Why do guys text loads and then go silent?

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I know! This guy I'd been dating just stopped replying, a month later he asks me if I want to meet up... I was like erm I think I'll pass thanks 😂

Did he even apologize or give a reason why he stopped replying? Good on you for passing! Had you moved on by that point?

Reply 41

asif007

Original post by Anonymous

It's been a few days. Thing is I'm inexperienced so I have the tendency to over-react a bit but then I'm not sure if I should legit worry either :s-smilie:

If you text him last time to say you were worried, you could try sending a follow-up with something like "Did you get my text"? Maybe he really did forget and he's not ignoring you.

Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob

Anyone who takes longer than 12 hours is either ignoring you, lazy, confused, forgot or thinks the conversation is over. Everyone is glued to their phones these days, and the funny thing is 'i'm busy' - yeah you're really too busy to drop a five minute conversation now and then, your day is just that full.

I disagree. Some of my friends usually take a bit longer to reply (e.g. the next day or 2 days later) so I try to be a bit more reasonable than that and give them a few days. But what really ***** me off is people who have no common courtesy and can't be bothered to return my phone call or text. People who blatantly open the message, read it and then ignore it. It's the same for girls as it is with guys, except girls do it a hell of a lot more. Yes, everyone is glued to their phones but when I send a text I'm really not expecting to have a long conversation. One reply from the other person is sufficient, and anyone who can't spend 10 seconds or less writing a reply doesn't deserve my trust. No one is so busy that they can't spare 10 seconds of their day. I can understand if people think it's pointless to reply to me when I say to them "hope you are well, let's catch up soon". But it's so frustrating when I ask them a favour like "can you send me your email address, I've got to forward you the work for our group project" and I just get ignored. Sometimes calling a person instead doesn't make up for it - they deliberately ignore the phone when they see I'm calling. I think that's a horrible way to treat anyone.

I'm thinking of doing an experiment next time I meet a friend in person who hasn't text me back for ages. I'll wait until they're in front of me, glued to their phone, and send them a text. Then I'll see how long it takes them to notice.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 42

Anonymous #1

Original post by asif007

If you text him last time to say you were worried, you could try sending a follow-up with something like "Did you get my text"? Maybe he really did forget and he's not ignoring you.

.

When did I say I was worried to him? And sending that text would be well needy, I barely know the guy

Reply 43

asif007

Original post by Anonymous

When did I say I was worried to him? And sending that text would be well needy, I barely know the guy

Oh, I must have misunderstood what you meant. Just leave it then, why are you stressing about it if you barely know him?

Reply 44

Anonymous #1

Original post by asif007

Oh, I must have misunderstood what you meant. Just leave it then, why are you stressing about it if you barely know him?

Yeah you're right, I dont know why I'm stressing tbh, I need to find better things to do with my time

Reply 45

keturah

Original post by Anonymous

Did he even apologize or give a reason why he stopped replying? Good on you for passing! Had you moved on by that point?

No, he acted like nothing had changed. I'd started seeing someone else anyway :smile:

Reply 46

Jaeger12

I tend to find that sometimes guys 'test' you. They disappear to see how you will react to it. I tend to let them and if they come back I make it known how upsetting it is (but without nagging at them). If they don't come back then it's their loss.

a person who wants you in their life will make an effort.
There is also a saying, if they disappear then you should disappear off the face of the earth too. get on with your own life, show that you are also busy. Their intentions will soon show.

It doesn't apply to everybody. But from experience I find when a guy is falling sometimes he has to take a step back and sort his head out.

Reply 47

Jaeger12

Also, I don't like the idea of texting. I personally think if you are really interested in each other you should be calling.

Reply 48

Anonymous #4

send him a double message ,the double message should be his name,or 'btw'. It will peak his curiosity and if he's truly interested he'll respond quicker (say,from a day ,to like maybe an hour or 2) . Who doesnt love to here their names ? :smile:

Reply 49

lily1120

Yeah, it is really annoying !!! esp when he asked a question, you replied, and there is no more message!!! makes me go nuts badly..

Reply 50

lily1120

Original post by Jaeger12

Also, I don't like the idea of texting. I personally think if you are really interested in each other you should be calling.

yeah, calling is really nice but sometimes texting can record those lovely moment while calls have nothing left. But the best thing is you text something, maybe because you are not happy or waht, and then he called to comfort you.. this moment is really nice!

Reply 51

GaelicBolshevik

Original post by Anonymous

It drives me nuts not knowing if they've lost interest or what, and it alwaaays seems to happen. I get annoyed and want to delete their number but that might be a bit rash :/

Girls does this happen to you? :

Spoiler

In fairness he probably fell asleep. Or went out. Or forgot to charge his phone.

If not he's probably a ****boy.

Although note that this is more likely to happen to guys - girls are useless at feckin texting boys back.

Reply 52

asif007

Original post by Jaeger12

It's a shame that doesn't work in reverse too. Girls are ignorant, they will deliberately ignore a message and they don't give a **** about whether a guy pursues them further or not. No guy can try the trick you mention on a girl, cos she will just let them do it. She doesn't care if a guy disappears on her, she's a whore and can find another guy to start texting instead. All I want to know is why girls make a huge issue out of replying to a ******* text - it does no harm, requires no time or effort and doesn't imply that she is romantically interested in a guy. It's just common courtesy and basic manners. Shame that very very few girls seem to have that nowadays.

Reply 53

Anonymous #1

Original post by keturah

No, he acted like nothing had changed. I'd started seeing someone else anyway :smile:

what a knob :/

Reply 54

Anonymous #1

Original post by DMcGovern

What fell asleep for a few days?!

Reply 55

GaelicBolshevik

Original post by Anonymous

What fell asleep for a few days?!

Hey it wasn't me, I can't tell you what I don't know! :biggrin:

Doesn't happen to me

Original post by Goaded

Doesn't happen to me

lucky you

Reply 58

Anonymous #5

I know you said you were traditional, but maybe you should message him. Since you haven't talked to him for a few days, it won't make you seem desperate.

Maybe say something like "can I ask you something?" And ask an interesting question about himself. 1) it gives you grounds for a conversation and 2) at least that way, if he does this all again (as in doesnt reply) you'll know for sure that he's not interested and it'll give you closure to move on.

Just my two cents.

Reply 59

theDanIdentity

Original post by Anonymous

hmm the last thing i want is for someone to just go out with me just coz i asked

I think Im just going to have to move on..

Im confused. Correct me if im wrong, but isnt that what usually happens when guys ask? What makes it any different if You, as a girl, do for a change? Are we not all humans with a fear of rejection & happiness when excited? What am i not seeing?😂