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How can I shake this guy?

So I met this 'girl' on Tinder, anyhoo we arranged to meet and turns out she is a he who want's to tie me up and have a threesome with me and his exceptionally hairy mother, so I did what any sane person would do and ran, he's currently chasing me through the streets of Dundee, has anyone got any experience of this kind of situation which you could offer me to help me shake him?
Original post by John55
So I met this 'girl' on Tinder, anyhoo we arranged to meet and turns out she is a he who want's to tie me up and have a threesome with me and his exceptionally hairy mother, so I did what any sane person would do and ran, he's currently chasing me through the streets of Dundee, has anyone got any experience of this kind of situation which you could offer me to help me shake him?


Tell him you are a geezer called John and you lied
Original post by John55
So I met this 'girl' on Tinder, anyhoo we arranged to meet and turns out she is a he who want's to tie me up and have a threesome with me and his exceptionally hairy mother, so I did what any sane person would do and ran, he's currently chasing me through the streets of Dundee, has anyone got any experience of this kind of situation which you could offer me to help me shake him?


Find Ms Pinapple! She will sort him out I'm sure!
Original post by John55
So I met this 'girl' on Tinder, anyhoo we arranged to meet and turns out she is a he who want's to tie me up and have a threesome with me and his exceptionally hairy mother, so I did what any sane person would do and ran, he's currently chasing me through the streets of Dundee, has anyone got any experience of this kind of situation which you could offer me to help me shake him?


Maybe call the police, you have those in Scotland or do you still dance around fires praying to the tree spirits?
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John55
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Original post by ODES_PDES
Tell him you are a geezer called John and you lied


I'm skinny af though, this dude's mum is more of a geezer than me...
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Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
Find Ms Pinapple! She will sort him out I'm sure!


...I'd rather just have this threesome tbh :s-smilie:.
Original post by John55
So I met this 'girl' on Tinder, anyhoo we arranged to meet and turns out she is a he who want's to tie me up and have a threesome with me and his exceptionally hairy mother, so I did what any sane person would do and ran, he's currently chasing me through the streets of Dundee, has anyone got any experience of this kind of situation which you could offer me to help me shake him?


Was his name Norman Bates by any chance?
What sort of glue do you sniff?
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Original post by toronto353
Was his name Norman Bates by any chance?


I thought he was Wendy who likes walking and cats! :bawling:
Original post by John55
I thought he was Wendy who likes walking and cats! :bawling:


To be fair, anyone could have mistaken Norman for Wendy, it's so easy, look at his pic:

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Original post by TercioOfParma
Maybe call the police, you have those in Scotland or do you still dance around fires praying to the tree spirits?


The tree spirit's are all dicks, they always put out our fires and eat the porridge :angry:.
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Original post by hezzlington
What sort of glue do you sniff?


I sniffed a Pritt Stick once...
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Original post by toronto353
To be fair, anyone could have mistaken Norman for Wendy, it's so easy, look at his pic:



Crikey, Norman hasn't aged well...
Original post by John55
Crikey, Norman hasn't aged well...


Wait til you see his mother:

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Original post by toronto353
Wait til you see his mother:



:rofl:

Spoiler

Original post by John55
:rofl:

Spoiler



Perhaps she might be the one for you? You'll have to ditch the daughter though, hey there might be a Jeremy Kyle special in that for you to go on - silver linings and all that.
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Original post by toronto353
Perhaps she might be the one for you? You'll have to ditch the daughter though, hey there might be a Jeremy Kyle special in that for you to go on - silver linings and all that.


It's always been a dream of mine to go on the Jeremy Kyle Show :daydreaming:.
Original post by John55
It's always been a dream of mine to go on the Jeremy Kyle Show :daydreaming:.


The topic presumably being 'I want to ditch this cross dressing men for his crossing dressing mother, an all round great guy' or just 'my life's ****ed up, help!'
Reply 18
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Original post by toronto353
The topic presumably being 'I want to ditch this cross dressing men for his crossing dressing mother, an all round great guy' or just 'my life's ****ed up, help!'


It all sounds lovely but I need to survive the night first...

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