Boyfriend hates condoms
What's the best thing to do if my boyfriend doesn't like using condoms. We have been using them but he's usually sarcastic and complains that they ruin sex. When I first met him he wanted sex one night but had no condoms he moved on top of me and said 'shall we try it' I said 'we've no condoms I'l have to get some' he said ' I know you arn't on the pill or anything like that but I can pull out'. I was reluctant mainly because he has had lots of relationships and I didn't want to risk catching anything so we didn't have sex. We have condoms now but yea he doesn't like them at all. I don't want to go on the pill/get implants or any of that stuff I tried it once for period cramps and didn't like going through the nausea/sickness even if it does subside. I'm sure other couples have this issue but how is it usually resolved, by breaking up lol?
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Pulling out is not at all safe or reliable as a means of contraception.
Usage of condoms is not only intended to prevent pregnancy, but STIs as well.
Usage of condoms is not only intended to prevent pregnancy, but STIs as well.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by apronedsamurai
Pulling out is not at all safe or reliable as a means of contraception.
Usage of condoms is not only intended to prevent pregnancy, but STIs as well.
Usage of condoms is not only intended to prevent pregnancy, but STIs as well.
But they're no fun.
Original post by physicsphysics91
But they're no fun.
Neither is HIV.
I guess it depends on a lot of factors on your relationship, but condoms are very sensible and should not simply be pushed aside because they don't feel as good.
He needs to understand what could happen, and as said above, pulling out is not a good choice with no contraception whatsoever. The only thing you can do is assure him that condoms are your best bet, and you feel much secure with them. He will either have to get used to it or you will need to have more serious discussions with him about trust, risk and unwanted pregnancy but to him that should be obvious.
He needs to understand what could happen, and as said above, pulling out is not a good choice with no contraception whatsoever. The only thing you can do is assure him that condoms are your best bet, and you feel much secure with them. He will either have to get used to it or you will need to have more serious discussions with him about trust, risk and unwanted pregnancy but to him that should be obvious.
Original post by Anonymous
What's the best thing to do if my boyfriend doesn't like using condoms. We have been using them but he's usually sarcastic and complains that they ruin sex. When I first met him he wanted sex one night but had no condoms he moved on top of me and said 'shall we try it' I said 'we've no condoms I'l have to get some' he said ' I know you arn't on the pill or anything like that but I can pull out'. I was reluctant mainly because he has had lots of relationships and I didn't want to risk catching anything so we didn't have sex. We have condoms now but yea he doesn't like them at all. I don't want to go on the pill/get implants or any of that stuff I tried it once for period cramps and didn't like going through the nausea/sickness even if it does subside. I'm sure other couples have this issue but how is it usually resolved, by breaking up lol?
I'd dump him, if he can't have the empathy that hormonal contraception makes you unwell then he's not worth your time in my head.
So, in my experience too condoms are lousy for good sex, but of course a decision not to use them must be mutual. For me it has been fine in the a early days of a relationship but something I have valued is a stable loving relationship where we can consider an alternative. Sadly, although we can do virtually everything in medical science now a hormonal male contraceptive still defeats the finest brains and guys can't share the burden.
I think he has to go with your pace but at some point if you are committed it might be reasonable to consider some alternatives. There are other non hormonal options albeit each with their own difficulty and disadvantage. Good luck.
I think he has to go with your pace but at some point if you are committed it might be reasonable to consider some alternatives. There are other non hormonal options albeit each with their own difficulty and disadvantage. Good luck.
bun him, hes some next level sideman
Original post by apronedsamurai
Neither is HIV.
Chances of getting HIV are low, even unprotected with a carrier.
Original post by physicsphysics91
Chances of getting HIV are low, even unprotected with a carrier.
Yes, true. But there is still the risk of gonorrhoea, syphilis, Chlamydia, to name but a few
Original post by physicsphysics91
Chances of getting HIV are low, even unprotected with a carrier.
Who cares how low the chance is? It's still a chance. Plus there are plenty of other STI's that where the chance of catching it is highly likely. Sorry but health is more important than the fact you don't think sex with a condom is "as fun".
Original post by physicsphysics91
Chances of getting HIV are low, even unprotected with a carrier.
http://imgur.com/gallery/fZFrM
Soooo did you both get tested in the end?
It is very important for my partner to care about my wellbeing. If i have experienced side effects after taking the pill etc, then I'd like to think my boyfriend would agree to wear a condom so I wouldn't have to go through it again until we agree on trying another form of contraception.
It is very important for my partner to care about my wellbeing. If i have experienced side effects after taking the pill etc, then I'd like to think my boyfriend would agree to wear a condom so I wouldn't have to go through it again until we agree on trying another form of contraception.
