Muslim girls, how would you feel if your husband came out as bisexual?

I'd be quite angry if I found out after the marriage.
I'd also question why you'd be telling me that particular piece of information - if it wasn't going to affect you, then you'd have kept it to yourself.

You'd be angry after marriage?

Does this mean if you found out previously, you wouldn't go through with the marriage?

Questioning why the OP would be telling you that info?

Because he wants to share everything about himself with you regardless of how extreme/petty it may seem to be. Thought that was pretty obvious.

Reply 41

Cobalt_

21

Original post by Anonymous

Basically I'm sexually attracted to both guys and girls. But I'm also a Muslim, so I don't do anything sexual with guys. And I am saving my virginity until marriage. I try to be a good Muslim in general, even if I do struggle to pray regularly.

But how would you feel if your husband/bf told you he was also attracted to guys? Would this be a major problem? I want to be open to my wife/gf but I'm not sure if I should keep this hidden :redface:

Look mate, I'm Bi myself and I was a Muslim also.

To be completely honest, you cant conclude on whether you should tell your future wife your real sexuality. It depends on the girl, how liberal/western she is and how accepting she is.
If you cant trust someone enough to tell them a close personal thing about yourself, is getting married to that person a wise choice?

Granted, there will be both muslim girls who will have an issue with it and some who may not. Most will to be honest as it goes against cultural norms as well as religion obviously. However if you meet the right lady, she should be able to accept you for who you are and not have a problem with it.

Good luck with everything.

Reply 42

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

tbh it would be really weird. i rather not know tbh coz it might make me see him in a diffrent way. tbh i would not know what to think , it' really weird thinking about it. okay, but just i did accept it, i would be worried when hangs around with his guy friends just like a guy or women may be worried when there partner hang's around with the opposite sex you know what i mean?

I would just hope she trusts me. I mean if I marry her, it's because I love her, and I wouldn't be doing anything with any other man or woman. But I get what you mean, it'd be like double the headache :lol:

Reply 43

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I'd be quite angry if I found out after the marriage.
I'd also question why you'd be telling me that particular piece of information - if it wasn't going to affect you, then you'd have kept it to yourself.

But isn't being honest a key part of marriage? Would you be happy if a guy hid how many previous partners he's had? Or that he's not actually a virgin?

Why is this different?

Original post by Cobalt_

Look mate, I'm Bi myself and I was a Muslim also.

To be completely honest, you cant conclude on whether you should tell your future wife your real sexuality. It depends on the girl, how liberal/western she is and how accepting she is.
If you cant trust someone enough to tell them a close personal thing about yourself, is getting married to that person a wise choice?

Granted, there will be both muslim girls who will have an issue with it and some who may not. Most will to be honest as it goes against cultural norms as well as religion obviously. However if you meet the right lady, she should be able to accept you for who you are and not have a problem with it.

Good luck with everything.

Reading this thread I've gathered it's best to see what girl is like, and how accepting of it she would be. Ultimately though, it's like I'd be telling her I'm cheating on another man, just telling her who I am.

My religion is important to me, I would just prefer a Muslim wife as we'd have no disagreements on raising our children a certain religion. But I understand what you're saying, I just hope I find an understanding wife.

Reply 44

Anonymous #1

OP

For the record. I am more attracted to girls than guys. I would say it's 65% attracted to girls, 35% to guys.

Reply 45

Anonymous #5

Original post by Anonymous

For the record. I am more attracted to girls than guys. I would say it's 65% attracted to girls, 35% to guys.

this is what I was saying.
I wouldn't mind as long as I know he was more attracted to me, and I'd respect the fact that he didn't act on it cause he knows it's not allowed in Islam.

Reply 46

Alevels112288

1

I think I would accept it and it wouldn't change how I felt about him
Tell your future wife and get it out in the open before you get married. There's no single way it can go... it just depends on how liberal/conservative she is.

Reply 47

asif007

19

Original post by imjustnotnormal

I don't think you can describe actions of anyone as part of a 'muslim cuture'. Islam is a religion not a race or country, I completely disagree that there is any sort of 'muslim culture' let alone this one as muslims come from around the world and each has their own culture and background. You may have mistaken what you call 'muslim culture' as attributes of your own culture. I'm a muslim and so is my entire family and I don't know of any relatives who are involved in this kind of relationship - in my culture, arranged marriages are not even dominant - people marry people who they want to marry.

You seem to have a very misogynistic view of women and even if there are some people that you know who are in this type of relationship, there is no reason for you to be so rude or fouled mouth. Besides, unless you are a part of those relationships I highly doubt you have an accurate idea of the dynamics of those relationships. Either way you can't label a whole group of people under one label, entirely based on you own experiences.

