I will admit, this is the first time i'm doing this (sorry for the length), so bear with me. I'm only doing this, because quite frankly i've exhausted all resources or counsellors close to me without rousing any attention (i.e. asked extremely close friends on what to do; and even gone as far as googling to see if anyone is in similar positions to me). I'm also doing this behind anon (or should be) because some of the people on here go to my uni and have met my girlfriend. Here we go..
got a gf at uni, turns out she's an insecure, controlling, manipulative bitch who when drunk looses all types of self-control and takes it all out on those close to her. she has a type of: 'mean-sweet-mean' cycle. at the start it was bliss. couldn't imagine i'd met someone like her. then she started getting violent (emotionally) and telling me stories of violent instances (which i think would be a type of scare tactic?). we'd get home after a night out; and she'd start having a go at me for dancing close to other girls (random people. crowded club. go figure); looking at other girls; standing close to other girls and then guilt-tripping me by using the fact that she 'loves' me to stop me leaving. one night, she went to the toilets, came back found a girl who wanted to buy me drinks; then at home, had a two hour rant at me for even holding a convo with the girl (i was trying to turn her down like i said). she thinks, if a girl talks to me, i should shout at her face until girl leaves. i'm not violent like that; and despite the fact that time after time i come back home to and with her; she doesn't trust me. at all.
then afterwards, she paid for trip to cardiff (spent £300 on me in a weekend); but couldn't deal with the fact other girls were hitting on me (she hates making new friends) and the same thing happened. i figure because she got raped in the past and subsequently cheated on twice by her ex; that, that was the reason for her insecurity. recently, she's gotten controlling not allowing me to have female friends (gave one of those friends a hug and she had a go at me in public in front of her friends and family); ultra defensive, belittles me, seeks Constant validation; holds grudges, over-reacts with any little thing; an unnatural temper; prevents me from having outside interests when she's at mine; anything i do isn't enough for her; always felt like i was on egg-shells with her; extremely entitled and it's depressed me that she's like this. in addition, she'd turn anything i did; into an attempt to leave her/for other girls. be it learning how to dance/guitar skills etc. for my second relationship, this is toxic and i'm quite devasted tbh.
at this point i asked close friends what to do, the consensus being to break up with her and become her friend; but to then leave if she didn't show any signs of becoming a better person (i.e. going to counselling/seeking help). it is also at this point i brought up the matter to her and she 'promised' to seek help/become a better person. spoilers: she didn't. in fact, after suggesting that she seeks help; she literally shouted at me saying she'd break up with me if i brought it up again and accused me of calling her a freak/mental person who deserves to be in an institute. i'm only doing this to make her a better person.
After asking her why she's like this she said that whenever she's with me, she feels to compete with everyone else; sighting the fact that i'm younger than her meaning (to her) that she can't hold me down. what do i do? do i take the advice and become a friend and leave her?