(edited 8 years ago)
he sounds like an *******...
it is tough because he can't just take a pill himself, hormonal BC is only an option for girls, but at the end of the day it's your body and if you don't want to take BC pills or have something inserted or whatever that is 100% okay and he should respect it regardless of whether it's for side effects reasons or just because you don't want to, there are risks involved in all those methods of birth control so it is your choice whether they are worth taking
he certainly should never be pressuring you into having unprotected sex, pulling out is really ineffective and it is YOU who is going to be landed with either a baby or abortion if the worst happens (which it will eventually if you use this method)
he should get tested before you have sex without a condom either way but if he doesn't want to have sex with a condom tell him he can just not bother and if he keeps moaning tell him you don't wanna screw him if it's going to be such a disappointment to him, sex is better without a condom for both parties but it's your body being affected by BC/pregnancy so it's your decision, not his
it is tough because he can't just take a pill himself, hormonal BC is only an option for girls, but at the end of the day it's your body and if you don't want to take BC pills or have something inserted or whatever that is 100% okay and he should respect it regardless of whether it's for side effects reasons or just because you don't want to, there are risks involved in all those methods of birth control so it is your choice whether they are worth taking
he certainly should never be pressuring you into having unprotected sex, pulling out is really ineffective and it is YOU who is going to be landed with either a baby or abortion if the worst happens (which it will eventually if you use this method)
he should get tested before you have sex without a condom either way but if he doesn't want to have sex with a condom tell him he can just not bother and if he keeps moaning tell him you don't wanna screw him if it's going to be such a disappointment to him, sex is better without a condom for both parties but it's your body being affected by BC/pregnancy so it's your decision, not his
OP, advise your boyfriend to experiment with different types of condom. There are a large variety of types, I am quite certain that he can find one that suits his requirements.
What kind of commitment is he making to you for you to even be remotely considering bare back sex? The risk of sti aside (and in my opinion any risk taken in this arena is a high one), is he in a financial position to maintain you and a child if you were to become pregnant? And would he be willing?
What kind of commitment is he making to you for you to even be remotely considering bare back sex? The risk of sti aside (and in my opinion any risk taken in this arena is a high one), is he in a financial position to maintain you and a child if you were to become pregnant? And would he be willing?
Original post by Anonymous
What's the best thing to do if my boyfriend doesn't like using condoms. We have been using them but he's usually sarcastic and complains that they ruin sex. When I first met him he wanted sex one night but had no condoms he moved on top of me and said 'shall we try it' I said 'we've no condoms I'l have to get some' he said ' I know you arn't on the pill or anything like that but I can pull out'. I was reluctant mainly because he has had lots of relationships and I didn't want to risk catching anything so we didn't have sex. We have condoms now but yea he doesn't like them at all. I don't want to go on the pill/get implants or any of that stuff I tried it once for period cramps and didn't like going through the nausea/sickness even if it does subside. I'm sure other couples have this issue but how is it usually resolved, by breaking up lol?
Hey, you shouldn't worry about it. Maybe you should sit down and talk about it...It happened with me previously but the best thing is making sure that you are both on the same page. I went on the pill and had a lot of the major side effects..also the pill has very bad long term effects for women so I do not recommend it at all. However, if you do wanna try with out condoms-both of you should get tested for STDs, by both I mean you too so that it does look fair and then if you do trust him go for it. But I definitely do not recommend the pull out method coz guys do occasionally have pre-cum which can also lead to unwanted pregnancies. Don't worry about what other people are saying. Go with your gut. But you shouldn't break up with him over something like this. I know that it is serious-but just talk about it. It makes a difference, you can get the chance to clear the air!
Good Luck with your decision
What about the female condom? I've never used it but I remember my GP said it was an option when I was also reluctant to go on the pill.. It's just a thin, plastic material that you insert inside your vagina and it will prevent semen from getting to the womb, as well as protecting you from any STI's. You'll still feel his willy and he'll still feel the walls of your vagina, and so he might prefer that option.
There's also these contraceptive injections which I think is a fairly new thing. You're injected once every 12-13 weeks, so that's another option?
I hope you find something that suits the both of you, OP.
There's also these contraceptive injections which I think is a fairly new thing. You're injected once every 12-13 weeks, so that's another option?
I hope you find something that suits the both of you, OP.
Original post by Anonymous
What's the best thing to do if my boyfriend doesn't like using condoms. We have been using them but he's usually sarcastic and complains that they ruin sex. When I first met him he wanted sex one night but had no condoms he moved on top of me and said 'shall we try it' I said 'we've no condoms I'l have to get some' he said ' I know you arn't on the pill or anything like that but I can pull out'. I was reluctant mainly because he has had lots of relationships and I didn't want to risk catching anything so we didn't have sex. We have condoms now but yea he doesn't like them at all. I don't want to go on the pill/get implants or any of that stuff I tried it once for period cramps and didn't like going through the nausea/sickness even if it does subside. I'm sure other couples have this issue but how is it usually resolved, by breaking up lol?
Original post by apronedsamurai
Pulling out is not at all safe or reliable as a means of contraception.
Usage of condoms is not only intended to prevent pregnancy, but STIs as well.
Usage of condoms is not only intended to prevent pregnancy, but STIs as well.
pull out game is weak
Do not have unprotected sex. Get yourself and him tested and get professional advice. Stay protected. Your own body and health is more important than his sexual satisfaction.
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