13th Apr: What do you think is the best age to have kids?

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I would like to be a mother before I am 22, I want to be a young mum-a bit like my own I guess....my mum was married at 18 and had me at 19....and I kinda want the same....

Reply 21

User1333171

I turn 26 next week and I'm getting a bit worried about the years I have left to have children. I know it seems strange because, as my mother keeps telling me, 26 is still young and she didn't have me until she was almost 40 (I was her 4th child). I'm well aware that women can be fertile until they're 40, and sometimes after that, but I'm late doing a degree due to illness (hoping to start it for the second time this September) and I'll be 29 when I graduate assuming everything goes well. That then gives me a 10 year window where I want to be establishing myself in a career but will also want to be having children.

I would ideally have liked to be financially stable and settled in a house by the time I had my children, but it might be difficult to have the 'perfect' circumstances now because I have less of a window in which to do everything in than I thought I would have. I just don't know what's going to happen and what my life is going to be like, but I guess people are surprised all the time at how their life turns out differently to what they had planned. The fact is you can't plan very well because so many things are out of your control. All I can do is try and be true to what I want and try and achieve the things I want in ways that are practical based on my circumstances.

Reply 22

Juichiro

Original post by donutaud15

I've just turned 24 and I'm hoping to have a child within the next year or so.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Bed-based workout time. :smile:

If the bed doesn't shake, you are not trying hard enough. :wink:

Reply 23

Juichiro

Original post by super_kawaii

Never, but if I was forced to have children, I'd say late 30s, maybe 38, so I can have a career which is far more important than pushing a larvae out of me

Why would you? :s-smilie:

Reply 24

Juichiro

Original post by CCC75

I would advise early to mid 30s. I am a mature student with two children born when I was 32 and 36 years old. I studied, partied, travelled, pursued a successful career and I am back in pursuit of achieving even higher career success.

I would not have been able to undertake some of my early career roles, the ones that laid crucial groundwork, if I had children in my 20s.

While having kids? :0
Mad time management skills.

Before 30

Literally every woman in my immediate family (no, seriously, Grandma, Mum, Aunts etc..) was 30 when they had their first child. So, it would appear that, in terms of genetics in my family, 30 is the optimal age for me. Not to mention the peer pressure to continue the family tradition...

But aside from my family history, I do really think that 30 is a great age to have children. From a medical point of view, 30 isn't that old, so you're young enough to avoid some of the risks associated with pregnancy in slightly older woman and your body is completely developed and ready to have children.

From a social point of view as well though, I think it's quite a good idea to have your twenties just to live, and gain some life experience before you bring another human into the world. Once you have a child, you are kind of tied down for a while, because there will be another person completely dependant on you for at least the next 16 years or so. That kind of responsibility is a lot to take on when you have limited experience of your own to bring to the role. Also, it can't be denied that you will lose some personal freedom in the process of bringing up a child, and I'd rather exploit my freedom in my twenties when I'm young enough to really enjoy it.

Obviously these are just my views, and I know that what works for me might not work for other people. Sorry if it's a bit garbled-I had a bit of a thought splurge! :smile:

Reply 27

justry4n

I'd say the best age to start a family is 30. The reason why I say 30, is because you get your 20's out of the way and your party lifestyle and you've had a few years to get your career on track.

Reply 28

Juichiro

Original post by BBC Radio 1

This week on The Surgery Gemma and Dr Radha are talking about parenting!

Do you plan on having kids? Are you thinking about having a baby but worried about your age or what others will say? Or if you’re already a young parent we’d love to hear your story as well as your top advice for new parents!

Remember that you can post on this thread anonymously.

1. Compute the current human population number with the function hp(current year)
2. Compute your predicted financial plateau state with the function fp(socio-economic predictors of financial future)
3. Compute ideal age to have kids by minimising the output of hp() and maximising the output of fp()

:smile:

Reply 29

lastlullabyy

I think it's highly individual matter... I'm 22 at the moment and 4 years ago I couldn't even come to terms with the idea of starting a family... But at the moment I have long-term, amazing partner with whom we're planning a life together... But we're just graduating this year, I'm starting Masters in September... I'd probably say I'd want to have the first kid around late 20s/early 30s... But my mum had me at 22, my sister at 24 and my half-brother at 40! But don't believe what they say - from biological point of view, it can get too late to have children... Especially the first one. But whatever people want, really. I have some friends who already have children - some of them planned, some not... All of them are very much loved.

Planning aside, I think everyone who started to be sexually active, especially females, should come to terms that it could be a possibility, even if it's not planned... In my current circumstances I wouldn't want to have a child right now, but obviously if I 'happen' to have a child at 24 or at 31 - doesn't matter, really.

Reply 30

donutaud15

Original post by Juichiro

Bed-based workout time. :smile:

If the bed doesn't shake, you are not trying hard enough. :wink:

If bed shaking is the only requirement for pregnancy I would have been pregnant within a week of trying (we're on our third bed which is now reinforced). Sadly it involves boring things like hormones, timing etc.

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 31

Anonymous #5

I feel massive pressure as a girl to have children. Lots of my female friends want to have kids in their twenties and I really want to leave kids until later on (30+ at least!) so I can go travelling, have a career and live my life first. When I tell them this I often get shocked remarks, however I do know some girls like me, and some who don't want children at all.

Reply 32

Anonymous #6

I'd say 28-35 i think this seems old to most people but its when you start to look after your body after uni lol it also means your career is stable as you've probably been doing it for 3+ years which means job stability it less of a concern

Reply 33

ivybridge

Probably mid-to-late 20s into early 30s. Whenever you feel ready and can support them, I suppose.

Reply 34

Serine Soul

I'd say around 28-30 for me, I need to have a stable job before I can think of having kids.

Maybe have my first kid at 29 and second at 31.

Reply 35

Juichiro

Original post by donutaud15

Woah, I never thought you loved sex so much. :biggrin:

Original post by Anonymous

So bad. :/
Ignore remarks and do what you want.

Reply 36

donutaud15

Original post by Juichiro

Woah, I never thought you loved sex so much. :biggrin:

So bad. :/
Ignore remarks and do what you want.

Who doesn't?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 37

Juichiro

Original post by donutaud15

Who doesn't?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Many people claim they don't. I certainly have not heard of anyone breaking a bed because of sex. So just curious. :smile:

Reply 38

CCC75

Original post by Juichiro

While having kids? :0
Mad time management skills.

Lol! No, prior to having my first child at 32 years old. Hence, I have no yearnings for what I could have done, as I did it all and laid a decent financial foundation and standard of living first.

One of the relationship mistakes that I feel a lot of people make is not to spend significant time as a couple before having children. Attending to a newborn for a minimum of EVERY two hours really requires a solid relationship.

Reply 39

Scott M Harvey

Original post by BBC Radio 1

I'm 22, 23 in May and my son is 18 months old. Logan (my son) wasn't planned and I did have all of the fears you might expect of a young parent. I had no job, I was living by dad and I had no real motivation to make anything of my life.When my girlfriend fell pregnant they gave me the kick I needed to start making something of myself.

I got myself a job (only McDonald's) and started studying an access course at college. I had no motivation to really do anything beforehand, but the drive my future son had given me with allowing me to do 40 hours a week at work and well over 20 hours a week at college.

I completed my college course with top marks, gained access to the University of East Anglia to study biomedicine, and close to completing my 1st year. My grades thus far are indicating that they should get a 1st!

I couldn't see any way that I could bring up a child given my situation initially, but it was only by that realisation that I'm in the position I am in now. If you hadn't fallen pregnant, I would probably still be the lazy sod living off of my parents.