Suggestions on how to deal with a difficult family member

My grandmother can be very abusive, and it annoys me so much. I had to move in with my grandmother when I was about 14 years old and I've had no contact with my parents since then. And usually when everythings centered around my grandmother or I make my existence about her i.e; go shopping for her (shes too lazy to leave the house), sit with her all day, give her my money etc. shes okay-ish. But like this weekend for example, I was making dinner for a cousins and she spoke to me, and I didn't hear and now because I've "ignored" her shes refused to speak to me all weekend.

Usually I like her ignoring me, but the worst bit about it is that she keeps giving me these really dirty looks all the time and she keeps trying to turn my cousins against me (which is ridiculous because they're 5 and 6). She also keep accusing me of "having a face like a slapped arse". So how do I deal with this petty behavior????

It physically aggravates me. And I only have to put up with this until September when I go to Uni, move out and change my name. But how do I deal with this in the meantime?

Thanks for any advice, guys

just focus on September... ignore any provocations from your elderly relative until then. it may be that she is suffering from some dementia type problem, but it is still horrible for you.

Thanks for your reply.

Yeah, she doesn't have anything wrong with her (although she pretends she does for benefit money). No, all of her 8 siblings and the 1 friend that she had have cut her off for the same reason through out the decades.

But how would you suggest I ignore any provocations? Are there any techniques you've used that have helped you in the past with other people?

I think that as your gonna leave soon you may as well try talking to her about it and tell her how she makes you feel, it can't get any worse than it already is
I think maybe she just needs to be told straight

I think that as your gonna leave soon you may as well try talking to her about it and tell her how she makes you feel, it can't get any worse than it already is
I think maybe she just needs to be told straight

Theres been plenty of people who have told her straight in the past but apparently its always their fault or something wrong with them. She's one of those people.

And I think with the family environment I live in, its made very clear how I feel doesn't matter. So sorry, I realize how whiny this must sound to everyone.

But what would you recommend that could make me feel better or help me to ignore her? As you said, Im gonna leave soon so I just got to find a way to make it until September

Thanks for your reply

okay, then I go back on what I said maybe there's no point in talking to her
unless you say to her that if she doesn't change she'll lose you, her last family member. are you going to continue seeing her every now and then when you leave or never see her again? to be fair I don't blame you if you don't

perhaps you could spend less time at home, maybe go out a bit or if your studying now go out to the library now and then
or if you don't prefer go out or its impractical then I'd say just stay in your room, that's how you could ignore it
but in terms of feeling better just do stuff that makes you feel better idk what that is for you though
or you could always be mean to her sometimes like she is to you that might make you feel better, just to make you feel content

oh and also you know how she tries to turn your cousins against you I think she's just a childish person all her life

Yeah, i'm actually planning on never seeing her or anyone again, changing my name, moving somewhere else etc. so that she wouldn't be able to get ahold of me again.

But usually I do just stay in my room, but perhaps I'll take your advice and go out more, because staying in my room isn't effective anymore obviously. And the weathers finally nice here in London.

But thank you for being so understanding. Sometimes just hearing from someone else is comforting in itself

oh right okay, yepp I think you should do that; what is best for you and what makes you happy
And no problem we're all here to support eachother through though times
what uni are you going to btw?

Well you've definitely supported me, thank you
And I'm going to Middlesex, what about you?

ah I'm not completely sure yet, but Middlesex was one I applied to, what are you going to study?