My dad just asked if I wanted to get engaged to a girl in a picture

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Reply 140

username2427341

Original post by Indeterminate

You must be Asian :rofl:

I'd stay well away from this arranged marriage business if I were you :colonhash:

Hahaha lol arrange marriages are mostly done by Asians :biggrin:

Reply 141

username2427341

Original post by BristolFresher15

That is pretty much all that they go on. That; whether the person is from a 'respectable' family; and their education or prospects too.

Superficial things like image are paramount to that society.

Omg your right about that. My mom was looking for marriage for her youngest sister and all she cared about was the family.....she was about to get her married to a 4o year old man and shes 27 :biggrin:

Reply 142

tootles44

Original post by asif007

Put it this way: your affinity for an arranged marriage depends on how much you trust your parents to find the right person for you. Studies have shown that parents are most likely to choose someone with similar personality traits to themselves as potential suitors for their children. My mum can be a ***** sometimes, even the smallest thing can set her off and she will have a go at me for trivial things - so obviously that puts me off anyone she tries to choose for me and I can't trust her with that kind of responsbility. Not to mention that girls change a lot after marriage - they let themselves go, they stop being innocent and they just ***** about everything. Why would I want any of that BS when I can live my life without any of those worries and **** all the girls I want? Food for thought.

I completely agree with you but have studies actually been done on parents picking partners to themselves?! Can you show/tell me more?

Reply 143

BristolFresher15

Original post by *Alisha*

Yup, its a very silly system.

Reply 144

asif007

Original post by tootles44

I completely agree with you but have studies actually been done on parents picking partners to themselves?! Can you show/tell me more?

I don't have time to go looking for particular studies but I'm sure any journal of Psychology/Sociology/Family Dynamics will support my point.

What do you mean by "parents picking partners to themselves"? That's not what an arranged marriage is. Parents choose people for their children, not themselves.

Reply 145

tootles44

Original post by asif007

oops meant to write 'similar to themselves'

Reply 146

asif007

Original post by tootles44

oops meant to write 'similar to themselves'

Oh ok. Well the same point still stands - parents look for people who match themselves in terms of wealth, status, culture, hobbies, body language, behaviour etc as the best suitors for their children. Parents believe their children will be most receptive to characteristics in a partner that are similar to their parents (i.e. what they've been raised with). Which is why I don't want my mum choosing anyone for me.

Reply 147

dozyrosie

Maybe OPs dad could try her out in a temporary marriage, then he could rate her. If she makes an eight then OP could marry her.

Reply 148

BristolFresher15

Original post by dozyrosie

Maybe OPs dad could try her out in a temporary marriage, then he could rate her. If she makes an eight then OP could marry her.

OP's dad is already content, thank you very much.

And if I'm going to get arranged to someone, they'd have to be at least a 9.99 :colone:

Reply 149

lNurl

Original post by asif007

this guy is right, parents unconsciously chose people similar to themselves, one reason is, because of the culture, they believe their kids are similar to them too, however kids now (especially muslim), hide their true feelings, thinking and wishes around their parents to make them happy (and not to get lectured about things).