Roommate keeps taking my money
So I have this roommate who decided it was a wonderful idea to use pretty much all of her student loan, minus accommodation, on partying, drinking etc.
Now that she doesn't have any money left, she constantly pesters me about it and begs for my money. She guilt trips me by telling me that she is 'starving' and can't concentrate on her revision. How anyone can go to a point like this is beyond me. I feel like I am raising a grown child. What makes it worse is that this is her second year of Uni, so you would expect for her to be able to manage her money properly, but no.
Anyway, I've asked her to contact the university's finance office and maybe ask for an emergency loan but she has refused. I myself haven't got that much money for myself let alone feeding and basically caring for someone else.
I've tried sitting down and talking to her but she just won't listen. Any suggestions on what I should do?
Now that she doesn't have any money left, she constantly pesters me about it and begs for my money. She guilt trips me by telling me that she is 'starving' and can't concentrate on her revision. How anyone can go to a point like this is beyond me. I feel like I am raising a grown child. What makes it worse is that this is her second year of Uni, so you would expect for her to be able to manage her money properly, but no.
Anyway, I've asked her to contact the university's finance office and maybe ask for an emergency loan but she has refused. I myself haven't got that much money for myself let alone feeding and basically caring for someone else.
I've tried sitting down and talking to her but she just won't listen. Any suggestions on what I should do?
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Cut her off. Just say no.
You shouldn't have to waste your money because she can't be responsible. If you want to be nice then help her make a budget so she can manager her money.
If she is starving and can't concentrate on her revision then it will teach her to be responsible. She needs to grow up and sort out the emergency loan thing.
You shouldn't have to waste your money because she can't be responsible. If you want to be nice then help her make a budget so she can manager her money.
If she is starving and can't concentrate on her revision then it will teach her to be responsible. She needs to grow up and sort out the emergency loan thing.
You need to be selfish, I reckon. If she has wasted her £3000 or whatever, after accommodation on drinking and partying, that's her fault. She should not be scrounging off of you. Otherwise she is, in essence, having her loan and half of yours. Worst case scenario, buy her small amounts of food to get her through the 'I'm starving' but not enough to let her become dependent. Essentially, use financial tactics to push her into applying for the emergency loan. It'll do you both the world of good.
A hard slap into reality should solve the problem
That's absolutely not right. 
If she is a friend too, I suppose it's gonna be a bit difficult to cut her off. If she isn't I think you better look into it once and for all. I suppose the best option is to not leave money in your room, rather carry it with you. And dont let her in on how much you've got.
If she is a friend too, I suppose it's gonna be a bit difficult to cut her off. If she isn't I think you better look into it once and for all. I suppose the best option is to not leave money in your room, rather carry it with you. And dont let her in on how much you've got.Original post by PurplePixie96
Cut her off. Just say no.
You shouldn't have to waste your money because she can't be responsible. If you want to be nice then help her make a budget so she can manager her money.
If she is starving and can't concentrate on her revision then it will teach her to be responsible. She needs to grow up and sort out the emergency loan thing.
You shouldn't have to waste your money because she can't be responsible. If you want to be nice then help her make a budget so she can manager her money.
If she is starving and can't concentrate on her revision then it will teach her to be responsible. She needs to grow up and sort out the emergency loan thing.
Original post by Jackieox
Just refuse and don't give in. If she's "Starving" then she can stop going out and get herself a job.
Just tell her that you don't have much money left and you can't. Don't feel bad it's not your responsibility to feed her x
Just tell her that you don't have much money left and you can't. Don't feel bad it's not your responsibility to feed her x
Original post by Tinemither
You need to be selfish, I reckon. If she has wasted her £3000 or whatever, after accommodation on drinking and partying, that's her fault. She should not be scrounging off of you. Otherwise she is, in essence, having her loan and half of yours. Worst case scenario, buy her small amounts of food to get her through the 'I'm starving' but not enough to let her become dependent. Essentially, use financial tactics to push her into applying for the emergency loan. It'll do you both the world of good.
She's one of my good friends so I'd probably feel really bad cutting her off, she doesn't have any money left at all, I mean she probably has around a few pounds in her bank account. I've also suggested getting a job but she said she needs time to concentrate and focus on her revision, although most of the time I see her on her phone. If I was to point that out though, she'd probably start accusing me to try and make me feel guilty. I'm generally a bit of a pushover so that helps her case a lot.
Original post by vela1
Let her starve, takes ages for someone to die from starvation.
