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Devils wear masks [competition]

‘The devil is not as black as he is painted.’

The night was utterly quiet.

The rustling of leaves and buzzing of insects, the whistling of wind and chirping of birds… their absence was glaring.

Something about this grove was so depraved, so terrifying that it chilled his bones. Cold sweat etched its way down his neck, soaking his collar through.

What’s going on?

It just couldn’t be ignored; the silence was so loud it drowned everything else out.

And he collapsed, dropping to the packed stone beneath him, his legs suddenly weakening and folding under his weight. Mist rose as he panted heavily, struggling to push himself back onto his feet.

That silence… why was it so vast, so unyielding? Was it just a glass dome that, once shattered, would belch out all of the sounds that defined life?

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

The screech tore through heaven and earth,and Jayr’s heart leapt into his throat. His bare feet slipped, and the stone rushed up to meet him.

Jayr?

That was him, his name. Jayr. How had he forgotten? Or, more likely, how hadn’t he remembered?

Jaaaaayr…

That taunting tone… he knew it, and it filled him with an irrational fear. As he pushed himself back onto his knees, the pale scars that zigzagged across his legs stretched, beaming like white gold.

And suddenly it seized him, the grey memories of childhood. Bloody knees, sharp rocks, pinched and punched in places that left him whimpering. He felt it now, pain flaring up all across his body; he collapsed again, clenching his jaw as the familiar throes engulfed him.

Sorry…

The days were long, the nights even longer. It always ended with horrifying screams and wracking sobs sending waves of convulsions through her body.

Her…

Jayr looked down and realised, impossibly, he was holding a knife. Long and curved, the silver blade was stained with blood… as were his cuffs… and the rest of his shirt.

Crap!

Now he was screwed, she would skin him for this. He threw the bloody knife into a thicket of bushes, hands twitching, and tried to pull the crusted shirt over his head.

The skin beneath the cloth itched terribly, boils growing along Jayr’s arms. He scratched at them furiously, a moment of bliss preceding agony unlike anything he’d ever felt. He growled, blinking away tears, trying to ignore it all.

Yet everything was still so… quiet.

And that was it… a wave of clarity suddenly broke upon the cliff.

Everything around Jayr was pristine, regal, unspoiled… he had to be the problem, the mishap, the single corrupt being in this ... paradise.

Jayr crawled to the edge of the road, reached for the knife, and tried to get back up. His body betrayed him, and he fell yet again. Resigning himself to his fate, he simply rolled over to face the unblemished canvas stretching out above him.

Clenching the knife hard enough to pop his knuckles, he pulled his arm back, and slashed at the stars before him.

The dome shattered, and the sounds rushed in.

Meaning/Backstory:

Spoiler

p.s. that first line up there isn't part of the story, it's just the quote this piece was based on

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 1

Alexion

Brilliant piece of writing :woo:

I really felt the darkness in that...

Reply 2

the bear

Original post by Dohaeris

‘The devil is not as black as he is painted.’

The night was utterly quiet.

The rustling of leaves and buzzing of insects, the whistling of wind and chirping of birds… their absence was glaring.

Something about this grove was depraved, so terrifying that it chilled his bones. Cold sweat etched its way down his neck, soaking his collar through.

What’s going on?

It just couldn’t be ignored; the silence was so loud it drowned everything else out.

And he collapsed, dropping to the packed stone beneath him, his legs suddenly weakening and folding under his weight. Mist rose as he breathed heavily, struggling to push himself back onto his feet.

That silence… why was it so vast, so unyielding? Was it just a glass dome that, once shattered, would belch out all of the sounds that defined life?

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

The screech tore through heaven and earth,and Jayr’s heart jumped into his throat. His bare feet slipped, and the stone rushed up to meet him.

Jayr?

That was him, his name. Jayr. How had he forgotten? Or, more likely, how hadn’t he remembered?

Jaaaaayr…

That taunting tone… he knew it, and it filled him with an irrational fear. As he pushed himself back onto his knees, the pale scars that zigzagged across his legs stretched, beaming like white gold.

And suddenly it seized him, the grey memories of childhood. Bloody knees, sharp rocks, pinched and punched in places that left him whimpering. He felt it now, pain flaring up all across his body;he collapsed again, clenching his jaw as the familiar throes engulfed him.

Sorry…

The days were long, the nights even longer. It always ended with horrifying screams and wracking sobs sending waves of convulsions through her body.

Her…

Jayr looked down and realised, impossibly, he was holding a knife. Long and curved, the silver blade was stained with blood… aswere his cuffs… and the rest of his shirt.

