Meeting someone who already has kids...

My friend literally messaged me a couple hours ago asking if I would date a man with kids randomly. I told her that I'd prefer not to go there. Then I discover a man I just met has a daughter (she's 7) and I really want to run in the other direction. I'm surprised that I hadn't asked if he had any kids when I met him, however I didn't have the chance to at the time. Now.. What to do?

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Anyone?

Hmm tricky one... Depends on the person too!

My experience is that you will always come second best, he will always have ties to the mother too and thats hard in some situations too

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Lambert87

Hmm tricky one... Depends on the person too!

My experience is that you will always come second best, he will always have ties to the mother too and thats hard in some situations too

See all this worries me. The baby momma could be crazy or she could end up being really nice. Though I'd be happy to know he took care of his child and wouldn't let anyone come between their relationship, I think a part of me would feel left out at times.

Then I think of my brother who got a girl pregnant at 18 and then met the woman he's now married too shortly after. From the sounds of things it wasn't too bad, his wife made an effort to bond with my niece etc.

Reply 4

PangXie

Absolutely not, and I've previously backed off from a perfectly nice guy when he revealed he had two daughters. I don't want kids of my own and I don't want to make a shabby attempt at looking after someone else's either.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 5

Abolisher

I wouldn't be with someone who has children apart from my own.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

My friend was telling me about a man she was dating. He had a daughter that was 14 and he would bring her on dates with them. -_-

Reply 7

Zarek

If you fancy/love someone and are at the stage in life when you are ready to commit to parenting responsibilities, why not. I can understand why it would be a show stopper in some instances.

Reply 8

DiddyDec01

Follow the gut instinct and run for the hills.

Reply 9

user382

Original post by Anonymous

My friend was telling me about a man she was dating. He had a daughter that was 14 and he would bring her on dates with them. -_-

Strange behaviour. :redface:

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by stefano865

Strange behaviour. :redface:

Very strange. My friend felt like she was being forced to become a step mum so she ran for the hills.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by DiddyDec

Follow the gut instinct and run for the hills.

Oops I just stole this quote from you 😂😂 I just want someone to settle down with and start a family. I don't want to build an extention to what a guy already has.

Reply 12

Dinasaurus

Depends how old I was, considering my age now, if someone I went for had kids, I'd definitely not pursue it further.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by Zarek

If you fancy/love someone and are at the stage in life when you are ready to commit to parenting responsibilities, why not. I can understand why it would be a show stopper in some instances.

Every instance tbh. No matter how much I try and weigh out the good and the bad, I can't seem to find any good points. I like him, but not enough to say I want to commit to him and I am definetly not ready to committing to parenting kids that aren't my own.

Reply 14

DiddyDec01

Original post by Anonymous

Oops I just stole this quote from you 😂😂 I just want someone to settle down with and start a family. I don't want to build an extention to what a guy already has.

No worries, just do what feels right.

Reply 15

Noodle0

That sh*t is like playing someone else's saved game.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 16

Zarek

[QUOTE=Anonymous;64069809]Every instance tbh. No matter how much I try and weigh out the good and the bad, I can't seem to find any good points. I like him, but not enough to say I want to commit to him and I am definetly not ready to committing to parenting kids that aren't my own.

I guess it's knock it on the head then.

Reply 17

Little Popcorns

Great if you cba going through a pregnancy and giving birth

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

Original post by Dinasaurus

Depends how old I was, considering my age now, if someone I went for had kids, I'd definitely not pursue it further.

I hear you. My mindset has been the same for as long as I can remember I've said i wouldn't date a man with kids. He is the first man I've come across romantically that has a child (I am hitting 30). I know that when I get to my mid 30's and I'm still single my mindset might change and I probably would have to make some allowances here and there.

Reply 19

Alice__90

Depends on your age and if you'd be willing to take on that role. I'm actually the opposite way round, I have a son and I will only date men with children now because I want to be with someone who understands the responsibility involved.

I did date a guy with a child when I was 18 (before I had my own) but it was too difficult for me as I just wasn't ready to take on that parental role.