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i hit on my orthodontist but i don't get what happened next? (convo included)

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Original post by searust
i guess so...but as a professional it would be weirder for him to be the one to initiate the conversation as opposed to just replying. but i too think he's just being friendly i guess.


Original post by jawsontheflooor
I think you're just waiting for someone to come along and say 'Oh yes he definitely likes you'
The fact that he didn't invite you out straight away should give you a clue and additionally you've been initiating conversation each time. I don't think it has anything to do with it being weird for him to initiate the conversation to maintain professionalism because otherwise he wouldn't have carried on in the first place. I reckon he's just being friendly.


Agree with jawsonthefloor surely he would have invited you out with his friend instead of saying yes will let you know each time you asked.
Also you say he is a professional however you managed to get his number and you are both chatting between yourselves even though you are his client?? Surely if he is already messaging you don't see why he can't initiate conversation.

I do think he is a very friendly guy I had one person always popped by the office and one day I said come for a coffee and I even approached them and said I'll be free if they pop in and they said yes will do and they never did until I messaged them later they said they were busy and it was me initiating
I thought I would get an apology for them not turning up as I was waiting but no knew they weren't interested anyway but don't like them saying yes I will to be polite then not bothering.
Reply 21
Original post by chikane
Agree with jawsonthefloor surely he would have invited you out with his friend instead of saying yes will let you know each time you asked.
Also you say he is a professional however you managed to get his number and you are both chatting between yourselves even though you are his client?? Surely if he is already messaging you don't see why he can't initiate conversation.

I do think he is a very friendly guy I had one person always popped by the office and one day I said come for a coffee and I even approached them and said I'll be free if they pop in and they said yes will do and they never did until I messaged them later they said they were busy and it was me initiating
I thought I would get an apology for them not turning up as I was waiting but no knew they weren't interested anyway but don't like them saying yes I will to be polite then not bothering.


yeah, he's not interested in me. guys who do that can be sooo annoying and lame. why cant they just be straighforward...thanks anyway
Original post by searust
yeah, he's not interested in me. guys who do that can be sooo annoying and lame. why cant they just be straighforward...thanks anyway


Yes it is annoying when they give you false hope but they probably think they are being nice.
Why not ask the others who work there to go out them and see him there?
The balls in his court just wait and see whether he will ask you out.
How old are you and how old is the orthodontist?
What a riveting read! I wish you luck on your story of hardship.
Reply 25
Original post by Little Popcorns
How old are you and how old is the orthodontist?


22/28
Reply 26
Original post by PrinceMuse
What a riveting read! I wish you luck on your story of hardship.


thank you! your kindness and wit is extraordinary. with your blessings i'll be able to sleep tonight
Reply 27
Original post by chikane
Yes it is annoying when they give you false hope but they probably think they are being nice.
Why not ask the others who work there to go out them and see him there?
The balls in his court just wait and see whether he will ask you out.


i don't think he actually meant his dental mates...i think he meant his old buddies or something like that. because from chatting with the dental receptionist, i don't get the impression that they all hang out outside work often.
Original post by searust
i don't think he actually meant his dental mates...i think he meant his old buddies or something like that. because from chatting with the dental receptionist, i don't get the impression that they all hang out outside work often.


I read the other comment on the other thread, he don't know you well and you don't know his friends so you can't blame him for not inviting you out.
Like you said you should get to know him before meeting him plus he is your orthodontist can you change to someone else so he won't get in trouble? Maybe that is why he is not responsive plus he barely knows you.
I thought he went out with his colleagues and you get on with them so i thought it would be better meeting him that way but yes get to know him and don't keep asking about being invited out maybe go out with him for a coffee or lunch instead or like you said get to know him before going out with him and his friends.
Reply 29
Original post by chikane
I read the other comment on the other thread, he don't know you well and you don't know his friends so you can't blame him for not inviting you out.
Like you said you should get to know him before meeting him plus he is your orthodontist can you change to someone else so he won't get in trouble? Maybe that is why he is not responsive plus he barely knows you.
I thought he went out with his colleagues and you get on with them so i thought it would be better meeting him that way but yes get to know him and don't keep asking about being invited out maybe go out with him for a coffee or lunch instead or like you said get to know him before going out with him and his friends.


