My cousin is being such a bitch

Growing up I used to have a very close and constant relationship with my cousin, we used to talk all the time but that changed...

Long story short about a year and a half ago (the November before last) my mother had a massive falling out with my aunt and uncle (so my cousin's parents) and has burnt bridges with them. What happened doesn't matter.

Despite that happening, my mum always told me that her falling out should not affect my relationship with their children (my cousin has 2 brothers), and even her father said to my other uncle that he did not want any problems between the kids - little does he know his darling daughter creates one.

Basically we saw each other a lot less, and our relationship was actually not bad, and then she joined the sixth form with me in September and that is when our relationship started to deteriorate.

For the first week of sixth form we were alright, we spoke to each other, said hi every time we saw one another in the corridors, but then after a few weeks, she began distancing herself from me, like she would not talk to me unless I spoke to her first, and she would give me one lined responses, she wasn't rude, but I felt like I was being treated like an acquaintance rather than her relative, and it was always me that said hi when I saw her, and when I realised she wasn't saying hi first as well, and when she kept continuing to give me one lined answers, I gave up trying to be friends with her again.
So basically we went from having a close relationship to an indifferent one where I was being treated like a stranger.

This awkward arrangement carried on until December, when our relationship made a massive turn for the worse ...
I struck up conversation with people who happened to be my cousins friends, and they asked me are you related to [my cousin]. I told them yes and from there, I can't exactly remember how the conversation went, but they were saying some things my cousin had told them about herself that I knew were not true, in particular she had been telling them she is half Indian half white from her father's side (she's actually fully Indian from both sides) and that her dad is so rich he owns so many casinos in a foreign country (he actually works for a casino owner, and doesn't have a pot to piss in, he always used to ask my mother for money and take her for granted, one of the reasons they fell out, but that's besides the point).

I was so shocked at hearing these lies, I told them what the truth was.
So her friends obviously challenged her, and she had a go at me on iMessage that night, telling me I barely know her and our families don't even talk, so I shouldn't be discussing her family.

What I am disgusted about is not that she's been lying, but the fact that she had the audacity to complain after getting caught out of a lie, what's even more shocking is that she obviously cares more about what some bitchy girls she met less than a year ago think of her, as opposed to her relationship with her cousin she's known her whole life, her own flesh and blood. And it's not like I embarrassed her on purpose or out of malice, but she should have been prepared for that.

Since then, she's been acting really petty and sly, for example that Christmas, she gave presents alongside her parents (she usually buys her own presents) and included her name on my brother and sisters present, but left out her name on my present (and it was in HER handwriting).

I'm not bothered about the fact she didn't get me a present, because I didn't get them anything (obviously because of what happened and the fact I hardly see them anymore) but the sly nature of it made me angry - like I actually did her wrong.

She has been turning people against me saying I'm chatting **** about her parents to try and make myself popular (really only she cares about her rep, if she's shallow enough to lie about her race)

Also once, I stared into space in her direction, and she screeched 'stop staring at me' (did I mention she loves attention seeking)

She sits on my table for one subject and she said to the guy next to her, making sure I heard her 'yeah I made a new group chat for our class, and every single person except one **** isn't on there', and she was saying things likes 'I burnt bridges with some irrelevant people over Christmas' while looking directly at me.

This sly behaviour is just disgusting tbh, all because she can't come to terms with the fact that she's brown and poor, and because she hates my mum for falling out with her parents.
I want to make it clear that it didn't bother me that she lied, but I didn't like that she thought it was ok to complain and berate her own family because the inevitable happened - she got caught out! I don't understand how anyone can lie like that and expect not to look stupid, especially knowing their cousin is in the same year as them.

I would be lying if I said I don't really care for our relationship, but she's not just another friend who betrayed me, she's my actual family who I have a good history with, while there was the odd run in like there is with all family members, they got resolved very quickly and they were very trivial, but this is the worst our relationship has ever been, I don't even think a fake friend has been this hostile to me.

