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Parents Pressuring me into Medicine

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If you love money, have decent mathematical ability, and have a good interest in our society, why not try Economics?
Original post by Andy Social

Spoiler


Essentially, what I'm asking is:
Should I do medicine? No, not if you don't want to. You have excellent grades and are interested in science - that doesn't have to equal medicine! If you do it just because of parental pressure, you'll probably hate it, and be miserable, which won't make you any good as a doctor.
How do I get my parents to accept me not doing medicine? There's no easy way, but they can't actually force you to fill in a UCAS form for medicine. Maybe once you start getting offers and if you make good grades and have a good time at uni, they'll eventually come round.
Any recommendations for science (chemistry/biology) degrees? With grades like yours, but not being sure what course to take, how about a Natural Sciences course at e.g. Cambridge or Durham? You start off with a fairly broad base, then choose your specialism later on. Otherwise, a Biochem/other related science degree from any good uni (this actually does matter for non-medicine courses!) seems sensible.
What are the jobs/job opportunities/stability/wages like? Completely variable, but if you're good then there are loads of opportunities. Lots of my friends at Cambridge did NatSci, and they have a huge range of careers. About half did PhDs and some of those have stayed in academia doing research, others have gone to work for pharma companies, NICE, the Met Office, exam boards, various consultancies, or have switched track completely to things like accountancy. Wages in research aren't great (but are better in life sciences than arts) but are liveable on; some of the others earn considerably more than I do as a doctor.
Any further life advice? ( I need it) It's your life, not your parents. There are LOADS of useful things you can do in life with your grades, and only one of them is medicine. Oh, and regarding PhD funding, if you decide that's for you, don't worry about it too much. Funding for life/biosciences PhDs is still pretty good (someone's got to find that cure for cancer!) so you get more money than as an undergrad student. I think most are between £15-20K p.a. tax free - not brilliant, but you won't starve.
Thank you very much in advance for your responses (and I'm very sorry for the whiny, rambling, fwp post).


Answers in bold. Good luck.



On that link, the picture for 'medical practitioners' looks exactly like the OP's avatar!
http://www.savethestudent.org/uploads/doctor.jpg

How ironic!
Original post by Ishan_2000
On that link, the picture for 'medical practitioners' looks exactly like the OP's avatar!
http://www.savethestudent.org/uploads/doctor.jpg

How ironic!


wat house looks nothing like the chibi in my avatar o.o
Original post by thefatone
wat house looks nothing like the chibi in my avatar o.o


No, not your avatar :biggrin:
The avatar of the guy/girl who started this thread!
Natural Sciences
Original post by Ishan_2000
No, not your avatar :biggrin:
The avatar of the guy/girl who started this thread!


oh that's because it's the same guy -.- ._.
Reply 27
Original post by Andy Social
I love science, have 12 A*s at GCSE, 4 As at AS level, am predicted 3 A*s at a level (biology, chemistry, maths) and am involved in many extra-curriculars (mentoring, sport, orchestras, grade 8 distinctions in instruments etc.). Basically, I'm a stereotypical med school applicant. The problem? I really, really, really, really, REALLY don't want to do medicine (I think). My social/people skills are pretty abysmal, I'm selfish and uncaring, I don't find the nobility/helping others/prestige of medicine appealing and I just generally feel I don't have any of the key qualities/personality traits needed to be a good doctor. Furthermore, I'm fairly certain I wouldn't enjoy the job - the degree may be fine for me, but the career after it wouldn't be. My parents and many of my siblings have done medicine (so I guess I have some first-hand experience of its 'reality':wink: and I feel this is the only reason I've ever considered it. That and the money and job stability. Sorry for rambling on so much...
Basically, I told my parents I wasn't doing medicine. Perhaps predictably, they exploded. The past few days have been filled with screaming, financial and emotional blackmail, screaming, threats, screaming, and them saying (screaming) that I'll never get a job/house/decent wage/car/fridge/microwave/private jet etc.
I've been looking into science degrees (I really enjoy chemistry and biology so I was thinking biochemistry - any advice/experience/recommendations would be amazing) but I am worried about job opportunities/stability/wages (perhaps just a product of my parents' brain-washing over the years that medicine is the only route). Research seems like something I'd enjoy, but I don't come from a wealthy background (and my parents won't be supporting me at all, apparently) so I don't know how I'd afford to do a PhD. (Really sorry for rambling again).
Essentially, what I'm asking is:
Should I do medicine?
How do I get my parents to accept me not doing medicine?
Any recommendations for science (chemistry/biology) degrees?
What are the jobs/job opportunities/stability/wages like?
Any further life advice? ( I need it)
Thank you very much in advance for your responses (and I'm very sorry for the whiny, rambling, fwp post).



DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT DO MEDICINE

I was bullied and pushed into medicine. I begged my parents to let me change course and was told I would get disowned by the family if I did this.

I hated my job. Hated it. I managed to come top of the entire University of Cambridge in the exams. However it all went (more) wrong when I started practising medicine. I felt awkward around patients, got ticked off all the time by my seniors for "poor eye contact". Hated every single minute of the job. Used to vomit in the toilets every morning due to anxiety. Ended up with clinical depression.

The fact is medicine is a tough career for anyone. If you do not want to be a doc it is a million times tougher.

In the end I got sacked and won a disability discrimination case. At the time the doctors thought I had bipolar, but it was only after quitting medicine, and my MH stabilising, they realised I had been misdiagnosed and I actually have Asperger's.

I wasted 5 years and 3 months of my life at medical school and another 7 years doing a job I loathed.

Next year I am starting a degree in physics. This is what I wanted to do aged 18.

Do not screw up your life doing the wrong job.
Original post by thefatone
oh that's because it's the same guy -.- ._.


Oh, thought it was a coincidence.....feel stupid now.
Original post by Ishan_2000
Oh, thought it was a coincidence.....feel stupid now.


lol .-.
Reply 30
Original post by Andy Social
OP


If you don't wanna do medicine, why is your avatar Dr House? :colone:

Joke aside, if you don't want to do there is absolutely no reason why you should. Biochemistry is very similar to part of the medical course, in fact I learnt the whole of first year biochem in preclin (years 1&2).

It will be nearly impossible to get your parents to accept you not doing medicine but opt to do a related course like biochemistry. Objectively the prospects (opportunities, stability, wages) are much worse yet the subject is very similar.

I don't know how much life advice I can give cos I'm still figuring stuff out myself but what I can say is if you have a passion I would follow that as far as possible and not look back. Are you passionate about one of your science subjects? Have you considered other careers with general entry requirements such as law?


P.S. surely you are from a wealthy background if your parents did medicine?
Original post by Andy Social
I love science, have 12 A*s at GCSE, 4 As at AS level, am predicted 3 A*s at a level (biology, chemistry, maths) and am involved in many extra-curriculars (mentoring, sport, orchestras, grade 8 distinctions in instruments etc.). Basically, I'm a stereotypical med school applicant. The problem? I really, really, really, really, REALLY don't want to do medicine (I think). My social/people skills are pretty abysmal, I'm selfish and uncaring, I don't find the nobility/helping others/prestige of medicine appealing and I just generally feel I don't have any of the key qualities/personality traits needed to be a good doctor. Furthermore, I'm fairly certain I wouldn't enjoy the job - the degree may be fine for me, but the career after it wouldn't be. My parents and many of my siblings have done medicine (so I guess I have some first-hand experience of its 'reality':wink: and I feel this is the only reason I've ever considered it. That and the money and job stability. Sorry for rambling on so much...
Basically, I told my parents I wasn't doing medicine. Perhaps predictably, they exploded. The past few days have been filled with screaming, financial and emotional blackmail, screaming, threats, screaming, and them saying (screaming) that I'll never get a job/house/decent wage/car/fridge/microwave/private jet etc.
I've been looking into science degrees (I really enjoy chemistry and biology so I was thinking biochemistry - any advice/experience/recommendations would be amazing) but I am worried about job opportunities/stability/wages (perhaps just a product of my parents' brain-washing over the years that medicine is the only route). Research seems like something I'd enjoy, but I don't come from a wealthy background (and my parents won't be supporting me at all, apparently) so I don't know how I'd afford to do a PhD. (Really sorry for rambling again).
Essentially, what I'm asking is:
Should I do medicine?
Honestly, it sounds really selfish but as someone hopefully applying to do medicine, and also thinking from other applicants' perspectives, unless you really, really want to do it, I wouldn't apply. This is simply because if you get an offer, accept, and hate it the drop out, then essentially that is a place wasted that could've gone to another applicant. Also, it really doesn't sound like something you'd want to do long term and seeing as its such a vocational degree there's not much else you could do with a medicine degree other than become a doctor so you're forcing yourself down a path that sounds like you'd hate it.
How do I get my parents to accept me not doing medicine?
Tell them about how you feel, and how you also are considering other, viable options and where you plan to go with those options. Honestly, showing that you can plan for the future as well as having sensible career options (even if you're lying through your teeth and have no idea what you want to do) should make your parents back off on the medicine idea, and if not, at least you've told them. But ultimately its not their decision anyway.
Any recommendations for science (chemistry/biology) degrees?
Depends what you're interested. For example biochemistry is a lot like organic chemistry you do in year 12, and not much maths, more a biological science than a chemical science, pure chemistry requires a lot more maths than biochemistry, but different courses vary massively. Currently I'm looking at Oxford, UCL, Imperial or any other uni with good research facilities, and has a healthy lecture to lab time ratio. One of the problems I've found with Oxford and Cambridge is for biochemistry especially their lab time is only once a week on Fridays first year and from what I've heard only really seems to be going through the motions of lab, but maybe most unis are like that, I don't know.
What are the jobs/job opportunities/stability/wages like?
Sounds rubbish to say, but depends how good you are at what you do and how much time you dedicate to your job, just like any other job.
Any further life advice? ( I need it)
Thank you very much in advance for your responses (and I'm very sorry for the whiny, rambling, fwp post).


