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need YOUR help pls

so there`s this guy he`s just perfect character, personality wise and looks.
I like him! And I`ve never felt that someone could tick my checklist. He likes me to, but he feels we need things to go slow, if we want a future and I agree, were both only 19,so yeah. I kinda messed things up, he thinks i`m too obsessive and i swear too much and im too forward basically that theres no chase which i completely agree with. what should i do? how do i reverse his thinking?
Stop talking to him for a bit.

Play hard to get and act uninterested.
Original post by Anonymous
so there`s this guy he`s just perfect character, personality wise and looks.
I like him! And I`ve never felt that someone could tick my checklist. He likes me to, but he feels we need things to go slow, if we want a future and I agree, were both only 19,so yeah. I kinda messed things up, he thinks i`m too obsessive and i swear too much and im too forward basically that theres no chase which i completely agree with. what should i do? how do i reverse his thinking?


1. Plenty of people will tick your checklist and more over the years.
2. 19 is young so take things slow and steady, as you should perhaps always do regardless of age.
3. Why does he think you're too obsessive?
4. I hate foul language, why do you swear so much?
5. Are you a woman? I only ask as it can be odd for a male to have a woman who is so forward and that can scare some men away. Personally, I like it and think it is mature and sexy. But that depends on what you mean by being forward I guess? What is his issue with it exactly?
6. How do you reverse his thinking? You don't. Maybe there needs to be some effort on your part for changes but if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be.
Reply 3
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1682795
16
Original post by FailedTeacher
1. Plenty of people will tick your checklist and more over the years.
2. 19 is young so take things slow and steady, as you should perhaps always do regardless of age.
3. Why does he think you're too obsessive?
4. I hate foul language, why do you swear so much?
5. Are you a woman? I only ask as it can be odd for a male to have a woman who is so forward and that can scare some men away. Personally, I like it and think it is mature and sexy. But that depends on what you mean by being forward I guess? What is his issue with it exactly?
6. How do you reverse his thinking? You don't. Maybe there needs to be some effort on your part for changes but if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be.


Why you're the failed teacher?

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Reply 4
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Abstract_Prism
Stop talking to him for a bit.

Play hard to get and act uninterested.


Yeah that's what I'm going to do. Just hope it works 😪
Reply 5
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by FailedTeacher
1. Plenty of people will tick your checklist and more over the years.
2. 19 is young so take things slow and steady, as you should perhaps always do regardless of age.
3. Why does he think you're too obsessive?
4. I hate foul language, why do you swear so much?
5. Are you a woman? I only ask as it can be odd for a male to have a woman who is so forward and that can scare some men away. Personally, I like it and think it is mature and sexy. But that depends on what you mean by being forward I guess? What is his issue with it exactly?
6. How do you reverse his thinking? You don't. Maybe there needs to be some effort on your part for changes but if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be.


I guess that is true but he's the kind of guy my parents will love to, which makes it awesome. I got quite angry with him, I think it was just as that instant, I guess I'll try and do it less. I am a woman, by forward I mean I'm not a flirt if I feel something or want something I just ask, I don't play games in their head, I just go straight for it. I don't think he knows how to deal with girls like me. That's true, I'm just going to give us some space and time, and if he still wants me. I guess he can come back, but if not I'll move on some way or another, I have a feeling he'll comeback in my life and prob have an important part in it, but atm I think still feel like we need to find ourselves.
He says there's no chance and gave a list of your faults. Rather than trying to force him back to you through manipulation, why not try to find someone who loves you despite your flaws?

Playing hard to get is childish and immature. If he falls for it it shows he prefers people who want to be chased, and you said yourself that he didn't like that you were clingy. Why try to be something you're not for a guy who doesn't want to be with you?
I think you need to find someone else. Why effort to play hard to get and uninterested if you can find someone better than that guy.
Reply 8
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grand03
Original post by amelia_lily
I think you need to find someone else. Why effort to play hard to get and uninterested if you can find someone better than that guy.


agree!
Stop being obssessive, swearing and forward. he's probably made his mind up anyway. It has to work for both people, just because he might fit your checklist doesnt mean you fit his. Go and find someone you are more compatible with.
Original post by georgiaswift
He says there's no chance and gave a list of your faults. Rather than trying to force him back to you through manipulation, why not try to find someone who loves you despite your flaws?

Playing hard to get is childish and immature. If he falls for it it shows he prefers people who want to be chased, and you said yourself that he didn't like that you were clingy. Why try to be something you're not for a guy who doesn't want to be with you?


Its kind of hard, he`s really nice guy, but i think at the heat of the moment he did it, he`s also very unlike other guys. Thats true, but he has said he wants to date me so he must like me, its just that I`m little to obsessive and maybe thats cause i really like him. do you understand? I`ve told him that we should just leave us for a few days kind of like a break, so i dont know, have i done the right thing?
Original post by 999tigger
Stop being obssessive, swearing and forward. he's probably made his mind up anyway. It has to work for both people, just because he might fit your checklist doesnt mean you fit his. Go and find someone you are more compatible with.


He`s told me that if we were to date, it`d lead to marriage, so i think that shows that hethinks we are compatible. Its just my fault for being a weirdo.
Original post by Anonymous
He`s told me that if we were to date, it`d lead to marriage, so i think that shows that hethinks we are compatible. Its just my fault for being a weirdo.


You are 19 and thats not very old. You need a lot of experience with people.

Are you that desperate to get married? You dont know him. trusyt me men say all sorts of rubbish, dont believe it all. You arent a werido. You seem to get obsssessed and be a bit possessibe too early and men will find that offputting. they like to chase, it builds their ego. Honestly I cant take it seriously you ahvent dated you dont know whether you are compatible till you really know each other and that takes time.

Do carry on beating yourself up about it rather than enjoying being happy by being yourself.
Original post by Impressive
Why you're the failed teacher?

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Why am I a failed teacher did you mean to ask? You can check out my blog which is accessible from my profile :smile:
Obtain professional help through a registered, full qualified councillor and refrain from airing your problems with complete STRANGERS.
Original post by JoeGambit
Obtain professional help through a registered, full qualified councillor and refrain from airing your problems with complete STRANGERS.

bit late .....

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