Original post by Aydin7
A hard slap into reality should solve the problem
A hard slap into reality should solve the problem
Hahaha
Original post by Hamoody
That's absolutely not right. If she is a friend too, I suppose it's gonna be a bit difficult to cut her off. If she isn't I think you better look into it once and for all. I suppose the best option is to not leave money in your room, rather carry it with you. And dont let her in on how much you've got.
If she is a friend too, I suppose it's gonna be a bit difficult to cut her off. If she isn't I think you better look into it once and for all. I suppose the best option is to not leave money in your room, rather carry it with you. And dont let her in on how much you've got.She's one of my good and only friends so yeah it is a it hard. I don't really leave my money around, it's more of her just asking for it and then making me feel really guilty if I try to say no.
Original post by Idkwhatthisis
She's one of my good and only friends so yeah it is a it hard. I don't really leave my money around, it's more of her just asking for it and then making me feel really guilty if I try to say no.
Owh then I see you've got yourself into a tight spot
Original post by Idkwhatthisis
She's one of my good friends so I'd probably feel really bad cutting her off, she doesn't have any money left at all, I mean she probably has around a few pounds in her bank account. I've also suggested getting a job but she said she needs time to concentrate and focus on her revision, although most of the time I see her on her phone. If I was to point that out though, she'd probably start accusing me to try and make me feel guilty. I'm generally a bit of a pushover so that helps her case a lot.
She's one of my good and only friends so yeah it is a it hard. I don't really leave my money around, it's more of her just asking for it and then making me feel really guilty if I try to say no.
She's one of my good and only friends so yeah it is a it hard. I don't really leave my money around, it's more of her just asking for it and then making me feel really guilty if I try to say no.
With the job thing i'm working 20-30 hours a week because I have no choice. Even if she did 8 hours on the weekend at least thats something.
Just be strong and say no.
A way to ease the guilt would be buy her enough basic food to survive so she's not "starving" then she can have food and it should ease the guilt because you're still helping her
fight to the death, the winner gets the dolla
Original post by Hamoody
Owh then I see you've got yourself into a tight spot
Yeah aha 😅
Original post by Jackieox
With the job thing i'm working 20-30 hours a week because I have no choice. Even if she did 8 hours on the weekend at least thats something.
Just be strong and say no.
A way to ease the guilt would be buy her enough basic food to survive so she's not "starving" then she can have food and it should ease the guilt because you're still helping her
Just be strong and say no.
A way to ease the guilt would be buy her enough basic food to survive so she's not "starving" then she can have food and it should ease the guilt because you're still helping her
I'll talk to her about it again today. And I never thought of that, thanks!
Original post by meediaabid
fight to the death, the winner gets the dolla
😂😂😂
Original post by Idkwhatthisis
So I have this roommate who decided it was a wonderful idea to use pretty much all of her student loan, minus accommodation, on partying, drinking etc.
Now that she doesn't have any money left, she constantly pesters me about it and begs for my money. She guilt trips me by telling me that she is 'starving' and can't concentrate on her revision. How anyone can go to a point like this is beyond me. I feel like I am raising a grown child. What makes it worse is that this is her second year of Uni, so you would expect for her to be able to manage her money properly, but no.
Anyway, I've asked her to contact the university's finance office and maybe ask for an emergency loan but she has refused. I myself haven't got that much money for myself let alone feeding and basically caring for someone else.
I've tried sitting down and talking to her but she just won't listen. Any suggestions on what I should do?
Now that she doesn't have any money left, she constantly pesters me about it and begs for my money. She guilt trips me by telling me that she is 'starving' and can't concentrate on her revision. How anyone can go to a point like this is beyond me. I feel like I am raising a grown child. What makes it worse is that this is her second year of Uni, so you would expect for her to be able to manage her money properly, but no.
Anyway, I've asked her to contact the university's finance office and maybe ask for an emergency loan but she has refused. I myself haven't got that much money for myself let alone feeding and basically caring for someone else.
I've tried sitting down and talking to her but she just won't listen. Any suggestions on what I should do?
The fact that she's trying to manipulate you into passing over more money and won't listen to your suggestions makes me completely unsympathetic to her. As a second year student at university she really should know better.
I'll be blunt and say she made her bed so she can lay in it. Don't you get in it as well. Tell her to either apply for an emergency loan and start getting her act together or she can pack her stuff and drop out. Don't give her any more assistance or money -- that's yours.
If she's really starving she'll walk her merry way up to the student finance section at your uni and sort herself out.
Original post by Idkwhatthisis
So I have this roommate who decided it was a wonderful idea to use pretty much all of her student loan, minus accommodation, on partying, drinking etc.