****!

Now he was screwed, she would skin him for this. He threw the bloody knife into a thicket of bushes, hands twitching, and tried to pull the crusted shirt over his head.

The skin beneath the cloth itched terribly,boils growing along Jayr’s arms. He scratched at them furiously, a moment of bliss preceding agony unlike anything he’d ever felt. He growled, blinking away tears, trying to ignore it all.

Yet everything was still so… quiet.

And that was it… a wave of clarity suddenly broke upon the cliff. Everything around Jayr was pristine, regal,unspoiled… he had to be the problem,the mishap, the single corrupt being in this ... paradise.

Jayr crawled to the edge of the road,reached out for the knife, and tried to get back up. His body betrayed him, and he fell yet again. Resigning himself to his fate, he simply rolled over to face the unblemished canvas stretching out above him.

Clenching the knife hard enough to pop his knuckles,he pulled his arm back, and slashed at the stars before him. The dome shattered, and the sounds rushed in.

Meaning/Backstory:

Spoiler

p.s. that first line up there isn't part of the story, it's just the quote this piece was based on

‘The devil is not as black as he is painted.’
The night was utterly quiet.*

The rustling of leaves and buzzing of insects, the whistling of wind and chirping of birds… their absence was glaring.*Something about this grove was depraved, so terrifying that it chilled his bones. Cold sweat etched its way down his neck, soaking his collar through.What’s going on?*It just couldn’t be ignored; the silence was so loud it drowned everything else out.*And then he collapsed, dropping to the packed stone beneath him, his legs suddenly weakening and folding under his weight. Mist rose as he breathed heavily, struggling to push himself back onto his feet. That silence… why was it so vast, so unyielding? Was it just a glass dome that, once shattered, would belch out all of the sounds that defined life?EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!The screech tore through heaven and earth,and Jayr’s heart jumped into his throat. His bare feet slipped, and the stone rushed up to meet him. Jayr? That was him, his name. Jayr. How had he forgotten? Or, more likely, how hadn’t he remembered?*Jaaaaayr…That taunting tone… he knew it, and it filled him with an irrational fear. As he pushed himself back onto his knees, the pale scars that zigzagged across his legs stretched, beaming like white gold. And suddenly it seized him, the grey memories of childhood. Bloody knees, sharp rocks, pinched and punched in places that left him whimpering. He felt it now, pain flaring up all across his body;he collapsed again, clenching his jaw as the familiar throes engulfed him. Come…*The days were long, the nights even*longer.It*always ended with horrifying screams and wracking sobs sending waves of convulsions through her body. Her…Jayr looked down and realized, impossibly, he was holding a knife. Long and curved, the silver blade was stained with blood… as were his cuffs… and the rest of his shirt.* ****! Now he was screwed, she would skin him for this. He threw the bloody knife into a thicket of bushes, hands twitching, and tried to pull the crusted shirt over his head. The skin beneath the cloth itched terribly,boils growing along Jayr’s arms. He scratched at them furiously, a moment of bliss preceding agony unlike anything he’d ever felt. He growled, blinking away tears, trying to ignore it all. Yet everything was still so… quiet.*And that was it… a wave of clarity suddenly broke upon the cliff.*Everything around Jayr was pristine, regal,unspoiled…*he*had to be the problem,the mishap, the single corrupt being in this ... paradise. Jayr crawled to the edge of the road,reached out for the knife, and tried to get back up. His body betrayed him, and he fell yet again. Resigning himself to his fate, he simply rolled over to face the unblemished canvas stretching out above him.*Clenching the knife hard enough to pop his knuckles,he pulled his arm back, and slashed at the stars before him. The dome shattered, and the sounds rushed in.*

some of your words stuck together.... well done it is exactly 500 :five:

Reply 3

Dohaeris

Original post by the bear

...

some of your words stuck together.... well done it is exactly 500 :five:

Yeah, I don't know why it messed everything up, but fixed now

Reply 4

Dohaeris

Original post by Alexion

Brilliant piece of writing :woo:

I really felt the darkness in that...

Thanks!

Reply 5

etherealinsanity

I really loved the meaning/backstory behind this, and the writing itself was beautiful. :smile:

Reply 6

Dohaeris

Original post by etherealinsanity

I really loved the meaning/backstory behind this, and the writing itself was beautiful. :smile:

It was a lot more self-evident in the first draft, but that numbered over a thousand words (oops), so I had to cut significant parts of the story. I don't like it nearly as much now, but I still enjoyed writing it