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Muslims: Opinions please

Firstly, Assalam u Alaikum

Basically, i am a 19 year old girl who comes from a Muslim Pakistani family. Very recently ive my family have been looking for a bot for me to get married to. I.e. a rishta.
Ive had a few in the past of people calling the house but no response after that.
Just about a few days ago my mum had spoke to a woman who is looking for a girl for her son. She contacted my mum and they chatted for a while.

That same night she sent pictures of her son and requested mine in return. We sent my pics the next day. Now they called yesterday saying theyd like to come over to "see" me.

On one hand im nervous. Since it is my first rishta visit. Also, my family were saying to me that he will ask me questions and stuff when we speak and if i have questions to ask him i can.

and this is what this post is about.
What kinda stuff can i ask him, without being too much?

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First of all ask yourself if you really want to marry at such an early age. You should ask about his job, hobbies and general stuff. Also I'd really advise you to be completely sure of the boy before marrying him i.e meet him like 4-5 times before saying yes.
Reply 2
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Kamran Fazal
First of all ask yourself if you really want to marry at such an early age. You should ask about his job, hobbies and general stuff. Also I'd really advise you to be completely sure of the boy before marrying him i.e meet him like 4-5 times before saying yes.

I do know i want to be married young. Im still at university atm but still want to be married soon.

You say "general stuff", but like what???

Also, i wont be rushing into anything lol, theres no pressure on me at all
maybe talk about his personal life - after all, you have the right to ask...
ask "have you ever had a gf" and if yes how long was your relationship to what extent... :colondollar:
that might sounds pretty weird but dont ask him staright away... ask some general questions like... your hobbies, likes, dislikes, your planning for future, your career and then ask that question :u:
Reply 4
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by fatima1998
maybe talk about his personal life - after all, you have the right to ask...
ask "have you ever had a gf" and if yes how long was your relationship to what extent... :colondollar:
that might sounds pretty weird but dont ask him staright away... ask some general questions like... your hobbies, likes, dislikes, your planning for future, your career and then ask that question :u:

Swear ur hilarious i need to pm you soon :lol: seen ur posts before :h:

But is that not a beyond personal qu :K: like for meeting someone for the first fime?
Do you want to get married?


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
Swear ur hilarious i need to pm you soon :lol: seen ur posts before :h:

But is that not a beyond personal qu :K: like for meeting someone for the first fime?


ooooooh... you know me :colondollar:
thats great :biggrin: would love to know you too :yes:
but... you gotta be confident and ask any question you like... because in our society, they wanna hear yes as soon you had a covo with the person so why being shy and regret afterwards that he is not a virgin :colone: .... you know what i mean :wink:
Original post by Anonymous
Swear ur hilarious i need to pm you soon :lol: seen ur posts before :h:

But is that not a beyond personal qu :K: like for meeting someone for the first fime?


It's not personal, since his intention is marriage he should expect this type of questions
Reply 8
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by alldayniqqa
Do you want to get married?


Posted from TSR Mobile

I do

Original post by fatima1998
ooooooh... you know me :colondollar:
thats great :biggrin: would love to know you too :yes:
but... you gotta be confident and ask any question you like... because in our society, they wanna hear yes as soon you had a covo with the person so why being shy and regret afterwards that he is not a virgin :colone: .... you know what i mean :wink:

Haha i know you vaguely, would like to better :tongue:
Hahahah, ur so right but its so awks :lol:
Original post by yasminkattan
It's not personal, since his intention is marriage he should expect this type of questions

Yeah.. but.. awks
Original post by Anonymous


Haha i know you vaguely, would like to better :tongue:
Hahahah, ur so right but its so awks :lol:


i know its awks... that boy may also feel awks... but break that awks and be open...
i bet he is gonna start talking to you, after a while you'll feel a bit confident
or if not then tell you mummy or daddy that i would like to talk to him over the phone to get him know more and then you'll make a decision :colondollar:
Original post by Anonymous
I do


Haha i know you vaguely, would like to better :tongue:
Hahahah, ur so right but its so awks :lol:

Yeah.. but.. awks


It's not, believe me. Just keep serious :tongue:
I've been through this before and the first serious question I asked was "are you a virgin?" Wasn't a big deal, he just answered normally.
Original post by fatima1998
i know its awks... that boy may also feel awks... but break that awks and be open...
i bet he is gonna start talking to you, after a while you'll feel a bit confident
or if not then tell you mummy or daddy that i would like to talk to him over the phone to get him know more and then you'll make a decision :colondollar:

I know im not usually shy anyways but ah well i guess we will see.
And i dont even bave the guts to ask my parents to do that :rolleyes:
Original post by yasminkattan
It's not, believe me. Just keep serious :tongue:
I've been through this before and the first serious question I asked was "are you a virgin?" Wasn't a big deal, he just answered normally.

Loool no way was the first thing u asked? :eek:
I guess some guys just take it as normal :lol:
Original post by Anonymous
Loool no way was the first thing u asked? :eek:
I guess some guys just take it as normal :lol:


Of course, gotta know these things :tongue:
Original post by Anonymous
I know im not usually shy anyways but ah well i guess we will see.
And i dont even bave the guts to ask my parents to do that :rolleyes:


anything you have that can be use in that situation?
Original post by yasminkattan
Of course, gotta know these things :tongue:

Lol i know :tongue:
Original post by fatima1998
anything you have that can be use in that situation?

Like....?
Original post by Anonymous
Firstly, Assalam u Alaikum

Basically, i am a 19 year old girl who comes from a Muslim Pakistani family. Very recently ive my family have been looking for a bot for me to get married to. I.e. a rishta.
Ive had a few in the past of people calling the house but no response after that.
Just about a few days ago my mum had spoke to a woman who is looking for a girl for her son. She contacted my mum and they chatted for a while.

That same night she sent pictures of her son and requested mine in return. We sent my pics the next day. Now they called yesterday saying theyd like to come over to "see" me.

On one hand im nervous. Since it is my first rishta visit. Also, my family were saying to me that he will ask me questions and stuff when we speak and if i have questions to ask him i can.

and this is what this post is about.
What kinda stuff can i ask him, without being too much?


What do you look for in a husband?
Ask about his deen maybe? Try and find out how practicing he is? If that's what you're going after.
If you care about intellect, then enquire about his intelligence, and studies.
Talk about his job. Ask about his hobbies, see if they match yours to some extent.
Ask some sneaky psychological questions that would determine the type of personality he has, to see whether you like it or not.
You should also see what he looks for in a wife and consider whether you possess those qualities. Because this marriage is for both of you. Not just you, or just him.
Talk about his job and his earnings, if money is something you're after.
Ask if he has any illnesses maybe, so you're prepared for that.

But sister, I think you should mainly enquire about his Islam, and how practicing he is. Because at the end of the day, that's what matters the most. Because you must both work together to attain Jannah. And also, you need to keep in mind that he will be the father of your children.

So, ask yourself, what do you really want from him?
Reply 17
Avatar for AJ KO
AJ KO
2
Original post by Anonymous

Basically, i am a 19 year old girl who comes from a Muslim Pakistani family. Very recently ive my family have been looking for a bot for me to get married to. I.e. a rishta.

You want to marry a "bot"?



Also, wtf is a "rishta"?

Is this a UK-based student room, or the Pakistani room? :lolwut:
Original post by Anonymous
Lol i know :tongue:

Like....?


you need guts to take action...
you need to be more open to showing that guy that you ain't less and you are confident - dont let him dominate you :nah:
Religion wastes your life. I've said it on another thread and I repeat it loud and clear. FFS leave religion and enjoy life

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