Now that she doesn't have any money left, she constantly pesters me about it and begs for my money. She guilt trips me by telling me that she is 'starving' and can't concentrate on her revision. How anyone can go to a point like this is beyond me. I feel like I am raising a grown child. What makes it worse is that this is her second year of Uni, so you would expect for her to be able to manage her money properly, but no.
Anyway, I've asked her to contact the university's finance office and maybe ask for an emergency loan but she has refused. I myself haven't got that much money for myself let alone feeding and basically caring for someone else.
I've tried sitting down and talking to her but she just won't listen. Any suggestions on what I should do?
Now that she doesn't have any money left, she constantly pesters me about it and begs for my money. She guilt trips me by telling me that she is 'starving' and can't concentrate on her revision. How anyone can go to a point like this is beyond me. I feel like I am raising a grown child. What makes it worse is that this is her second year of Uni, so you would expect for her to be able to manage her money properly, but no.
Anyway, I've asked her to contact the university's finance office and maybe ask for an emergency loan but she has refused. I myself haven't got that much money for myself let alone feeding and basically caring for someone else.
I've tried sitting down and talking to her but she just won't listen. Any suggestions on what I should do?
i see so it's your fault she can't manage her money properly?
You may be her friend but she is using you
Sometimes you just have to be blunt, if she's wasted her money and not managed it properly it isn't your concern especially if you don't have much money either as a student.
Original post by Idkwhatthisis
So I have this roommate who decided it was a wonderful idea to use pretty much all of her student loan, minus accommodation, on partying, drinking etc.
Now that she doesn't have any money left, she constantly pesters me about it and begs for my money. She guilt trips me by telling me that she is 'starving' and can't concentrate on her revision. How anyone can go to a point like this is beyond me. I feel like I am raising a grown child. What makes it worse is that this is her second year of Uni, so you would expect for her to be able to manage her money properly, but no.
Anyway, I've asked her to contact the university's finance office and maybe ask for an emergency loan but she has refused. I myself haven't got that much money for myself let alone feeding and basically caring for someone else.
I've tried sitting down and talking to her but she just won't listen. Any suggestions on what I should do?
Now that she doesn't have any money left, she constantly pesters me about it and begs for my money. She guilt trips me by telling me that she is 'starving' and can't concentrate on her revision. How anyone can go to a point like this is beyond me. I feel like I am raising a grown child. What makes it worse is that this is her second year of Uni, so you would expect for her to be able to manage her money properly, but no.
Anyway, I've asked her to contact the university's finance office and maybe ask for an emergency loan but she has refused. I myself haven't got that much money for myself let alone feeding and basically caring for someone else.
I've tried sitting down and talking to her but she just won't listen. Any suggestions on what I should do?
Tell her to get a job and to get her emergency loan sorted out; it's not your fault she was so stupid with her money, is it?
Original post by Idkwhatthisis
She's one of my good friends
No she isn't - she's using you. Good friends don't do that.
so I'd probably feel really bad cutting her off,
Deal with it. Nobody can control your feelings for you.
she doesn't have any money left at all,
Then she needs to learn that actions have consequences and she has to suffer those consequences. Otherwise she'll just carry on behaving like this. By giving her money, you're enabling the behaviour you so dislike. You could stop it tomorrow by cutting her cash off.
I mean she probably has around a few pounds in her bank account.
Good. Force her to use them.
I've also suggested getting a job but she said she needs time to concentrate and focus on her revision,
Plenty of other people study and revise with part-time jobs. Why should she be any different? She's just a selfish lazy user. Why should she work when she can use you as a cash machine?
although most of the time I see her on her phone
So you've established that she's lying then. And how can she afford a phone if she has no money?
. If I was to point that out though, she'd probably start accusing me to try and make me feel guilty.
Then don't feel guilty. Nobody controls your feelings except you. And you can point out the things I've raised here in response.
I'm generally a bit of a pushover so that helps her case a lot.
Then stop being a pushover and grow up. It doesn't help her case - it's just you being weak.
She's one of my good and only friends
a) Not a friend - see above. b) She's using the fact that you have few friends, against you. You are effectively buying her services as a false friend. That's up to you. You can decide to keep buying her pretend friendship if you want - maybe it's worth the cost if you're that desperate? You'll never hear from her again once you stop sharing a place with her, this I guarantee.
it's more of her just asking for it and then making me feel really guilty if I try to say no.
There is no try. Either do, or do not. If you give her money, that's your choice. The thing about actions/consequences applies to you as well. Stop whinging that you don't like it. If you don't like it that much, stop doing it. It really is that simple,
The pair of you need to grow up.
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