systems
Oops! Sorry for the mistake! But since marriage is so encouraged in Islam, having preferences is considered slightly selfish. If two people have a Halal relationship together, then that is good. Whether or not one or both have sinned in the past, it is up to the spouse to help the other become a better Muslim. Yes, it is preferred to be a virgin, but a good husband would make the OP a better Muslim (not that she is a bad Muslim - but couple are meant to help each other) and also respect her.


"having preferences is slightly selfish"
you are only allowed to be with ONE person for your whole life.
you have to practically worship and obey your spouse.
may as well lay down your preferences before marriage and marry someone you are willing to do all this for. I guess it all depends on how much they care about whether their wife has been by penetrated another/multiple males since she couldn't seem to wait for him.

I think it is completely fine to have preferences/even demands or set a certain standards as long as you are not being hypocritical.

yes being a good spouse and helping each other is important.
Muslims, don't marry these hoes, I am an Atheist and would only marry a virgin
Yes to non-virgin, no to unchaste. According to the holy Qur'an, a fornicator is forbidden from marrying anybody who is chaste.
Original post by Ribbit1234
Hopefully he gets a wife that has been promiscuous in the past but lies and says she's a virgin. It would serve him right, with his double standard sexist disgusting attitude


It wouldn't really be revenge if he doesn't know the truth.
Original post by TSR Mustafa
I used to be a serial killer in the past , but you know the " past is the past".


Different context you dumbass moron
Original post by Anonymous
And she can also prefer you to be a virgin too. Allah hates the hypocrites, fix up brother.


I used to be a Muslim. I'm an Atheist now. But I pretend to be a Muslim in real life for obvious reasons.

She can prefer me to be a virgin as much as she likes.
Original post by Anonymous
Different context you dumbass moron

used woman detected
Original post by alkaline.

you are only allowed to be with ONE person for your whole life.


I'm pretty sure Islam allows divorce and get married again. There are examples of Muslim men having more than one wife too.



Original post by alkaline.

you have to practically worship and obey your spouse.may as well lay down your preferences before marriage and marry someone you are willing to do all this for.


I realise that. I did not say that you can't have preferences but refusing to marry someone because they are not what you imagined you wanted, and trying to embarrass them because of that, is not good. I realise I should have made this clearer before.



Original post by alkaline.
I guess it all depends on how much they care about whether their wife has been by penetrated another/multiple males since she couldn't seem to wait for him.



The OP didn't want to relay the story of how she lost her virginity, so we cannot assume that she "couldn't seem to wait for him". We also cannot assume that she has been "penetrated" by "multiple" men. As we don't know enough about the situation, we have to be unbiased when answering her question. Also, I don't think it matters how many times she has had sex.



Original post by alkaline.
I think it is completely fine to have preferences/even demands or set a certain standards as long as you are not being hypocritical.



I didn't clearly state what I meant before and as a result there has been some confusion. What I meant to add was that if a Muslim man and woman were going to get married, but one didn't want the other due to things like lack of money/looks are loss of virginity, it is selfish as the two supposedly love each other and marriage is meant to be the unification between two people. However you are entitled to your own opinion, and reading what you wrote has made me look at the situation from a different perspective, thank you for that.




Now for the OP:


"Generally, it's not allowed for a believer to marry anyone who has had premarital sex.Allah said in Surah an-Nisa 24:3 =

"The fornicator does not marry except a fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the believers."

However, if the person makes toubah and asks for forgiveness, then the sin is not held against them. Because Allah said in Surah aali-Imran 3:135=

"And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves, remember Allah and seek forgiveness for their sins - and who can forgive sins except Allah ? - and do not persist in what they have done while they know."

And there are many similar verses. If repentance and forgiveness is asked by the sinner, than marriage can take place between a non-fornicator and a fornicator (premarital sex).

Now the issue with virgins, you have to understand being a non-virgin doesn't mean the person is a fornicator. People who have sex while married are non-virgin and still considered pure and not fornicators.

So it makes no difference if the person is a virgin or a non-virgin."


http://islam.stackexchange.com/questions/12521/can-a-virgin-muslim-man-marry-a-non-virgin-by-premarital-sex-unmarried-muslim
Original post by Against_Systems
I realise that. I did not say that you can't have preferences but refusing to marry someone because they are not what you imagined you wanted, and trying to embarrass them because of that, is not good. I realise I should have made this clearer before

Seems perfectly reasonable to me

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