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Receiving racist comments since my new relationship

I'm a white guy dating a black girl, we get on extremely well, have similar interests, she's not a negative stereotype just a nice down to earth girl. I defend her because people think she's some ghetto street rude girl so I definetly feel for her.

I've had flings with black girls before but this is the first time I've been in a relationship with a black girl. I've never really experienced racist comments towards me before but all the sudden I've been called all sorts of things mainly by black men that know her and her family but I don't say anything because I don't to cause a fight. My main worry is her dad, he was quite traditional views on relationship that white and black people shouldn't date each other. He openly said to me that he thinks I'm a nice young man but he doesn't want dating her simply because I'm white.

It's quite awkward because I'm trying to be nice to him because of my girlfriend. She told that he hassles her all the time about me and that she'll never brake up with me over something stupid as that. I do trust her and will continue despite what her family and others think.


The reason I'm posting is to ask for your advice of the situation. How can I make things better? it's getting to the point where I've come so close to answering him back. Normally we just stay at mine as I have my own place but still it shouldn't be like this. If anyone else is in a interracial relationship how do you deal with bad comments said about you? I would really appreciate your advice. Thank you

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Reply 1
Avatar for AJ KO
AJ KO
2
It's a shame that such bigots exist, and there's not really much you can do about it.

You should definitely stand your ground to her racist father, and let him know that it is her decision, not his. You can only hope that he eventually accepts you and it doesn't come down to him making her choose between you and him.
Pop out as many mixed babies as quickly as you can. That will show them

Serious answer is theres nothing you can do. Its on ur gf to lay down the law to her dad. Deal with it or bye bye
(edited 8 years ago)
Try and prove him wrong. Make sure he is there when you're caring towards your girlfriend, get him on your side by taking an interest in what he likes.
(edited 8 years ago)
It is quite difficult to have a relationship with someone if the parents are strongly against it :frown: You just have to prove him wrong and show that you're a great guy (which I know is easier said than done but I'm sure you can do it)

May I ask which country she's from?
It's silly. Some parents are traditional and just want to be with each other's background, caste, tribe, whatever it maybe. I'd just say ignore it. Or tell him very politely, that it's not his decision to make.
I would never involve myself in such a situation like that tbh,
Your just prolonging the inevitable i,e you two will split up or get a divorce.
Ask yourself this do you really wanna start a family with someone whos parents would never accept you?
Nothing much you can do. Just support her or get rid.
Reply 8
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Legendary Quest
It is quite difficult to have a relationship with someone if the parents are strongly against it :frown: You just have to prove him wrong and show that you're a great guy (which I know is easier said than done but I'm sure you can do it)

May I ask which country she's from?


She's British and so are their family. Her grandparents (don't know what side) are from Jamaica.
I have been in this situation but the other way round (I'm a white female dating a black male) it wasn't family issues but mainly issues with society. I received a lot of abuse from white men and was actually spat at and called a w***e on one occasion by a drunk. It's a shame but all I can say is if you want to be together don't let anyone stop you. Good luck in your relationship :smile:
Turn up to her house in a white robe and hood and just be like "what? I thought you liked racism...".
Original post by Alice__90
I have been in this situation but the other way round (I'm a white female dating a black male) it wasn't family issues but mainly issues with society. I received a lot of abuse from white men and was actually spat at and called a w***e on one occasion by a drunk. It's a shame but all I can say is if you want to be together don't let anyone stop you. Good luck in your relationship :smile:


Whooooaaaa! That's shocking! I can't believe people care that much about something that doesn't affect them.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a white guy dating a black girl, we get on extremely well, have similar interests, she's not a negative stereotype just a nice down to earth girl. I defend her because people think she's some ghetto street rude girl so I definetly feel for her.

I've had flings with black girls before but this is the first time I've been in a relationship with a black girl. I've never really experienced racist comments towards me before but all the sudden I've been called all sorts of things mainly by black men that know her and her family but I don't say anything because I don't to cause a fight. My main worry is her dad, he was quite traditional views on relationship that white and black people shouldn't date each other. He openly said to me that he thinks I'm a nice young man but he doesn't want dating her simply because I'm white.

It's quite awkward because I'm trying to be nice to him because of my girlfriend. She told that he hassles her all the time about me and that she'll never brake up with me over something stupid as that. I do trust her and will continue despite what her family and others think.


The reason I'm posting is to ask for your advice of the situation. How can I make things better? it's getting to the point where I've come so close to answering him back. Normally we just stay at mine as I have my own place but still it shouldn't be like this. If anyone else is in a interracial relationship how do you deal with bad comments said about you? I would really appreciate your advice. Thank you



Make him see beyond your skin colour. You're right it's such a stupid reason but his views are probably what he has grown up with. Whatever you do, DON'T give more reason to hate you. Kill em with kindess :smile:
Original post by Colour Me Pretty
Whooooaaaa! That's shocking! I can't believe people care that much about something that doesn't affect them.


Posted from TSR Mobile


Another one I had was a comment about "them taking our women" I've never experienced anything like it before so I was shocked at how narrow minded people can be. I'm pretty thick skinned though so it didn't make me question the relationship. Just showed a few people's true colours!
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a white guy dating a black girl, we get on extremely well, have similar interests, she's not a negative stereotype just a nice down to earth girl. I defend her because people think she's some ghetto street rude girl so I definetly feel for her.

I've had flings with black girls before but this is the first time I've been in a relationship with a black girl. I've never really experienced racist comments towards me before but all the sudden I've been called all sorts of things mainly by black men that know her and her family but I don't say anything because I don't to cause a fight. My main worry is her dad, he was quite traditional views on relationship that white and black people shouldn't date each other. He openly said to me that he thinks I'm a nice young man but he doesn't want dating her simply because I'm white.

It's quite awkward because I'm trying to be nice to him because of my girlfriend. She told that he hassles her all the time about me and that she'll never brake up with me over something stupid as that. I do trust her and will continue despite what her family and others think.


The reason I'm posting is to ask for your advice of the situation. How can I make things better? it's getting to the point where I've come so close to answering him back. Normally we just stay at mine as I have my own place but still it shouldn't be like this. If anyone else is in a interracial relationship how do you deal with bad comments said about you? I would really appreciate your advice. Thank you


Why does this sound made up? Or are there still ignorant as **** people around.
Original post by LittleMissMay
Why does this sound made up? Or are there still ignorant as **** people around.


This isnt the worst of it tbh, theres people much worse
Reply 16
Avatar for Tom78
Tom78
18
Good luck mate. My last girlfriend was black, but luckily there was no issues.
Put your girlfriend in a situation of extreme danger without anyone knowing it was your doing and with a large number of relevant witnesses

Swoop in and save her from certain death

Job done
Sadly I'm not even surprised after reading this. Are these racist comments made online or do they make it to your face? If the former you should try to block as many of them as possible and continue with life while ignoring that the bigots exist. If the latter it may do you good to start standing up to them.

As for her dad, he doesn't own your girlfriend and being with you was a choice that she made. If he wants to continue to be a racist douche then it's best that you either stand your ground or spend less time around him. I would recommend the former.
Original post by Alice__90
Another one I had was a comment about "them taking our women" I've never experienced anything like it before so I was shocked at how narrow minded people can be. I'm pretty thick skinned though so it didn't make me question the relationship. Just showed a few people's true colours!


Yes, the sad truth is that there is a portion of men who seem to think to think that they own women who are of the same race as them. Sometimes you barely know these people or not at all and they are asking questions and making insulting comments. Gotta hate tribalism.

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