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I have a crush on my friend and I can't handle it

All I feel like doing is pushing him away -which I do by telling him what a terrible person I am because I can't handle it, it's very unlikely he feels the same.

He has supported me through some difficult times but now I fear I like him much more than a friend should, I find myself obsessing over what he says and not wanting to let go when we hug.

How do I deal with this without telling him how I feel?
Bottle it up inside until you become suicidally depressed and are rushed to hospital in a desperate effort to keep you alive after an attempt.
If he likes you back, he will bring you flowers and chocolates while you come to terms with what permanent damage you have to now live with.
Reply 2
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Anonymous #1
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Hehehe but seriously?

It's starting to become intolerable. He makes me feel so good but so bad at the same time.
Tell him how you feel. If a girl liked me I would want to know.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 4
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by TercioOfParma
Tell him how you feel. If a girl liked me I would want to know.


Even if you didn't feel the same?

When someone asked if we were together he just smirked and said typical how people think people of the opposite sex can't be friends.

He's been really supportive; he tells me all the time he just wants to see me happy and how much he believes in me. I genuinely love his company but developing feelings for him has kind of ruined that.
Original post by Anonymous
Even if you didn't feel the same?

When someone asked if we were together he just smirked and said typical how people think people of the opposite sex can't be friends.

He's been really supportive; he tells me all the time he just wants to see me happy and how much he believes in me. I genuinely love his company but developing feelings for him has kind of ruined that.


Even if I didn't like her, I would make an attempt to be a good friend.

Love, it sounds like he wants you, I wouldn't say I only wanted the best for a girl unless I liked her. Of the two girls I have liked, I have only ever said that about them.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by TercioOfParma
Tell him how you feel. If a girl liked me I would want to know.


That one
Reply 7
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by TercioOfParma
Even if I didn't like her, I would make an attempt to be a good friend.

Love, it sounds like he wants you, I wouldn't say I only wanted the best for a girl unless I liked her. Of the two girls I have liked, I have only ever said that about them.


But when I have asked him why he bothers and why he is so invested he just says something like - I like to help all my friends, or words to that effect.

I'm the one who always starts a conversation when we don't see each other in person, although we communicate really well in person and can happily sit and chat for hours at a time.

I thought if guys like someone back they would make it clear and I really don't think he has and so it's bit depressing that I've caught feelings for him.

(Thank you for your replies btw :smile:)
Original post by Anonymous
But when I have asked him why he bothers and why he is so invested he just says something like - I like to help all my friends, or words to that effect.

I'm the one who always starts a conversation when we don't see each other in person, although we communicate really well in person and can happily sit and chat for hours at a time.

I thought if guys like someone back they would make it clear and I really don't think he has and so it's bit depressing that I've caught feelings for him.

(Thank you for your replies btw :smile:)

I wouldn't admit I like a girl to her face either. I am really timid like that. I also don't really start conversations either, but I like them.

Some men are like that, some men aren't.
Reply 9
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by TercioOfParma
I wouldn't admit I like a girl to her face either. I am really timid like that. I also don't really start conversations either, but I like them.

Some men are like that, some men aren't.


I don't think I'm good enough for him so I just feel he would never find me attractive in that way.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't think I'm good enough for him so I just feel he would never find me attractive in that way.


That's a stupid reason. He has made the effort to make you feel better about yourself, he obviously likes you.

I say it's stupid because that's the kind of silly reasoning that has held me back and likely continues to at a subconcious level.

Trust me, when he says he just wants you to be happy he means he wants you to be happy WITH HIM.
Original post by Anonymous
All I feel like doing is pushing him away -which I do by telling him what a terrible person I am because I can't handle it, it's very unlikely he feels the same.

He has supported me through some difficult times but now I fear I like him much more than a friend should, I find myself obsessing over what he says and not wanting to let go when we hug.

How do I deal with this without telling him how I feel?


I recently just slipped out of the friend zone after being in it for around 18 months, so I think I got off lucky :' )

In your case, as much as we convince ourselves we can - we actually can't read anyone's mind or interpret 'signs' too well, so if you're holding yourself back from telling him because you suspect he doesn't feel the same, then you could be missing out on him liking you in return. How would you feel about letting him know? :smile:
This is why opposite genders can never be friends. Somehow or the other feelings will arise.

Good luck though.
Original post by Ridingmyego
I recently just slipped out of the friend zone after being in it for around 18 months, so I think I got off lucky :' )

In your case, as much as we convince ourselves we can - we actually can't read anyone's mind or interpret 'signs' too well, so if you're holding yourself back from telling him because you suspect he doesn't feel the same, then you could be missing out on him liking you in return. How would you feel about letting him know? :smile:


hi :smile: I'm worried that he already knows but doesn't feel the same but also doesn't want to make it awkward for me that he know.

The thought of telling him is terrifying because deep down I know what the answer is going to be despite how supportive he is or whatever he says.
It's incredible how everyone is falling in love with me this week :u:

Getting a bit bored though. Try something original :yawn:
Original post by Anonymous
hi :smile: I'm worried that he already knows but doesn't feel the same but also doesn't want to make it awkward for me that he know.

The thought of telling him is terrifying because deep down I know what the answer is going to be despite how supportive he is or whatever he says.


How does he already know?
Original post by TercioOfParma
How does he already know?


Because he knows me really well, he knows/can easily predict how I react to things. He's just very perceptive. I might have done or said something which would make realise that I have feelings I shouldn't have.
Original post by Anonymous
Because he knows me really well, he knows/can easily predict how I react to things. He's just very perceptive. I might have done or said something which would make realise that I have feelings I shouldn't have.


Don't act as if anything is certain. Tell him explicitly.
Original post by TercioOfParma
Don't act as if anything is certain. Tell him explicitly.


How do I actually tell him without freaking him out though?

I don't even know why I want him when he keeps all his feelings about stuff in his head yet gives off the impression of being a direct person.

I feel like if I told him I would be telling him to end the friendship we do have as in telling him why I can't see him anymore because I don't think I can handle the outcome of me telling him.
Original post by Anonymous
How do I actually tell him without freaking him out though?

I don't even know why I want him when he keeps all his feelings about stuff in his head yet gives off the impression of being a direct person.

I feel like if I told him I would be telling him to end the friendship we do have as in telling him why I can't see him anymore because I don't think I can handle the outcome of me telling him.


"Hey babe, you want to get a burger sometime" or something. I wouldn't end a friendship with a girl that liked me.

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