I'm sorry I've been so long-winded, I hope some of that helped.
Original post by xylas
If you don't wanna do medicine, why is your avatar Dr House? :colone:

Joke aside, if you don't want to do there is absolutely no reason why you should. Biochemistry is very similar to part of the medical course, in fact I learnt the whole of first year biochem in preclin (years 1&2).

It will be nearly impossible to get your parents to accept you not doing medicine but opt to do a related course like biochemistry. Objectively the prospects (opportunities, stability, wages) are much worse yet the subject is very similar.

I don't know how much life advice I can give cos I'm still figuring stuff out myself but what I can say is if you have a passion I would follow that as far as possible and not look back. Are you passionate about one of your science subjects? Have you considered other careers with general entry requirements such as law?


P.S. surely you are from a wealthy background if your parents did medicine?

Thanks for the great reply! :biggrin:
My admiration of House is partly why I think medicine isn't the right path for me: he's an excellent scientist but a terrible clinician -selfish, uncaring, insensitive and disregarding of rules and codes of conduct. I like him for the traits I see in myself, traits that I don't think would make a good doctor (in the 'reeel werld':wink:.
I do really like the look of Biochemistry (despite the apparently poor job prospects/wages). How did you find it? Could you recommend any YouTube videos or textbooks I could look into to get a better 'feel' :dolphin: for the subject?
My parents are (relatively) low-earning GPs who live expensively and have many children. :ahee: It's fun. They've also vowed to disown me for not doing medicine/ never support me in life ever again so... :bricks: :ahee: It's fun.
Thanks again for your response. :colondollar:
Original post by Ishan_2000
No, not your avatar :biggrin:
The avatar of the guy/girl who started this thread!

Just out of (a weird) interest, would you guess guy or girl? :beard:
Original post by daisybysshe
I'm sorry I've been so long-winded, I hope some of that helped.

Really useful advice, thank you :colondollar: I completely agree with the 'taking-someone-elses' place part. To know that hundreds of people would kill to be in that place when I was not enjoying it and essentially wasting it would suck. :frown: I'm fairly certain I won't be doing medicine now (though you may be underestimating the power of my fake-stereotypical-asian-family with the parent part :ahee:).
Original post by benion
DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT DO MEDICINE

I was bullied and pushed into medicine. I begged my parents to let me change course and was told I would get disowned by the family if I did this.

I hated my job. Hated it. I managed to come top of the entire University of Cambridge in the exams. However it all went (more) wrong when I started practising medicine. I felt awkward around patients, got ticked off all the time by my seniors for "poor eye contact". Hated every single minute of the job. Used to vomit in the toilets every morning due to anxiety. Ended up with clinical depression.

The fact is medicine is a tough career for anyone. If you do not want to be a doc it is a million times tougher.

In the end I got sacked and won a disability discrimination case. At the time the doctors thought I had bipolar, but it was only after quitting medicine, and my MH stabilising, they realised I had been misdiagnosed and I actually have Asperger's.

