Stephen Fry - abuse victims should "grow up" - opinions?

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Personally, the idea of self-pitying and trigger warning do not equate.
I experienced a lot of abuse as a child, for the first time when i was five and although there are occasionally times were I have the self-pitying thought of 'why me', the majority of the time it's more of the emotional aspects that affect me (anger, sadness) therefore, having a trigger warning is helpful as hearing about another's experiences that are similar to mine bring up too many painful memories and cause heavy emotional distress. For many, the reality of it isn't that it happened '50 years ago' but instead only a few years ago or months or sometimes days.
I agree that there shouldn't be an all round ban on literature that involve these kind of disturbing aspects but perhaps people should be asked rather than forced to participate in reading them. We simply ask for a little human compassion in the healing process and sometimes that means the choice on whether or not we engage in things that may be detrimental to the process.

Reply 41

SophieSmall

Original post by Jebedee

Not relevant, he wasn't saying "stop having mental issues" he was saying stop using your condition as a weapon against others. Regressives just see what they want to see though which is their daily dose of outrage.

PRSOM.

Reply 42

User947387

Ok just to be clear then, why is it just to be abuse survivors?

Will be applying this same logic to say, victims of torture, genocide, rape or murder?

Reply 43

QE2

"People offended by man saying that people should stop being offended" shock!

The Guardian article completely misrepresents what Fry said, and what he meant.
I mean, he mentioned Titus Andronicus as an example of a work that people are saying could "invade the safe space of victims".
Lees says "I never read Titus Andronicus coz I wnt 2 a rundown comprehensive, innit".
:facepalm2:

Reply 44

SophieSmall

Original post by apronedsamurai

Ok just to be clear then, why is it just to be abuse survivors?

Will be applying this same logic to say, victims of torture, genocide, rape or murder?

Abuse was clearly just an example.

I would apply the same logic to those things as well yes.

And before you say it, no not that the victims of those things should "grow up" or "get over it". Not the argument being made at all.

But instead that those topics shouldn't be censored or banned for everyone in whatever medium (discussion, art, book ect) just because someone people will be upset by them. I by no means think people affected by them should have to take part in those discussion or read those books ect. But to censor them is lunacy. That was very clearly the discussion at hand. NOT "grow up for being raped".

Reply 45

User947387

Original post by SophieSmall

THAT is my objection. The "growing up" part. I advocate free speech and free press.

Reply 46

User947387

http://www.nme.com/filmandtv/news/mental-health-charity-mind-responds-to-stephen-fry/404616

There has been a NEW statement issued by Mr Fry, subsequent to the initial comment.

Reply 47

QE2

Original post by Jebedee

I recommend you watch the actual interview, the topic of the whole thing was free speech. He said that people who are trying to ban things and using their abuse as a justification need to grow up.

[video="youtube;eJQHakkViPo"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJQHakkViPo[/video]

Bbut, but...that doesn't show him saying anything like what all the professinally offended are saying he said. People might not agree with him, but it certainly isn't "disgusting".

Some people should grow up.

Reply 48

Cybele

Some people are missing the point entirely. All he said is that he disagrees with self-pity, and that abuse victims shouldn't expect anyone to pussyfoot around them for fear of upsetting them. I don't have a strong opinion on this really but what he said is not disgusting. :facepalm:

Reply 49

jf1994

Original post by bullettheory

http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2016/apr/12/stephen-fry-fury-comments-abuse-victims-self-pity-charity-mind

Personally, I am absolutely disgusted at his comments, especially given his position as president of the largest mental health charity in the UK. If it was up to me, he should resign. As someone with mental health problems, I don't see how he can represent the views of vulnerable people, abuse victims, and those with mental illness.

Thoughts?

Your response to an opinion that causes you offense is to call for the mans resignation - that's bigotry. Ironic that Stephen Fry was actually making a point about free speech, which you seem inherently opposed to.

Reply 50

ComputerMaths97

Original post by bullettheory

You've taken what he's said completely out of context, it's a fair thing to say. Whether it "offends" you or not does not devalue the point.

Reply 51

acupofgreentea

He could have put it across in a much better manner than he did and "grow up" is an extremely insensitive way of putting it, but I do disagree with the use of trigger warnings and the like, even as someone with PTSD from abuse.

To be honest, though, I can understand why others would want trigger warnings. I've been triggered from content on various occasions and I don't think I could ever justify how awful a PTSD episode is to someone who has never experienced one, but it's something you want to avoid at all costs.

I've acknowledged there will always be triggers and I can't be sheltered from them, but I can certainly understand how others could find that a hard viewpoint to take. It's abuse. It's kind of hard not to be sensitive about it.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 52

LittleMissMay

Original post by BaconandSauce

“It’s a great shame and we’re all very sorry that your uncle touched you in that nasty place, you get some of my sympathy, but your self-pity gets none of my sympathy because self-pity is the ugliest emotion in humanity.'

he went on to add

“Get rid of it, because no one’s going to like you if you feel sorry for yourself. The irony is we’ll feel sorry for you, if you stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just grow up.”

Original post by Howard

He's a poster child for self pity himself. I can't stand him. Pompous, arrogant, self-absorbed, ass of a man.

True Howard, but what he said still isn't logically wrong.

Reply 53

username861942

Original post by TSRUsername99

Fry is an abuse survivor too. :wink:

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2007/03/28/stephen-fry-opens-up-about-school-sexual-assault/

Being a survivor of abuse doesn't allow you to make whatever comments you like.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 54

jf1994

Original post by bullettheory

Being a survivor of abuse doesn't allow you to make whatever comments you like.

Posted from TSR Mobile

No, free speech does...

Reply 55

Howard

Original post by Cybele

How can he disagree with something he practices as a way of life? Fry's life is one never ending pity party and everybody is invited whether they want to go or not.

Reply 56

ChaoticButterfly

Fry seems to be pretty good at practising self pity and throwing internet tantrums.

Reply 57

LittleMissMay

Original post by ChaoticButterfly

Fry seems to be pretty good at practising self pity and throwing internet tantrums.

Again this is irrelevant to the point he was making.

Reply 58

Howard

Original post by Heartweaver

I can see his point that free speech shouldn't be shut down, but there's a caveat. Free speech isn't a ticket to talk whatever s**t you want, just because you're allowed to. By all means, state your opinion, but be tactful and don't be a jerk.