I don't think you've properly understood what I said. Do you know what culture means? Obviously every Muslim family leads their lives in different ways but all of them will have some of the same overlapping values regardless of where they're from. Things like family, marriage, money, status etc are all important priorities that every Muslim family is raised to work hard for. The same is true for Pakistani Muslims as it is for Arabs, Somalis, Malaysians etc etc. Just because these kinds of toxic women don't exist in your family (apparently), doesn't mean they don't do whatever the **** they want in other families. Arranged marriages, particularly in Pakistani families, are an opportunity for women to take advantage of their husbands in every way possible because the marriages only exist to keep the parents happy. Whenever you read about abusive Muslim families in the media, it's exclusively the mothers who exploit their daughters in law while the husbands are at work. If you want to see the same happening with other Muslims, all you need to do is take a trip to the UAE and observe the Emirati families over there. While the husbands are at work, all the women do is sit at home, get fat, spend all their husband's money, let the children run wild etc. Emirati husbands are helpless to do or say anything to their wives cos she will kick off and demand more money to shut her up. On the other hand, Muslim Somali men have figured out a good way of keeping their wives in check - by getting them to pop out one child after another after another until you see a Somali woman all by herself with 9 kids in tow.

You're a girl, obviously you're not gonna believe all the insight I'm providing about how women really behave after marriage. But just cos everyone seems to go for love marriages in your family, doesn't mean they aren't safe from these kinds of problems. Women change after marriage, I've seen almost all of my female friends become ******* after they got married. Whether it's love or arranged, women get comfortable once they're married and have become part of another family, so they take advantage and start manipulating their husbands to give them money, expensive gifts etc. It's female instinct, it's what hormones have programmed them to do and no matter how much you deny it, this is what women do. It's not exclusive to Muslim women, but because family is such a big thing for Muslims, they get away with this **** much easier than women of any other religion/upbringing.

Reply 48

RosyPearl

12

It's not a problem unless you act on it during the relationship. If I was the girl then id be relieved you opened up to me than tell me 10 years down the line when we have kids. Pick someone who you are really attracted to and if you are cultured, I wouldn't advice you go for an arranged marriage.

Reply 49

ChildOfTony

1

Original post by Anonymous

Basically I'm sexually attracted to both guys and girls. But I'm also a Muslim, so I don't do anything sexual with guys. And I am saving my virginity until marriage. I try to be a good Muslim in general, even if I do struggle to pray regularly.

But how would you feel if your husband/bf told you he was also attracted to guys? Would this be a major problem? I want to be open to my wife/gf but I'm not sure if I should keep this hidden :redface:

I suspect many will claim their dowry and run

Reply 50

Alevels112288

1

Original post by RosyPearl

It's not a problem unless you act on it during the relationship. If I was the girl then id be relieved you opened up to me than tell me 10 years down the line when we have kids. Pick someone who you are really attracted to and if you are cultured, I wouldn't advice you go for an arranged marriage.

RosyPearl from y!a... is that you?

Reply 51

RosyPearl

12

Original post by Alevels112288

RosyPearl from y!a... is that you?

Ooh la la I wonder which user you are? No I'm not the real RosyPearl, this account was made many moons ago when y/a was at its prime. She is a lovely girl though.

Reply 52

kb12345

2

I dont really think they would as they are married so it wouldnt really matter if you get what i mean?

Reply 53

al_94

14

You should tell anyone before they marry you. Why would a straight marry a bi I mean there are way more straight people anyway. Especially a Muslim most Muslims are not into the homo stuff

Reply 54

Anonymous #10

so you're telling me, my husbands sexually attracted to men, so while he married to me he's looking at other guys? not even other girls? loooool lock it off, I want a straight man bye

Reply 55

Anonymous #11

Original post by Anonymous

so you're telling me, my husbands sexually attracted to men, so while he married to me he's looking at other guys? not even other girls? loooool lock it off, I want a straight man bye

ditto

Reply 56

Anonymous #12

Original post by Anonymous

so you're telling me, my husbands sexually attracted to men, so while he married to me he's looking at other guys? not even other girls? loooool lock it off, I want a straight man bye

bi means he's attracted to both. he said it was 65% girls 35% guys. And why does it matter whether they're guys or girls? So long as he is attracted to you and isn't going to pursue anything, it shouldn't matter

Reply 57

Anonymous #12

Original post by al_94

You should tell anyone before they marry you. Why would a straight marry a bi I mean there are way more straight people anyway. Especially a Muslim most Muslims are not into the homo stuff

Why view the fact that he's bi as important? he shouldn't hide it, (he shouldn't have to) but he shouldn't feel any pressing need to reveal that fact above all others. your never going to know everything about someone, and if he's not going to pursue a relationship with anyone else (male or female), it has no impact on the marriage, so you shouldn't need to know. if it isn't going to effect you, why discount him because of that?

Reply 58

Anonymous #10

Original post by Anonymous

bi means he's attracted to both. he said it was 65% girls 35% guys. And why does it matter whether they're guys or girls? So long as he is attracted to you and isn't going to pursue anything, it shouldn't matter