ill keep that in mind, thanks!!
Oh god it's so cringeworthy....
Reply 31
Original post by Lambert87
Oh god it's so cringeworthy....


lol why
From a healthcare professional POV we are not allowed to text patients (unless in certain circumstances where it is vital to helping us do our job), and for example, adding a patient on Facebook would be seen as a violation of our professional responsibility. Meeting up with a current patient outside work for social reasons is therefore a big no-no. It's all to do with duty of care and abuse of power. Rules are slightly different if you are no longer his patient, but the bottom line is by continuing to talk to him while still being his patient you are putting his job at risk. Obviously if you go out with his friends, they are going to find it pretty strange that he has brought a patient along.

Sorry to be a killjoy, but if you do think that he likes you and you want to take things further, I'd advise you to be careful who you tell and see about changing orthodontists.
Original post by M14B
Shorter or Audio version available?


I vote Audio.
No offence but you seem desperate.

The ice cream thing was clearly a joke.

You messaging him on whatsapp - cool step
Him not replying to you first time - I wouldn't do that...but I guess you wanted to show him u're interested
Continuously popping up to him is desperate, when clearly he doesn't seem interested. I think u're wasting your time and he's probably having a laugh about how desperate you are
Original post by searust
some of you may remember i asked a couple questions a few months ago about whether i should chat up my orthodontist or not. anyway i've seen him a few more times since i posted those questions. once he was eating an ice cream cone after the appt in the lobby area and i was chatting with some other dentists there (they are all young and in their 20s) and in the middle i glanced towards him and he was looking my way and said "you want some ice cream?!" and smiled while holding out his ice cream cone- that he had just started eating. i laughed and said no thanks....it was weird because i was wearing retainers too and he knew that because i had just seen him a few minutes prior for a retainer checkup. anyway yeah aside from that he's just always been friendly and nice- he's complimented my teeth a lot and told me i have a nice smile once but i'm sure that is nothing and that he says that to all patients who have braces ( i didnt go to him for braces, i went to a different ortho. i went to him to get new retainers).

NOW COMING TO THE INTERESTING PART:
so i decided to message him about a doubt that i had, it was an actual doubt haha. i got his number from the dental receptionist who is always messaging me funnily enough...so yeah i messaged him about this doubt on whatsapp (i had just seen him earlier in the evening in person so it wasnt random, i didnt have an appt with him, i had a teeth cleaning but i bumped into him at the practice and he smiled and talked to me for a min) and he replied. then the next happened:

me: ok great thanks :smile: haha you probably thought you were all done with work but then here i popped up with more questions. anyway, how's your sat night going? whatever is left of it anyway *wink face*

him: haha the night is young. it's just started actually. *4 wink faces*

me: haha got it. so what are some cool fun things to do around london?

him: i'm not much of a party guy, but there's a lot of good restaurants and apart from the usual, which is drinking *crying laughing face*

me: haha yeah that can get monotonous but nice dinners are always good :smile: i'm not really into the whole club scene.

he didn't reply so a few hours later i said:

me: so what are these good dinner places you speak of? ***** always feels a bit boring to me but i guess that's cause i don't know the right places.

him: a lot of places, *my name*. *****- nice restaurants there. ***** is another option, good food there. ****** definitely. *two happy faces* like i said, the night is young. *two more happy faces*

me: the night definitely iss young...or was. haha i'm about to crash now. haha yeah i like those areas a lot

he didn't reply because i sent this at like 4 am and i am guessing he was asleep and saw it the next morning.