While I know given that 4 months on our relationship is still sour, a reconciliation is very unlikely, it's still very awkward for me, and I feel horrible quite frankly (not for what I've done because I'm not at fault here tbf) that our arrangement turned to this!

I just wanted to rant about it, see if I'm being unreasonable, or whether my cousin truly is a class A bitch.

TL;DR: In the same year in sixth form as my cousin, told a bunch of dumb lies about herself, didn't like it when I caught her out, and has been acting sly and petty and hostile towards me ever since.

I wouldnt bother with her anymore, you dont choose your family after all and personally i dont think that means you have to maintain a relationship if you dont want to. Two of my cousins were absolutely awful to one of my grandparents before they died and despite us getting along as kids i now havent spoken to them in 2 years and feel much better for it.

Yeah, you're right, and I wouldn't mind as much if we didn't go to school together, but we do and it's very awkward for me. Also this is someone I used to have a very close relationship, so this is not something that is going to be easy for me. I'm not saying if she apologised I would forgive her straight away because what she's doing is horrendous, but I just really wish this awkwardness would end.

Wow sorry i fell asleep after the first paragraph but seems to me your parents should try and repair bridges between the two sides, ive seen similar things happen and it just worsens to the point where you dont even attend relatives funerals

I went through pretty much the same situation as you and other than that my friend has also and we both go sixth form as well anyway all I am saying is that it's an obvious thing that nearly all girls in at this age will be stubborn like that where they want to control you and have more power over you and that's why most boys are starting to get pissed at that where you see so many feminists and **** these days as well lol. Real talk though don't make it seem like you find it awkward do the opposite oft that. Have confidence and show that you don't give a **** anymore. I know it isn't easy but literally stop caring. And make it seem like she is a totally different person hope I helped m8

My mother has good reason for not repairing bridges, Falling out with my aunt and uncle was not a decision she took lightly, they have really treated her badly and took her for granted, but that's no reason for my cousin treating me the way she's treating me.




Let's not try and make this a debate about feminism. My cousin thinks she can say and do what she wants just because my mother isn't talking to her parents, and because she's not happy her cover's been blown, not because she's a man hating woman who begs for matriarchy. Totally different issue. But thanks anyway

Look okay forget feminism I am just trying to say that in general girls these days are sluts and bitches

I'm failing to understand your point?

TL;DR: In the same year in sixth form as my cousin, told a bunch of dumb lies about herself, didn't like it when I caught her out, and has been acting sly and petty and hostile towards me ever since.

now here is a person who knows how to tl:dr

well people stay salty and will try and turn others against you because they feel like they should have everything they want and need and that the world revolves around them so they do and pull this kind of ****.
people like this will generally stay like this, so my advice is just ignore them and try your best to cut ties if you really hate her that much, yes she's family, yes it'll be difficult to but things aren't gonna get any better so try to avoid her and just make no contact as much as possible really.....

Sorry to hear what happened to you. I wouldn't let any of this bother you - you have done nothing wrong and her petty behaviour is just a bad reflection on herself. If people are buying into her BS now, they will soon realise what type of person she is. Attention-seeking behaviour gets on peoples' nerves (it definitely gets on mine!) and if she's done it to you, she'll do it to everyone. From what you've said, I do think a lot of her bad behaviour is happening when you're both around other people. That's not your fault - that's just her attention-seeking and trying to impress other people. Particularly with the lying about being half-Indian and her father's job - I know from experience that Asians especially can be very insecure about themselves and make up **** just to impress other people. As long as you've got your own friends and you can keep your distance from her, don't concern yourself with what she's doing. Some people just blindly follow others, and in her case she's following her parent's fall-out with yours without thinking about it herself. I do hope your parents and hers might be able to reconcile their differences but people like her always get what they deserve. Don't mention it to her - tell your own parents or other family members about it, and they might notice it more easily if it happens again.