I wasted 5 years and 3 months of my life at medical school and another 7 years doing a job I loathed.

Next year I am starting a degree in physics. This is what I wanted to do aged 18.

Do not screw up your life doing the wrong job.


Woah :eek: Thank you so much for sharing and I'm sorry you had to go through that :frown: This has really strengthened my feeling that I should study something because it makes me happy, not because of money or parental pressure (though these are still, perhaps unavoidably, issues). I hope your physics degree goes awesome - you sound smartz :colondollar: I've had quite a few people ask me if I have Asperger's.. My social skills are.. not amazing, I have chronic resting-donkey-face and I dislike spending prolonged periods of time with people, especially against my will (sounds weirder now as I type it :s-smilie:) - another point to add to the 'whyi'dbeaterribledoctor' list :biggrin:
Original post by Andy Social
Really useful advice, thank you :colondollar: I completely agree with the 'taking-someone-elses' place part. To know that hundreds of people would kill to be in that place when I was not enjoying it and essentially wasting it would suck. :frown: I'm fairly certain I won't be doing medicine now (though you may be underestimating the power of my fake-stereotypical-asian-family with the parent part :ahee:).



you said you have 4 As at AS and predicted 3A* at A2. It means that you are year 13. Where did you apply last year?
Original post by Andy Social
Just out of (a weird) interest, would you guess guy or girl? :beard:


I think you're a guy, mainly because of the username "Andy".

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Reply 38
Original post by Andy Social
Thanks for the great reply! :biggrin:
My admiration of House is partly why I think medicine isn't the right path for me: he's an excellent scientist but a terrible clinician -selfish, uncaring, insensitive and disregarding of rules and codes of conduct. I like him for the traits I see in myself, traits that I don't think would make a good doctor (in the 'reeel werld':wink:.
I do really like the look of Biochemistry (despite the apparently poor job prospects/wages). How did you find it? Could you recommend any YouTube videos or textbooks I could look into to get a better 'feel' :dolphin: for the subject?
My parents are (relatively) low-earning GPs who live expensively and have many children. :ahee: It's fun. They've also vowed to disown me for not doing medicine/ never support me in life ever again so... :bricks: :ahee: It's fun.
Thanks again for your response. :colondollar:

Haha no problem :h: A lot of what you're saying has resonated with me in the past so I'm happy to share my take on it.

I have to disagree with you on the Dr House thing. Not only do most people who do medicine (including me admittedly) want to be like House to a large extent, he is a totally crap scientist. All he does are best guesses which is very useful for clinical medicine but he does not pretend to know the ins, outs and up-to-date evidence on anything. In short, he does not practise evidence based medicine (EBM) so you could even argue he is anti-science.

I would stay away from the view that you wouldn't make a good doctor. Nearly everyone has these thoughts and they never seem to go away. The only thing that matters is Do You Want It? The answer to that seems to be no which is absolutely fine but you can't tell yourself later on there was any other reason than from inside you. That's my best piece of advice right there (take it or leave it).

Biochemistry is an interesting subject but imo is terribly taught at university (I was taught by the same faculty who teach the undergraduate course). I loved every bit I could get at A level but at Uni it bored the hell out of me. There are so many resources on the internet it doesn't really matter where I'd tell you to look. One day, just go on YouTube type in steroid biosynthesis or TCA cycle or what have you and your interest should guide where to go next.

Don't listen to other users - the hopeful applicant who wants to make herself feel better about getting in; or the (alleged) ex-junior-doctor who resents the NHS for her own personal reasons - they shouldn't have any influence on your decision one way or the other. All people on the internet (that's me!) can do is give you more information +- advice so you yourself can make an informed decision. You deserve the opportunity for a place like anyone else so don't think about others' situations until you've finished thinking about your own.

To conclude, you will struggle to go looking for objective reasons why you shouldn't do medicine. It is an excellent career and everyone (including your parents) knows that. However if you subjectively decide not to do medicine then take pride in the fact that you are making the choice and accept all the risks/benefits that come with it. Doing a course like Natsci (as Helenia advised) is what a lot of people with grades like yours end up doing. You never know, you might end up wanting to apply for medicine after a degree as so many of these graduates do! :smile:
Reply 39
Please don't do medicine. The only reason that matters is because you don't want to.

Good luck with whatever you end up doing!

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