then i sent this in the afternoon:

me: ok *his name* you got yourself a deal hahah since you seem to know the cool places around london aside the dental practice haha, show me around sometime *happy face*. i barely know people here

him: done. *2 happy faces* definitely when we go out, will surely give you a buzz.

me: sounds goood *happy face*

so he didnt send invite me anywhere that week and i got curious and thought that since i already put in the effort to talk to him i better make something good come out of this. and i thought he seemed interested to invite me somewhere because he replied to that message of mine telling him to show me around in like 1 minute within seeing it (i saw when i saw it) and he sounded happy with all the happy emoticons and whatnot. so i thought maybe i should prod him a little. about a week later i sent this:

me: hey, what's up? when's that hangout coming along haha?

him: hey, i'm good....a bit under the weather. we are planning to go out one of these days, in the coming week....will surely buzz you. *3 happy faces*.

me: yeah the weather sucks these days too, ugh. ok, sure *happy face*.

that was the last of our messages and those messages happened last monday. the whole of last week he never messaged me or invited me anywhere even though he had said "definitely in this coming week". his replies were always very fast and he sent a lot of happy faces and also sent 4 winks in one message one time, as i've written above, so he sounded interested. if he was hesitating or didn't want to hang out with me he would have sounded more distant right? like maybe "sure i'll let you know". i don't think professionalism is holding him back at all because it is a very chill place and he's sending me wink faces and is always relaxed and laid back when i talk to him in person. majority of the people working there are all in their 20s and the receptionist guy messages me all the time and another dentist there added me on facebook and he talks to me whenever i bump into him, so i don't think they are that uptight. the guy i was messaging never did anything weird in person- just 2 things interesting i suppose- one being the ice cream thing i already mentioned and another was once i was looking down towards my feet (while lying in the dental chair) and when i looked up at his face (which was above my head as he was standing) he quickly looked the other way. he could have a gf but i know he isn't married for sure. if he has a gf he could be wanting to invite me somewhere to be friends but also hesitant? or he could be single and waiting for a good time to invite me somewhere because he obviously can't invite me to the house of his friend or something...it would need to be a restaurant or pub, etc...and our last messages were about a week ago so not THAT much time has passed.


anyway what do you think about our messages and what do you think he may think of this/me? how do i come across in all of this?


Too many ****ing faces. I was expecting a sweet love story (not really), not a math problem of 2 wink faces + 3 happy faces=x chances of definite love.
Does he have a tick? :s-smilie:


Anyway.

He's being nice because you keep bringing it up texting him and if he liked you, unless he's a dick, he'd continue the convo somehow.
Also promising to call you when something happens is literally him letting you down gently, soz. He's basically saying, "there's no reason for you to keep insisting I invite you out, like there's nothing to invite you out to :s-smilie:."

I will say your persistence is admirable as an onlooker but as the receiver he's probably being really patient. And the whole not bothering to call you after a week is evidence that he's either hella busy, hella inconsiderate of your feelings (which for me is a no-no to talk to him anyway but I'm not you so ok), or he's just not interested! And I'm so sorry, I know it sucks!

One last thing: men kinda like to chase. Unless he's a submit, he won't find much purpose or will in speaking to you because he knows you'll just do it. So either get ready to hunt him down continually because he just can't be arsed or...stop. I do however think if you're not bothered that people might find your attemps embarrassing, including him, then keep going for it and get your man girl! :tongue:
Reply 36
You should walk away. It's not an appropriate relationship even if he were interested.
If a guy wants to see you he will make it happen and ask you! So don't read into emojis or the speed that he replies, if he likes you he will ask you to hang out it is literally that simple - in the meantime get out there and keep doing what you're doing in making friends and chatting to people, getting out and stuff your confidence is great!! :smile: wouldn't be too hung up on it if i were you :redface:
I don't think he's interested in anything but a friendship
Personally, I think he's just being friendly (and doing a very good job of it). If I were in his position, I'd be totally overwhelmed by your persistance. It wouldn't be appropriate of him to reciprocate anyway.

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