Was I raped???

Cheating is equal to rape? Yes genius. He is a genius.

Not the point.

It's not victim blaming. Only advice.

The dangers are evident. Would be smarter to not get so drunk out of your senses so as to avoid risk all together.

Getting drunk ≠ consenting to sex or being at fault for getting raped.

Hold On. Hold On HOLD ON.
Where did I state Cheating = Rape?
Where did he state it too?

Please show evidence?
I stand by my origianl point of your statements being dead, as you tend to lack evidence with it, unlike me who has quoted you out on all your self contradictions.

Cheating is equal to rape? Yes genius. He is a genius.

Putting yourself in a position where you are going to be easily exploited is stupid, it's like an individual walking through a park at midnight, in the dark asking not to be mugged. He doesn't deserve to be mugged, hell no, but they could have taken precautions to ensure that situation didn't occur.

Besides OP clearly states she asked for a condom to be worn. She wasn't intoxicated enough for her judgement to be severely impaired, I mean even after going home with a stranger she still took a precaution not to get pregnant or receive an STI.

My point still stands, it's definitely not her fault but the fact remains she was still stupidly drunk.

I agree.

But it's strange how most people are focusing on criticising the OP (the victim) without criticising the actual perpetrator, whilst simultaneously stating that the OP is not at fault.

I'm far too tired to quote anything. You haven't quoted me out on all my self-contradictions so don't flatter yourself. I'm not continuing on with this thread as I should be working. So goodbye, don't quote me again. (look at the last couple of pages, it's on there).

I'm not screaming rape,.

She cried, he didn't stop. That doesn't sound like rape to you? That just sounds like a silly little regret filled drunken mistake? Really???
.

Either you're being incredibly naive about the impacts of betrayal, or humouring me.

Someone who betrays someone else who has complete faith in them for their own purpose is low.

The victims are affected similarly in both cases. What better comparison is there?

A thief steals all your money from your house. A corporate lawyer steals all your money through trickery. Either way, you end up with no money. Who's really better here?

Also, there is no way to reduce the likelihood of being cheated on. Hoes gonna hoe.

Except rape regularly leaves its victims with PTSD, cheating doesn't. Don't go there.

So I drank A LOT (at least a litre) and my "friend's" friends put me on a bus and I vaguely remember like talking to everyone on the bus and I met this guy (he was completely sober) and I told him where I lived and he still took me to his apartment. I remember telling him to put on a condom cause I was not about to get pregnant or an STI just because I was drunk. He would stop every so often to "cuddle" and I just remember waking feeling like complete **** and seeing like 3 full condoms on the floor. He wanted to do it "again" in the morning but I kept refusing but he still tried and again I told him to put the condom on;. He wasn't like violent though but he was a complete stranger and was like a decade older than me (he knew my age). He didn't ask me for permission, he'd just stop for a bit if I started crying or stopped saying anything. I feel like I couldn't push him away though because I was smoking his cigarettes and staying at his house so it was essentially my fault for getting that drunk in the first place. And I dont even know if I was up for it or not but most likely not since I didnt even want to do it with my boyfriend when I was sober. He didnt really "force force" me so honestly I'm so confused right now, I literally just got home. I don't THINK I was raped because I dont remember much and it wasn't exactly traumatising like the first time it happened (I was younger). I just feel so dirty and I feel like it was my fault cause I didnt really stop stop him and I didnt go home when I should have and continued to go to his apartment so I did have some sort of control in which direction it could have gone in. I feel sick but I think that is just cause I'm hungover.

Should I just pretend it didnt happen and move on? One of those drunken mistakes things.

It does to an extent. That is one difference out of a hundred.

Betrayal is bad.

Yeah, when you've experienced crying under your desk every day, scanning every car, every person, being ostracized by all your friends, getting irritable at every little thing, having a mini panic attack whenever you hear a certain song, being unable to trust anyone at all, having constant flashbacks, not being able to focus on anything, horrible mood swings, the feeling it'll never end, the unbearable depression... come back and talk.

(did I mention all of that lasts for months/years, depending on the person?)

That shocking moment when you know who OP is.

Then please: don't break their confidence, or divulge their identity. They've endured enough.

I'd never do that. One of the reason I am anonymous is so that no-one will question me.

Now I am just waiting for the OP to reply to my text messages

This was rape.

Rape is intercourse carried out without consent. Consent cannot be given by a person who is drunk, since they are not in a state of mind to give permission. He was sober, and was significantly older than you - he was mature enough and of a state of mind to realise that he should never have taken advantage of you while you were in that position. Additionally, the fact that he had to coerce you into it even while you were in this vulnerable position says it all. I'm not sure if you at any point said yes to him, but even if you never said no, that doesn't mean it wasn't rape.